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AIBU?

About School and detention?

314 replies

Recallclock · 05/02/2018 14:17

Prepared to be flamed.

Dd has sen and is according to schools own safeguarding team 'vulnerable'
Because of bullying and lack of options when we moved her her new school is out of Borough.

There has been a few times she has been kept back as a whole class detention because someone else wouldn't shut up talking and missed her connecting bus and got home very late leaving her waiting forty minutes alone at a bus stop and walking through the door at 6.30pm. (her school finished at 4.10pm but even keeping them back twenty minutes means she misses her commenting bus.)

I had a lot of involvement with the old senco who was brilliant and was in contact regularly but a new one has started and I have little involvement with her however I spoke to her on the advice of Mumsnet and asked for dd to be not kept back if she had not been involved due to her issues getting home and if she had to be given recall for herself if it could be done at lunch or if it had to be after school with notice so I could sort collection. She's never had individual recall.

I have just had a phone call now to say she is being kept back tonight as she hasn't done her homework. I'm not impressed she has not done her homework (she does have organisation issues as part of her sen) but she's not done it so fair enough.
I'm miles away with no car and can't get hold of my Dad to get her so my sen child will be on detention until 5pm and isn't likely to walk through the door until 7pm.
She also doesn't know the buses at other times so is going to be in a right state.

Aibu to have expected them to give a sen child 24 hours notice particularly when I have asked and they agreed or keep her in at lunch?

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Recallclock · 05/02/2018 14:46

Anyone? Wondering if I should contact senco again?

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bobstersmum · 05/02/2018 14:48

I'm with you on this one, you need to speak to the senco ASAP and speak to her tutor as well, it's not acceptable for her to be left without proper safe transport home.

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TieGrr · 05/02/2018 14:49

I'd contact SENCO again. You're not asking for special treatment here - as in, she still has to do detention - all you're asking for an accommodation. That you get notice so you can arrange safe transport home.

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Invisimamma · 05/02/2018 14:50

Contact the school, explain the transport/Sen issue and suggest another time she can do her detention.

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upsideup · 05/02/2018 14:53

YADNBU! Contact them again.
No way would I put up with this kind of treatment from the school, whats the point of labelling her as 'vunerable' if they are not going to bother adding special measures to protect her.
I also disagree with keeping the whole class back because of one childs bad behaviour.

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TinaMena · 05/02/2018 14:55

If the school keep her back, then they are responsible for getting her home safely, and need to be providing transport

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Recallclock · 05/02/2018 14:55

Thank you.
Commenting bus should say connecting bus, sorry it autocorrected.

I'm absolutely not asking for her to be not punished or have special rules. Just be able to get home safely. Because of the schools location it isn't unusual to have out of Borough kids so it's not something they are not aware of. Some are much further than us.

In fairness they don't usually ring and just keep back so they think by the receptionist ringing me that they have given notice but two hours before they finish is not enough for me to sort work and get back or catch someone who may have gone out to help where are if they said tomorrow night I could make arrangements.

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Recallclock · 05/02/2018 14:58

*were as
Sorry fat fingers on phone!

I massively disagree with whole class detention. In fairness since I spoke to them last she has been let go in that situation.

This time it is just her in detention which is fair enough but I still need to get her home safely.

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minionsrule · 05/02/2018 15:00

DS does not have SN but even in his school they never get same day after school detention, it is always a few days later and it is noted in their Journal so you know (and they are supposed to put it on My Ed so you can see as well.
This is definitely not on and I would be onto school, SN or no SN to be honest

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Angrybird345 · 05/02/2018 15:01

Why didn’t you say she can do detention but not today??

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Recallclock · 05/02/2018 15:21

Angrybird it was the school receptionist who knew nothing and couldn't do anything about it. I would need to contact the relevant person.

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Pengggwn · 05/02/2018 15:27

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Recallclock · 05/02/2018 15:42

We have never had a policy or document saying detention with no notice, first issue I had was this year when she started to be held back for whole class detention and the senco DID agree to my request to give notice. Two hours is obviously the notice period.

I don't want her not punished if she's done wrong.
Her sen affects her maturity, her understanding of language, her processing, her ability to manage change at short notice and her ability to understand people's intentions.

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Recallclock · 05/02/2018 15:44

This school year that should say.

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Pengggwn · 05/02/2018 15:44

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DancesWithOtters · 05/02/2018 15:50

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Recallclock · 05/02/2018 16:01

Peng I don't think they have forgotten, as they rang with two hours notice which they don't usually do. I just wondered if two hours are reasonable really.

She's going to have to do it as I can't get to pick her up and can't get hold of a relative to do so. Being a single parent it's not as easy to have backup in this situation.

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Pengggwn · 05/02/2018 16:02

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Recallclock · 05/02/2018 16:12

OK I've found the email.

'As for the recall, as you say, I’m sure dds name is very unlikely to get a recall but I will make staff aware that if she does get a recall it needs to be completed within the school day'

I then replied and said that if dd needed to come for intervention which was extra classes for those who struggle which is after school that would be fine as long as I knew in advance so I could make sure that I could get someone to collect her.

She replied 'Of course! I’ve e-mailed staff and asked them to liaise with me should she never need to stay behind'

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SweetMoon · 05/02/2018 16:16

If the detnetion means she can't get home safely then I think the school should at least try and change this. She is still getting punished but not being left on her own trying to get home in the dark. Can you call the school and speak with the teacher concerned as they perhaps don't know the full story. Some schools may have same day detention but in a scenario like this surely there would be a bit of common sense used?

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Recallclock · 05/02/2018 16:18

Apparently dd has spoken to the teacher and told her about the senco. She's spoken to the senco who sent her back to the teacher and the teacher said it wasn't anything to do with her and she still had recall and could sort it with safeguarding of she didn't like it.

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Pengggwn · 05/02/2018 16:20

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KanyeWesticle · 05/02/2018 16:21

She doesn't have to do it. The teacher can postpone. Call back, explain and say no to detention tonight, and then make arrangements to accommodate her detention tomorrow.

By going along with it tonight, you're agreeing that two hours notice is fine, and she can cope with the journey home. If she truly can't, say so.

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Recallclock · 05/02/2018 16:21

I've left and am on the train.

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Pengggwn · 05/02/2018 16:23

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