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To ask if there's anything GOOD about the menopause?

(157 Posts)
scampimom Mon 05-Feb-18 10:00:10

Think I'm approaching menopause, and have made an appointment with the doctor to check, and maybe talk about possible treatment. But the more I look online for info about menopause the more depressed I get. It appears that what I have to look forward to is getting even fatter, losing the thickness of my hair, bones like porcelain, skin like leather, foof like the Sahara, sweats and tiredness, rage, sadness and sagging.

Does anyone have any positive experiences? The only positive things I can find all seem to centre on being in your 50s and having children who are grown up, thereby allowing you freedom to suddenly take up rock climbing or ashtanga yoga or cruise the world. But I'm early 40s and my DD is 4.5, she'll not be moving out much before I retire.

Tell me there's an upside to being a middle-aged dollop with a face like beetroot every hour or so? grin

ThroughThickAndThin01 Mon 05-Feb-18 10:01:27

Not having periods/period pain any more. It's absolutely fantastic.

Apocalyptichorsewoman Mon 05-Feb-18 10:03:08

Not having to buy tampons...

HamishBamish Mon 05-Feb-18 10:04:03

Marking my place as I'm wondering the same thing! I'm now closer to 50 than 40 and I'm really noticing some of the symptoms of peri menopause. It's horrible now, so I'm dreading it getting worse. Also wondering about whether I need to go down the HRT route.

Any positive stories would be very welcome!

Apocalyptichorsewoman Mon 05-Feb-18 10:04:11

Can you tell I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel here?

Jamiefraserskilt Mon 05-Feb-18 10:05:40

It is a great excuse to become eccentric. No more pussyfooting about. Forgetting shit is normal. Blushing from your hooves to your hair is excused. No sleep and crankiness is all put down to hormones. No periods, heaven. No birth control, even better. Going through it is unpleasant but women after 60 are supposed to have better sex lives...

SchrodingersFrilledLizard Mon 05-Feb-18 10:06:54

I now have white sheets on my bed. I couldn't risk that before.

Fintress Mon 05-Feb-18 10:07:18

Not having periods/period pain any more. It's absolutely fantastic

Definitely! Hamish the peri-menopause was hellish for me but I sailed through the menopause. 6 years and counting.

Anniegetyourgun Mon 05-Feb-18 10:07:23

All I seem to have had from menopause is an absence of periods. They just kind of tailed off and stopped nearly a decade ago. All the other stuff... haven't noticed it yet, and I'm much nearer 60 than 50 now so it would have happened if it was going to. (To be fair, I did get fat, but that's more likely due to poor lifestyle choices. Had I gone for an apple instead of, for example, this bag of Thornton's fudge sitting before me this minute I would likely be a decent shape still. The mood swings got a whole lot better when I left XH so I'm fairly convinced they weren't hormonal in origin.)

DSis has had a bit of a harder time of it but says HRT is marvellous.

simbobs Mon 05-Feb-18 10:09:16

It's a life stage. That doesn't necessarily need "treatment". I tried a few herbal things to lessen the flushes but they didn't really make a difference. Just ride it. It may not be as bad as you think. I am just about coming out the other end now and can't say it has been that bad.

The80sweregreat Mon 05-Feb-18 10:10:22

I love not having periods, but not gone round the year yet so still time for them to start up ! I hate the insomnia, even if i go to bed exhausted, i am awake at 3 or 4 am and the night sweats start etc. the hot flushes are really horrible. I suppose the best bit is that the boys are early 20s now and i have some time to myself ( but caring for an elderly dad, so not that much time) and taken up pilates, which help. I do get very down and depressed at times, not much patience and no get up and go. its a weird time for a woman. Not had a chance to discuss my blood results with a doctor yet, so that will be interesting if she recommends HRT. I dont want to take it though to be honest, but if it helps me sleep then i might give it a go. thats the worst bit for me, i cant function that well if i've not slept.

namechange2222 Mon 05-Feb-18 10:12:09

I had to rack my brains but I honestly think the absolute guarantee that I wouldn't get pregnant increased my libido. Sex became the best it had ever been

ScreamingValenta Mon 05-Feb-18 10:12:37

My skin and hair have actually improved since my (surgical) menopause. As pps have said, not having periods is fantastic. No more monthly bloating, no having to wear bras in a larger cup size for the week of my period because my breasts are so painful. No more flooding ruining sheets and underwear. My life is much better!

StUmbrageinSkelt Mon 05-Feb-18 10:15:54

No migraines. After decades of severe migraines, the relief is incredible.
Hair's fine, no periods is nice, hot flushes don't thrill me but overall it's not a BFD.

If it had been I would have considered HRT.

apostropheuse Mon 05-Feb-18 10:16:20

I had my final period at 38 and I'm now 56. I loved not having periods. I truthfully didn't have any issues with menopause - I was never offered HRT and didn't need it.

Surely you will only need "treatment" if you do have bothersome symptoms?

apostropheuse Mon 05-Feb-18 10:18:19

Oh, actually migraines massively reduced in frequency. They're an extremely rare occurence now.

NovemberWitch Mon 05-Feb-18 10:18:41

Went through it with very few symptoms, it’s great not having periods, the mess, the worry and cramps, the weight gain and irritability. Plus it’s cheaper not buying sanitary products.

scampimom Mon 05-Feb-18 10:19:12

What's a BFD?

I would quite like the nights sweats to bugger off. I've not had a proper night's sleep in months.

I quite fancy becoming more eccentric.

annandale Mon 05-Feb-18 10:20:29

No more periods. YES.

Not giving a fuck any more.

Being a fucking matriarch. It rocks and it works better when you don't have to keep having periods.

scampimom Mon 05-Feb-18 10:21:12

The symptoms I'm getting are the drenching night sweats, hot flushes sometimes, mood swings, weight gain round the middle and tiredness (though that's probably down to not sleeping properly because of the night sweats). Oh, and joint and muscle pain.

Gosh, isn't menopause FUN.

Fontella Mon 05-Feb-18 10:21:58

Perimenopause is an absolute living hell (well mine was) but once your periods actually stop for good and you are out the other side, then life starts to get better - as least mine has!

You know when you are young and someone criticises you and you say 'I don't give a shit what anyone thinks', but you really, really do? Well when you are post menopausal - you genuinely don't give a shit and it's bloody marvellous!

You know when you are younger and you are in a place or situation where you dearly want to speak out or complain but instead you keep quiet and silently cheer on the feisty 'old' lady who says it out loud for you? Well, you become that 'old' lady who says what she thinks and means what she says.

As a post menopausal woman - I feel so much more free, more courageous, more fearless, more eloquent, more don't give a shit ... that I did when I was younger, and the hell of peri was worth it, to get to how I feel now. Then there's all the physical stuff - no more bleeding, tampons, mood swings, being governed by my hormones and most importantly sore tits. Mine were absolute agony every month of my life for decades, and nothing would alleviate it. Now I don't even know they're there! grin

I'm fit, feisty, fearless and embracing this time of my life. I look at younger people and I have no wish to be them. I'm glad I'm the age I am and I wouldn't go back if you paid me.

During the peri years I was fat, miserable, depressed, anti-social, morbid, anxious, breathless, an insomniac, someone who could burst into tears at the drop of a hat ... and completely invisible. I could walk around and no-one would notice me, never glance in my direction - and my world was monochrome - it was weird, almost like I'd faded somehow, like I'd become transparent.

Now people notice me again. They lock eyes, engage, smile, I even get blokes looking at me from time to time (I was completely invisible to the male species for a good decade I reckon) and my life is full on technicolour.

Hang in there - it can and does get better!

TheFaerieQueene Mon 05-Feb-18 10:22:01

It isn’t nice. The hot flushes are the worst. But, I still look much younger than my age (52 but can easily pass as 10 years younger). My skin is still great, I don’t have wrinkles or blemishes. My hair is thick and long and in great condition. I have to work harder at keeping my weight under control but I’m still a small size 10.
I didn’t go down the HRT route because of my maternal family having a lot of breast cancer. I’m out the other side and loving life.

CremeFresh Mon 05-Feb-18 10:22:31

Interesting about the migraines stopping, mine have too. I spent so many appointments at the doctors telling him I was sure they were linked to my cycle but he wouldn't have it.

ElsieMc Mon 05-Feb-18 10:25:05

I welcomed mine. I was getting a bit tubby round the middle any way.

Prior to my periods ending, they were so bad that I had to go into hospital for them to give me medication to stop them. It turned out my womb lining had become so thick that having a period was a nightmare. They wanted to put a balloon inside me - how does that work? Visions of it popping loudly.

Yes, night sweats were horrible. I kept a change of nightwear handy and just got up and washed. But the hot flushes, I quite enjoyed as they were strangely warming in winter as I waited in a freezing playground. Like having inbuilt central heating.

You don't suddenly become aged. You will have been heading that way anyway. My hair is not as lustrous but it was incredibly thick so I find I don't need it cutting quite as much. I want to give up dying it (I am really grey) but my family have made a fuss about it fgs. Dying it does make it glossy though. My fringe does strange things now but I don't fight it, I embrace it.

My kids are grown up but I am bringing up two grandchildren who are teenagers. Teenage years are worse than the menopause believe me.
Menopause and teenagers don't mix.

GhettoFabulous Mon 05-Feb-18 10:25:20

You stop giving a toss what anyone thinks about you. I'm very much looking forward to being an old bag.

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