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Splitting bills AIBU

(256 Posts)
Morgan14 Sun 04-Feb-18 20:38:37

My boyfriend wants to live with me and we are talking about how to split bills. I live in a nice house with my 3 DC so he wants to come and live with us in our current property. I currently pay all the rent and all the household bills obviously. He proposes that he moves in and gives me £70 per week towards bills (he works full time and earns considerably more than me) and that he will give me a card to his account that I can draw extra money out if I need it. To me this feels demeaning. I don't want to ask him if I can draw extra money. I'm not sure how it makes me feel but it doesn't feel good. AIBU??

newnamechange84 Sun 04-Feb-18 20:40:11

He wants to live for £240 a month? He's having an absolute laugh! I'd say him paying a third would be more realistic. If he wants to become a proper part of your family then he needs to take some financial responsibility on for that family too.

MyBrilliantDisguise Sun 04-Feb-18 20:41:14

I burst out laughing when I read this.

For god's sake, this man is a wannabe cocklodger. He's shown his true colours - end the relationship now.

NotWithABang Sun 04-Feb-18 20:41:17

YANBU! IMO and my experience, if you move in together he is choosing to take on all of you, and finances should reflect that. £70 a week is insulting. He should be paying at least half of everything.
I live with my DP who isn't my DS bio father (even though in every other sense he is) and we have one joint acct where all bills go out of, we put into savings jointly and then we have equal spending money for the month. He earns a lot more than me so I feel happy having all our money together.

StealthPolarBear Sun 04-Feb-18 20:41:28

Yanbu

GabriellaMontez Sun 04-Feb-18 20:42:08

How much is rent and bills? How has he arrived at this figure?

LML83 Sun 04-Feb-18 20:42:50

Add up the bills and work out what half is. Then how far off the mark is £70 per wk? if it is only slightly different you may not be bothered. Or you could suggest a bit more.

If he is giving you a card it doesn't sound like you would have to ask. Though I understand you might feel awkward taking his money.

MyBrilliantDisguise Sun 04-Feb-18 20:43:13

He's clearly thought of the lowest figure she might accept. He probably wanted to go for £50 pw but begrudgingly thought he'd do her a huge favour and make it £70.

SweetMoon Sun 04-Feb-18 20:43:44

Surely it should be 50/50? Unless he's moving in as a lodger!

restingbemusedface Sun 04-Feb-18 20:43:44

How much is rent and bills for you currently without him living there?

expatinscotland Sun 04-Feb-18 20:43:45

Erm, nope.

'and that he will give me a card to his account that I can draw extra money out if I need it. To me this feels demeaning. I don't want to ask him if I can draw extra money. I'm not sure how it makes me feel but it doesn't feel good. AIBU??'

That is exactly what he's banking on, too, that you'll feel too humliated to confront him about piss-taking.

No.fucking.way.

This is very simple. 'I'm not ready for a live-in relationship just now.' Rinse and repeat.

babyccinoo Sun 04-Feb-18 20:45:27

shock

He is a wannabe cocklodger. I bet he knows you would rarely use his card.

He needs to pay 50% rent, bills and shopping!

Gemini69 Sun 04-Feb-18 20:46:30

no chance flowers

ruddynorah Sun 04-Feb-18 20:46:31

Do you currently get single person discount on council tax? And any working tax credits? You'll lose them so add them into your workings out.

Morgan14 Sun 04-Feb-18 20:46:55

Rent and bills (not including food just direct debits comes to about £1100)

Shoxfordian Sun 04-Feb-18 20:47:13

That sounds like a great deal. For him.

He needs to pay half of rent, bills, food.

user1493413286 Sun 04-Feb-18 20:47:32

Is he also paying towards the mortgage or rent? I think it’s fair for him to pay half the bills but less towards the food shop as that’s obviously very affected by the children. If he feels he doesn’t want to cover half the bills because they’re higher due to your children then you could reduce what he pays to a bit less than half but I’m not sure how much they would increase bills.
I don’t think he should necessarily be paying half of everything as if he was to just live with a partner I doubt he’d have the size house you have with 3 children (but I might be wrong on that) and I don’t think being with someone who has children means taking on financial responsibility for them.

Royalfuckup Sun 04-Feb-18 20:48:31

Ok, so he pays you half of £550 and you use his card to pay half food bills if you go shopping without him.

LML83 Sun 04-Feb-18 20:49:01

I would expect him to pay £550 and chip in for food. How did he come up with £70?!?!

Springtrolls Sun 04-Feb-18 20:49:10

£70 a week?
Hahaha. Such a shame. He will have to stay in his current place.
It's not just about the rent and the bills.
The food, drinks, toiletries etc. They don't come for free.

MrsPicklesonSmythe Sun 04-Feb-18 20:49:58

SEVENTY QUID A WEEK?!

He’s dreaming!!!! He splits everything down the middle and becomes part of the family or off he fucks! You’ll be loads worse off with him moving in in more ways than one by the sounds of it.

Please don’t agree to this. It’s madness.

petbear Sun 04-Feb-18 20:51:17

Tell him to fuck off. £600 a month - minimum!

StellaHeyStella Sun 04-Feb-18 20:51:30

Blimey! £70 a week? Is he currently living at home with mummy by any chance?
I bet he can’t wait to move his things into his your place op, it sounds like a good deal (for him that is)

expatinscotland Sun 04-Feb-18 20:51:40

I know adults how live with their parents who pay more a week, OP. They have to because the parents cannot afford to keep them as a pet.

Nah, just no. Plus, how would the kids feel with this guy moving in?

NapQueen Sun 04-Feb-18 20:52:23

What does he currently pay?

I think if you owned the home it would be crap to have to pay towards a mortgage that isnt his, however its a rental so he should be paying a third (third you third him third kids which obvs you pay).

Id also expect him to contribute to 50% of the food shop and 50%of the utilities.

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