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To be so disappointed about a birthday cake

(227 Posts)
Mrsknackered Sun 04-Feb-18 17:45:15

DP has cocked up my birthday every year so far, and last year I had enough (that was the 4th birthday with him and a landmark birthday) and told him that following birthdays, I expect a card from the kids, a cake of some sort and ideally some time spent together.

Last year he bought me a watch. I had pointed out a watch I liked a few months earlier, big plain face and slender leather strap and what I received was a monster of a watch with the face completely encrusted with crystals from an expensive designer. He was so sure I'd love it that I just accepted it and take it off as soon as he goes to work.

This year he paid for me to get some new jeans, we went for dinner last night and it was really lovely. DS did me a card, etc. My actual birthday is today, so we had cake today. Here comes the bratty part. My goodness, the cake was hideous. Bright blue hard icing with a strange white motif on top and a pink icing rose. It was also cake that I dislike, and I've mentioned this so many times in his presence because everyone thinks it's weird that I don't like it.

I'm secretly well its a little obvious a bit peeved and it's not because of the fucking cake, just the fact that he clearly, STILL has absolutely no idea of what I like and/or just doesn't take any notice. He's called me ungrateful, and said I'd be fuming if it was vice versa but I'd never buy him something he's specifically said he doesn't like or that ugly

formerbabe Sun 04-Feb-18 17:47:12


You sound like a spolit child.

formerbabe Sun 04-Feb-18 17:47:36


ssd Sun 04-Feb-18 17:48:09

buy your own, thats what I do

Whatshallidonowpeople Sun 04-Feb-18 17:48:17

He clearly isn't the slightest interest in you.

wetpebbles Sun 04-Feb-18 17:49:12

Do the same back to him

PinkHeart5914 Sun 04-Feb-18 17:50:05

So you got new jeans as a gift
a lovely meal out
A card from your ds
A cake

And your still not happy due to the colour of said cake, blimey no pleasing some people....

Lucymek Sun 04-Feb-18 17:50:08

Are you one of them people who takes photos of their cakes and put its on social media?

AlpacaLypse Sun 04-Feb-18 17:50:22

If he's been made aware in the past that you don't like this sort of cake then YANBU.

The watch thing would also thoroughly annoy me.

Solongtoshort Sun 04-Feb-18 17:51:09

Happy birthday 🎉.

it’s mine today as well. I have had such a nice day because l said l didn’t want to do anything zero expectations zero disappointment.

Monoblock67 Sun 04-Feb-18 17:53:17

If you’re like me who doesn’t like birthday cake-and my DH is well aware of it-and he bought me a birthday cake instead of a chocolate cake; well yes I’d be disappointed to. It’s not about the cake, it’s about him not listening to what you like, and I get that. It does sound like he’s getting better though-I’m sure by next birthday you’ll have the cake you actually like.

Mrsknackered Sun 04-Feb-18 17:53:22

lucymek no! I'd appreciate a £3 carrot cake, not a £20 blue thing.

Yes I got jeans. Jeans that he gave me the money for, I went and bought them myself in my own free time. We did have a lovely meal, in the restaurant that I chose whilst out because he cocked up the booking for the original place (for a time babysitter couldn't make it)

So yes, I had a lovely birthday. But I always have to bloody do it myself or it's a shambles. The cake took the biscuit for me, considering he knew.

Raver84 Sun 04-Feb-18 17:53:43

Lol you sound like a 6 year old. Didn't like the cake? Buy one yourself. I've been with my husband dor 13 years and he wouldn't have a clue what cake to buy but would just buy one with a pretty design for me and our kids to share and to blow out some candles. If its so important he must get it right you shpuld have been honest about the watch and more specific what cake you want . The dinner and jeans sound great why pick faults.

lovelystar Sun 04-Feb-18 17:54:32

I can see where you are coming from but I do think you are being a little UR. My boyfriend can't even remember the date of my birthday without reminding him so I'd be over the moon with an ugly cake that i didn't like grin l. It all depends on how high your standards are I guess

Monoblock67 Sun 04-Feb-18 17:54:49

And I would be disappointed because I go to every effort to make sure he has a great birthday every year, so it’s not spoiled to expect the same; it’s about respect.

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe Sun 04-Feb-18 17:56:18

Oh I don't know Op, is it that you think he deliberately chose something you wouldn't like? It seems a bit unlikely unless there's form. If he's tried but just didn't hit the mark I think YABU, it's just a cake!

SparkleFizz Sun 04-Feb-18 17:57:18

I think you’ve got a point.

Not liking the cake decorations is one thing - he may have genuinely thought that it was the prettiest cake - but getting the flavour wrong is rubbish.

I’d be thinking along the lines of FFS, we’ve been together 5 years, and you still can’t remember that I hate [popular flavour] cake? That comes across as thoughtless at best really.

SleepingInYourFlowerbed Sun 04-Feb-18 17:57:57

He doesn't deem it important enough to remember what you like. That's pretty insulting.

RoseWhiteTips Sun 04-Feb-18 17:58:25

You sound ungrateful. I feel sorry for your OH.

ilovesooty Sun 04-Feb-18 17:59:45

the cake took the biscuit grin

Aeroflotgirl Sun 04-Feb-18 18:00:06

God you sound like hard work, why did you not tell him beforehand what cake you liked or buy your own.

ifIwasinvisiblewaitIalreadyam Sun 04-Feb-18 18:00:12

I totally agree with your sentiment. My DP does the exact same thing. Last year I even sent him a picture of the exact perfume I wanted so that there was no mistake. And he still bought the wrong one. It's not the things or the expense, it's the fact that the person you are with is supposed to know you and what you like or love. It's a piss take if they get things you blatantly don't like. This same year of the perfume he didn't even get me a card from him or our boys, which broke my heart because just a card would have made my day. I totally get you with this. ❤️ I hope you enjoy the rest of your day x

Valerrie Sun 04-Feb-18 18:00:25

He clearly doesn't give a shit about you or what you like.

My DH knows exactly what I like and dislike and would never get me something he knew I wouldn't like. Why would he? He cares about pleasing me.

Seniorcitizen1 Sun 04-Feb-18 18:03:22

How old are you - 5?

GreatDuckCookery Sun 04-Feb-18 18:04:17

Sorry but you sound ungrateful. A cake is a cake 🎂

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