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To wear my wedding dress to my friend's wedding?

(93 Posts)
EmmaGrundyForPM Sun 04-Feb-18 16:23:34

I got married in a registry office over 20 years ago. Not a traditional wedding. I wore a lovely green silk day dress which was knee length. It's quite a classic style so hasn't really dated.

I wore the dress a few times afterwards, which was always the plan, then had kids and never fitted into it again, but kept it anyway.

I'm currently on a diet and hoping to lose enough weight to get back into it.

I'm due to go to a friends wedding in 3 months time. I mentioned to another friend that I might wear my old wedding dress explaining that it is NOT a proper wedding dress) and she was horrified. She says it's a really off thing to do, and she thought the bride would be upset if she knew.

The bride is someone I met through work a few years ago, so wasn't at my wedding. No one at the forthcoming wedding was at my wedding. There is no way anyone would look at my dress and guess it was a wedding dress. The bride has seen a photo of me and dh on our wedding day but is unlikely to remember what I wore.

So, assuming I lose the weight and can squeeze back into it, AIBU to wear it to another wedding? Dh and I have been happily married for over 20 years so it's not like it's "unlucky".

Firenight Sun 04-Feb-18 16:24:14

Yes of course it’s fine.

Didactylos Sun 04-Feb-18 16:25:24

as long as its not the full white meringue with veil and train I doubt the bride would even notice

Rewn7 Sun 04-Feb-18 16:25:36

Of course it’s fine. The friend who said otherwise is being weird and precious.

MargaretCavendish Sun 04-Feb-18 16:26:04

I think your friend's horror was partially because she thought that if you'd told her you might tell other people. So long as you don't tell a single person at the wedding - as that would be really obnoxious - then I think it's fine to wear it as a 'normal dress'.

Squeegle Sun 04-Feb-18 16:26:20

Why wouldn’t it be? How would anyone know?

Solasshole Sun 04-Feb-18 16:26:43

If it doesn't actually look like a wedding dress and isn't white it's fine imo

Royalfuckup Sun 04-Feb-18 16:26:51

Wear it! Your friend is weird to be “horrified” hmm

It’s not a wedding dress, at least in the traditional sense. It was your wedding dress but to everyone else it will be just a lovely party frock.

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops Sun 04-Feb-18 16:26:59

I would. No one will know and you picked something you could rewear. Go and I hope you look fab (and that the bride does too).

TheQueenOfWands Sun 04-Feb-18 16:27:00

Yes, wear it.

Sounds lovely.

KC225 Sun 04-Feb-18 16:28:22

Dress sounds lovely, wear it and congratulations for getting back into it.

RideOn Sun 04-Feb-18 16:28:50

Yes as long as it’s not a big white dress. Is your friend worried you will tell everyone and divert attention from bride? But really cannot see a reason not to, it sounds lovely.

JakeBallardswife Sun 04-Feb-18 16:30:44

Sounds a really sensible thing to be doing!

SundaysFunday Sun 04-Feb-18 16:31:15

Yes no problem with wearing it.

EmmaGrundyForPM Sun 04-Feb-18 16:31:21

It doesn't in the least resemble a wedding g dress - my mother was horrified when I said I was going to wear it!

Friend just thought it was very "off" to wear it to someone else's wedding, she said she thought it wasn't the done thing but couldn't really explain why.

Margaret interesting that you think it would be obnoxious of me to mention it is my wedding dress to any other guest. I wasn't planning on doing so, but that suggests you think other people would have a prole with it as well.

MargaretCavendish Sun 04-Feb-18 16:34:30

* I wasn't planning on doing so, but that suggests you think other people would have a prole with it as well.*

I think no one reasonable would have a problem with you just wearing it, but that lots of people would think it was attention-seeking if you went around telling people it was your own wedding dress (particularly if you include the details of your recent weight loss, which is inevitably going to look like an effort to make everyone say how amazing it is that you're as small as when you got married!). At that point it's not just a normal dress - if you're making sure everyone knows it was your wedding dress, then it's essentially the same thing as turning up in a white meringue.

HonkyWonkWoman Sun 04-Feb-18 16:34:36

When you wear it, I would not mention to anyone that it is your Wedding dress. Least said............and all that.
Not that I think there is anything at all wrong with what you're wearing but to not draw attention to it. Iykwim!

StealthPolarBear Sun 04-Feb-18 16:35:17

It wouldn't even cross my mind as an issue tbh.

Bluntness100 Sun 04-Feb-18 16:35:26

I think it sounds fine, but I wouldn't be running around telling folks "look at me, I'm wearing my wedding dress". I think most folks would find it a bit odd.

Twenty years are you sure it's not dated though and you're not maybe being s little nostalgic? Could you post a pic?

DarthArts Sun 04-Feb-18 16:37:01

Your friend is being silly.

It's not a dress anyone has seen nor is it a traditional wedding dress.

Rule of thumb is would anyone think you were wearing a wedding dress if they didn't know better. A mid length green silk dress isn't going cause everyone to pause and wonder who the bride is.

FFIW my dress was a bronze gold silk. It was full length with a train. Bodice and neckline a bit like Pippa middletons but not lace. I had it shortened to mid calf and have worn it to other events since, included weddings. No one batted an eyelid. It was a total waste of a custom dress sitting in a bag and tbh I wish I'd had it altered sooner.

Bluelady Sun 04-Feb-18 16:37:05

Wear it and say nothing. Who cares whether or not it's dated.

Thistlebelle Sun 04-Feb-18 16:37:22

I think wearing a knee length green silk dress to someone’s wedding is fine. Regardless of where you have previously worn it.

meredintofpandiculation Sun 04-Feb-18 16:38:44

Twenty years are you sure it's not dated though and you're not maybe being s little nostalgic? At 20 years it's old enough to be "vintage".

PinPon Sun 04-Feb-18 16:40:42

Sounds lovely! Not a big deal in my opinion.

Bluntness100 Sun 04-Feb-18 16:41:06

I agree, it could look vintage, but well, it might just look a little dated. Plenty do.

I'm just not sure if the op is being nostalgic and a little chuffed she can get back into it, so wants to wear it for that reason, or if twenty years later it still looks great.

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