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More of a WIBU. Me or DP?

(12 Posts)
moanyoldwitch Sun 04-Feb-18 15:57:10

I am unsure about whether the division of tasks is fair right now and wondering if someone might share their opinion.
I'm mainly in a mood because I've been painting kids bedroom all day and DP does not do painting. He just doesn't and says that he would sooner just leave it and not bother or pay someone to do it (we can't afford this)

So, he doesn't do painting or gardening or DIY generally, this is all down to me. As is shopping and the massive task of organising everything for two children including clubs, birthdays, packed lunches etc etc.

He cooks once or twice a week including roast on a Sunday, the rest is me. He never cleans the bathroom or hoovers but he does clean up after dinner and we share tidying house and he always puts the kids to bed. He has a physical job and says he's too tired at the weekend to do jobs. There are so many jobs to do and I feel embarrassed to invite friends over but I don't feel able to do them all as don't have time or am not able, he refuses to pay someone to do them and won't let me pay either as we don't have enough money.

He works 10 hours most days and I work 6 hour days to fit in with school.

What do you think?

Whatshallidonowpeople Sun 04-Feb-18 15:58:29

Why did you get involved with someone like this?

moanyoldwitch Sun 04-Feb-18 16:09:50

He is lovely in many ways and I do love him, I just get frustrated with this. I am not perfect and he would probably say that I never put the washing out and put clothes away but I honestly can't think what else he does.

misskatamari Sun 04-Feb-18 16:17:19

Yanbu. He’s an adult and you’re home and children as as much his responsibility as yours

misskatamari Sun 04-Feb-18 16:17:32


limon Sun 04-Feb-18 16:19:17

Yabu. He works much longer hours than you - 50 a week to your 35 and most of the tasks you list of not all can be done while looking after children.

PurpleRobe Sun 04-Feb-18 16:23:15

What is the question?

Sounds like things are quite evenly split as he works an extra 15 hours per week?

Who does the cars etc? Him?

moanyoldwitch Sun 04-Feb-18 16:25:01

No he doesn't do the cars. They go to the garage and if you mean washing them, I do mine. He just doesn't do his or might take it to the jet wash.

Idontevencareanymore Sun 04-Feb-18 16:26:02

He does more than my husband that's for sure!
Idk. It sounds like a fair division of labour,diy ect excluded. I assume he's looked after dc while you painted? If he's not done that then yanbu but if he's kept care of them I see no issue.

Fwiw I don't mind doing most of the jobs cause dh has a tough job, very early starts and his job allows me to work as much or as little as I'd like.but I do get a bit stroppy when he doesn't pull his weight as much as id appreciate.

moanyoldwitch Sun 04-Feb-18 16:27:42

I think that if he made loads of money I would find it more tolerable but he doesn't, it's his own business and we are always in debt.
He has looked after the kids today, yes.

moanyoldwitch Sun 04-Feb-18 16:29:04

I also gave up my career so that he can run his business but it has been going 8 years now and still makes hardly any profit sad

laura65988 Wed 07-Feb-18 21:11:57

My point is he is lazy in this partnership and wants to pay others to do jobs for him no wonder he is in debt use are a partnership so use help each other out if he's struggling or u are use help each other but this whole I'm tired at weekends is crap these are his days off he wants them but there also ure days of but urd painting and trying to make house nice look after kid but it should be split down the middle at weekends u don't get weekend if ure a parent he may work more hours than u but ure also doing everything else in house etc so u are probably doing more hours than him at the end of the day u are working and contributing as well so u need to put u're foot split chores at weekends then it's done quicker and fairly then he can chill out on his weekend off ure really not asking much just Abit if help it's as much his responsibility as ures

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