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Friend cancelled because daughter was sick ...aibu to be annoyed?

(95 Posts)
Lisajohn234 Sun 04-Feb-18 10:39:57

So I never ever ask anyone for any help whatsoever.
Decorated my house alone,moved alone etc.
I needed a new wardrobe and chest of draws (flat pack).
There was a warehouse about 35 mins away and you can only get there by car.
My friend insisted i let her take me and help me lift it etc.
The day before I rang and paid for the wardrobe and chest of drawers.
The morning we were meant to collect my friend texts saying her daughter has ear ache and she can’t take me.
So I have to get taxi to collect them which cost me £60.
Later in the day she texts saying her BF is off work for a week and driving her mad.
So why couldn’t she leave her daughter with him?
The next day she’s in town with her daughter,clothes shopping.
Aibu to be a bit annoyed here?

StealthPolarBear Sun 04-Feb-18 10:40:39


Lisajohn234 Sun 04-Feb-18 10:40:39

Her boyfriend is the daughters dad.

Blackteadrinker77 Sun 04-Feb-18 10:42:12

I don't think you are being unreasonable.

I would have asked the boy friend to take you, I hate people going back on promises. It is my pet hate.

Lisajohn234 Sun 04-Feb-18 10:43:05

I’m annoyed with myself because I hate relying on anyone and stupidly didn’t even think she would cancel.

Tarraleaha Sun 04-Feb-18 11:08:08


Ear aches are horrible, but not a valid excuse unless your friend has a convertible and would have driven with the roof down. Otherwise, she just could not be bothered.
The ridiculous thing was to offer you a lift in the first place!

alotalotalot Sun 04-Feb-18 11:14:42

Did she realise you actually had to go that day and had to fork out for a taxi? Maybe she just thought you could go another time.

WheresTheHooferDoofer Sun 04-Feb-18 11:15:54

Actually, YANBU. Child's dad could have looked after her.

Myddognearlyatethedeliveryman Sun 04-Feb-18 11:16:27

I would be making a mental note to be unavailable when she needs something.

Slartybartfast Sun 04-Feb-18 11:16:39

yanbu, she was just looking for excuses.
unless of course she was really worried about her dd

megletthesecond Sun 04-Feb-18 11:18:05

Yanbu. But I'd bet her bf is being a shit and complaining about looking after his dd and put your friend in a rotten position. (See also my xp).

Namechangetempissue Sun 04-Feb-18 11:18:14

YANBU. I wouldn't be offering up any favours in the future.

GentleJones Sun 04-Feb-18 11:19:04

YANBU but could you have asked to pick up the following day?

Can understand why you’d just get the taxi though, I’d do the same, I never ask for help either and this would confirm my reasons why.

JaneEyre70 Sun 04-Feb-18 11:19:35

Just remember this when she next asks for a favour.

Series28 Sun 04-Feb-18 11:19:44

Hmmm, did she even apologise? I get why it would be annoying but personally I have cancels plans with friends many times because my DC were ill, i feel like thats one of the only valid excuses.

Cornettoninja Sun 04-Feb-18 11:26:54

How old is her dd? A child whose old enough to comprehend her parent is popping out then yanbu but any younger then I think I'd cut her some slack.

Preschoolers don't really understand why they feel poorly or in pain and can't articulate what's going on and just want their mum. If she doesn't particularly trust her bf's parenting (whole other thread) then I would understand the reluctance.

Incidentally if you don't drive (I don't either) it's worth pricing up some local man with vans outfits, it can work out much much cheaper for things like furniture.

mikeyssister Sun 04-Feb-18 11:30:56

@Cornettoninja the DD is old enough to go clothes shopping

TinaMena Sun 04-Feb-18 11:34:57

Drawers, not draws. Sorry - couldn't resist

Nanny0gg Sun 04-Feb-18 11:35:19


And whilst she may want her mum, her father was there.

LifeBeginsAtGin Sun 04-Feb-18 11:36:06

She could have offered an alternative date so sounds like she cba.

whitecremeegg Sun 04-Feb-18 11:36:08

I would have replied "well at least you didn't have to pay £60 for a taxi because your friend doesn't trust their partner to look after his own child"

FrancisCrawford Sun 04-Feb-18 11:38:39

Yeah, that was crap of her.

Don’t be in a rush to contact her and certainly don’t do her any favours.

Lisajohn234 Sun 04-Feb-18 11:40:04

Her daughter is 7.
No I didn’t ask her to take me another day as I felt uncomfortable asking after she just cancelled.
Lesson learnt -rely on nobody

nornironlady Sun 04-Feb-18 11:40:58

Details aside this is just the way it is relying on someone else. I'm like yourself OP, independent and ask for no help so when I do I expect that folk will at least try to accommodate me (usually family members) - I always give plenty of notice etc. This means nothing, IME it comes down to whether they can actually be bothered or not.

LemonShark Sun 04-Feb-18 11:42:17

Yeah that's so shit of her. If I was here I'd be falling over myself to apologise and offering to pay for at least some if not all of the cab fare!

Have you got any plans to learn to drive OP? It's honestly much better than having to rely on others for these sorts of situations where a car trip is unavoidably necessary.

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