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To Clean Lodger's Room?

(126 Posts)
MarriedToNetflix Fri 02-Feb-18 19:08:08

NC for this.

I live with my husband and female friend who's our lodger. She pays rent every month and has her own room while having full use of the rest of the house. She works nights (5 on, 2 off) and we're all in our early thirties.

Lodger has always been lazy. She never cleans the communal areas but has always seen to her room. About a year ago she brought a cat home who was due to be put down that belonged to her friend and it didn't get along with our cat so she keeps it confined to her room at all times. The cat won't leave the room even if the door is open so while I've been concerned about the cat, I've been told she's fine.

Lodger hasn't cooked in months. She orders takeaway, eats in her room and doesn't take the rubbish out. She does a big clean maybe once a month and fills our bin up when she does it. I haven't spoken to her about this because I didn't want her to be embarrassed.

She's been away for four days with no contact. I tried texting her asking if she was coming home and if she needed me to feed the cat. No response. Called many times. One ring and straight to voicemail. Mutual friends said she was out drinking Wednesday and yesterday so I knew she was safe but I couldn't get hold of her at all. I'm annoyed because I've fed her cat on request before but either a) she expected me to feed the cat or b) didn't mind the cat starving with no fresh water for days.

After realising the cat hadn't been fed in two days I went into her room to feed it and OH MY GOD THE MESS. Cat litter and poo on the carpet, clothes everywhere, tins and tins of empty cat food on the side and the smell was disgusting. I fed the cat and left but mentioned it to my husband who went upstairs and said he could smell it on the landing. He said we couldn't live like this and went in to change the cats litter tray, take out the three black bags of rubbish he found including one of used cat litter and to crack a window.

Lodger came home today and said hello. We didn't say anything. She obviously noticed her room was cleaner and didn't confront us. We went out and came home to her leaving for work through the front door without even saying goodbye as usual so she's annoyed.

Was this unreasonable to feed her cat and expect not to live in filth in our home? It was absolutely reeking. Planning on having a conversation Sunday when I next see her about where to go from here.

AndersArms Fri 02-Feb-18 19:09:23

That's gross OP. I'd be asking her to leave.

Pengggwn Fri 02-Feb-18 19:10:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OydNeverDeclinesGin Fri 02-Feb-18 19:10:23

That's rank. It's time for her to leave. I'd be furious in your position. How dare she treat your property and her cat like that.

Lucyccfc Fri 02-Feb-18 19:11:15

Why haven't you discussed it with her. She may pay rent for her room, but it doesn't give her the right to live like a tramp in your house.

She'd be getting a final warning from me and if she didn't shape up, I'd boot her out.

Snausage Fri 02-Feb-18 19:13:16

Usually I'd say you'd be unreasonable to tidy a lodger's bedroom.

This, however, is different! She's your friend as well as lodger and she had left her room in such a state that the smell encroached on the rest of your home, as well as neglecting a pet for four days.

My guess is she's pissed off because she's so embarrassed! I would be absolutely mortified if I were her. So, no, I don't think you were unreasonable!

Supermagicsmile Fri 02-Feb-18 19:13:43

I'd ask her to leave, deep clean her room and rent it out to someone else!

Beamur Fri 02-Feb-18 19:14:06

Yuk. Really horrible and irresponsible care of her poor cat too.
I'd be asking her to leave.

Thistlebelle Fri 02-Feb-18 19:14:54

I’d be giving her notice to quit.

That’s a health hazard.

AdalindSchade Fri 02-Feb-18 19:16:45

Get her gone. The cat needs to be rehomed too - no cat can live in one room. How have you not tackled this already?

llangennith Fri 02-Feb-18 19:17:25

Keep the cat, rehome the lodger.

MarriedToNetflix Fri 02-Feb-18 19:17:26

Honestly, I didn't know how bad it had become. I don't go into her room at all unless asked and then it's usually after one of her big cleans when she's away for work or visiting family. DH and I knew she had ordered lots of takeaway and the boxes were never in the recycling after but it never smelled so I assumed she was taking care of it.

I have photos of the state it was in because she's clearly off to work to vent to our mutual friends about an invasion of privacy but it's so disgusting we had to do something. We have custody of DSS on the weekends who has his own room but we couldn't allow that scent while he was here and I had to feed the poor cat as nobody else was.

DH and I are planning a conversation on Sunday about everything. We had no idea how bad it was and never agreed with the treatment of the cat confined to such a small space but as she was being fed and watered it wasn't a cause for animal abuse at the time. Now it is. Now it's a huge issue and we want her to find somewhere else to live because it's truly disgusting.

hibbledibble Fri 02-Feb-18 19:18:12

It is clearly not working out so give her notice.

If she lives like this I can't see it changing with any speed.

PlateOfBiscuits Fri 02-Feb-18 19:19:09

That poor cat sad

Willow2017 Fri 02-Feb-18 19:20:07

Take 5he cat to a shelter.
Give her a Hoover, carpet washer and duster and antibac and tell her to scrub the room top to bottom. Then tell her to get the fuck oyt your hiyse

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered Fri 02-Feb-18 19:21:01

shock you need to give her notice immediately! That's not an acceptable way to live, or to treat an animal.

BabloHoney Fri 02-Feb-18 19:21:05

Not fun for you! Could she be depressed maybe? No regard for hygiene, cat not being looked after probably.. could be a sign of depression.

WomanInTheMirrorStaresAtMe Fri 02-Feb-18 19:21:30

First issue is that I cannot imagine the cat is happy living in that state and confined to a room. It needs rehousing, she is obviously not able to care for it.
Second of all, give her notice to leave and get the skank out if your house. That is disgusting!

Snowysky20009 Fri 02-Feb-18 19:21:39

That's just rank!

ferrier Fri 02-Feb-18 19:22:48

You had no choice but to clean the room - it was a health hazard.
I'd be giving her notice.

PaperdollCartoon Fri 02-Feb-18 19:23:05

She needs to go. That’s a horrendous way for anyone to keep a room, let alone a competent adult. Also, keeping a cat in one disgusting room is neglectful. Well done for taking pictures, evidence will help. Tell her you’re giving her one month’s notice.

sonjadog Fri 02-Feb-18 19:26:02

That is completely unacceptable. You really have to ask her to leave. Even if she is a friend and the atmosphere in uncomfortable, you can´t live with someone who treats your home with such disrespect. The cat also should be removed from her, she is maltreating it.

Willow2017 Fri 02-Feb-18 19:26:07

Argh phone.
Out of your house. Thats minging. And charge her for the carpet cleaner (and pissibly new carpet)

Willow2017 Fri 02-Feb-18 19:26:36

Opps pardon the freudian slip😁😁

Glumglowworm Fri 02-Feb-18 19:27:27

Was all prepared to say yes but YANBU

that poor cat! Absolutely right to check on a living creature that you had very good reason to believe was being neglected. And yes to removing disgusting rubbish and cat litter.

Yes you probably should’ve discussed it before now. But being a friend rather than just a lodger makes it harder I know.

Get rid of her. She’s no respect for you or your home.

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