Having worked long full time hours all of my life, last year I changed careers completely which means I am working very part time working from home on a self employed basis.
When I first started it, I loved it..not having the stress of working long hours full time, not having early starts and being away from the house etc. I normally love being at home pottering around and my own company. When I changed jobs I remembered how much I enjoyed being at home on maternity leave so I grabbed the chance to cut my hours right down. It's better paid than my full time job so money is not too much of an issue. I can't say what my job is as its too outing, but I am not allowed to take on another job and due to the nature of the job, I cannot increase my hours.
Now nearly a year in, I feel the novelty has worn off a bit and although I have so much free time to myself, I am bored but feel very unmotivated to do something about the fact I'm bored if you see what I mean.
I'm 45 and feel I have lost my mojo. I don't have any energy anymore, feel lethargic all the time and seem to waste hours procrastinating about all the things I could be doing to fill my time. I have two grown up boys who see to themselves nowadays. Although I get up at 7.30am to chat to my DS15 before he leaves for the school bus at 8am, I even thought about cancelling his bus pass so that I would take him to school every morning just to get me out of the house. Sometimes I can't be bothered to even leave the house, which is not like me. It's now nearly 10am and I'm still in my dressing gown, im just struggling to get the day going, I have a gorgeous dog who I usually love to take out for extra long walks, which I do, but it's a massive effort, and I normally just take the short route.
When I worked full time I went to the gym before I started work at 7.30am so I was in the gym for 5.45am every morning. I look back and feel I had so much more energy.
I don't have any hobbies as such at all. I'm not very creative and very shy around people, so cannot think of anything I could start doing in my free time. Due to constantly moving around the country a lot with DHs job, I don't have many friends in this area other than my sister who I am close to but she works full time, and one very close friend who I meet for coffee once a week. I have a gym membership and once I get into the swing of going, I do enjoy it, but I haven't been since before Xmas.
When I am not working, I don't watch TV during the day as it feels lazy. (even though I could easily put Netflix on and binge watch) But I sit here feeling guilty that I am not being productive and not actually doing much with my time.. And think about the things I should be doing.
DH comes home from work and when he asks what I have done today, I feel boring and lazy if I tell him the truth (not an awful lot - mainly half heartedly cleaning the house or food shopping) as he is never still and wouldn't understand.
I confided in my mum the other day (I meet her once a week) and told her I'm feeling out of sorts. She laughed and said "welcome to retirement!"
Can anyone else relate to this? I take vitamin supplements and have been advised to take vitamin D capsules which I have been taking all winter but don't really feel any different.
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Feeling like I've lost my mojo
26 replies
Crazyladee · 29/01/2018 09:49
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