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To think this a bit off?

(115 Posts)
Busybeesbutt Sat 27-Jan-18 12:00:59

I'm in a friendship group of 3. One of them is getting married soon. I've always considered her a close mate we used to speak every night, I've done her loadsa favours etc. I had started to feel like it was a bit one sided tbh.
Anyway she's having 8 bridesmaids some family, some her partners friends and you've guessed it the other friend out of the 3 but not me. Tactless much?

ScreamingValenta Sat 27-Jan-18 12:06:25

I would be hurt in this situation. I think it confirms your belief that the friendship had become one-sided.

JustVent Sat 27-Jan-18 12:08:50

I had a friendship of three, we were really close and they spent NYE together and didn’t invite me. I was gutted.

There was plenty of people on here to tell me I was being unreasonable to feel anything at all so be warned that you might not get any sympathy.

8 bridesmaids though, what an overkill.

She might give you another job perhaps?

Are you married? Maid of honour?

Busybeesbutt Sat 27-Jan-18 12:14:04

I don't want another job to be honest. I'm married with kids but so are other bridesmaids so it's not that

ChasedByBees Sat 27-Jan-18 12:15:11

Yeah that sucks. I’m sorry. flowers

JustVent Sat 27-Jan-18 12:15:38

When did the other bridesmaids get asked?

JustVent Sat 27-Jan-18 12:16:28

I’ve never been a bridesmaid. 🎻

Busybeesbutt Sat 27-Jan-18 12:16:45

Last weekend. I saw it on social media then she told me the next day hmm

Aquamarine1029 Sat 27-Jan-18 12:16:52

I think it might be that you are her friend but she is not truly your friend. She takes advantage of your kind nature and gives nothing back in return. I'm very sorry and I know exactly how this feels. Perhaps it's time to take a huge step back and end this one-sided "friendship."

LolaTheDarkdestroyer Sat 27-Jan-18 12:18:31

That is deliberate spite to be honest fuck her off.

JustVent Sat 27-Jan-18 12:21:41

That seems very harsh. I’d be pretty gutted.

What will you do?

Busybeesbutt Sat 27-Jan-18 12:25:17

Hold my head high and concentrate on other mates

ItMadeMyEyesWater Sat 27-Jan-18 12:33:31

I've been a bridesmaid twice, and believe me it isn't what it's cracked up to be. You have to wear a dress that looks hideous, and you are continually being told to be careful not to damage it, and could I have it cleaned when I've finished wearing it, as it's being sold after the wedding.

HolyMountain Sat 27-Jan-18 12:36:18

It’s a kick in the teeth , no doubt.

Treat it as bullet dodging and imagine the stress, bitching and moaning you are going to avoid.

Have a bit of a wallow then let it go.

expatinscotland Sat 27-Jan-18 12:37:10

I think I'd start halting the favour train, tbh.

Busybeesbutt Sat 27-Jan-18 12:38:11

Oh the favour train is halted. That's so over no more counselling I've got my own life

Lifeisabeach09 Sat 27-Jan-18 12:41:36

You now grasp that she doesn't rate the friendship the way you do.
Move on and count your blessings you are not a silly fucking bridesmaid.
Arrange to be away the weekend of the wedding.

MotherofaSurvivor Sat 27-Jan-18 12:49:48

You need to let her know how much she's hurt you x

MavisPike Sat 27-Jan-18 12:52:45

I'd be hurt too

expatinscotland Sat 27-Jan-18 12:54:58

Bet she'll invite you on some ridiculously over-priced hen do where you're also expected to pay for her to go. And then just to the poxy evening do with a poem asking you for money.

mimibunz Sat 27-Jan-18 13:01:52

With 8 bridesmaids she will probably end up a nightmare bridezilla. I agree that you’ve dodged a bullet!

JulyAphrodite Sat 27-Jan-18 13:03:33

That is hurtful I would arrange for a mini break away same weekend as wedding

expatinscotland Sat 27-Jan-18 13:11:06

She'll wind up like Gluezilla, trying to get you to do all these shit jobs. Just bounce it back, 'You've got 8 bridesmaids! Ask one of them!' 'But they're busy.' 'So am I. Sorry, I've got too much one for that.'

HolyMountain Sat 27-Jan-18 13:12:00

Yy yo what expat said ^.

Busybeesbutt Sat 27-Jan-18 13:28:29

They are going away for the hen. Guess What? I'm not fucking going

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