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To ask if knowing all you know now - would you still have had dc?

(187 Posts)
RedHareWithBlondeHair Tue 23-Jan-18 21:00:14

I'm basing this on the other thread wrt would you still have married or had a ltr with your dp/dh and the other thread about being happy with your lot. It's made me think and reflect.

But I'd just like to ask - knowing everything you know so far and your life so far would you still have had children knowing everything you do thus far?

I'm in a bit of a difficult position so I'd really welcome any and all opinions. Just for a chat tbh.

Shimshiminysheroo Tue 23-Jan-18 21:04:54

Yes without hesitation. And I find it really fucking hard.

Brakebackcyclebot Tue 23-Jan-18 21:05:38

Yes. But with a different man.

Shimshiminysheroo Tue 23-Jan-18 21:06:49

Sorry to expand... Parenting and being organised and a good cook and cleaner and all of that doesn't come easily to me... I weep with frustration on many days. But without hesitation and without question they are the best thing by far that has ever happened to me

leiaorganashair Tue 23-Jan-18 21:07:00

Yes. I wish I had earlier because DD is going to be an only child at this point, I had her when I was in my 40s. But I didn't leave it that late deliberately. I also wish I had waited for DP because DD's dad is a waste of space, but again I didn't know that at the time.

2birds1chick Tue 23-Jan-18 21:07:12

100% yes. I fought long and hard through 6 years of IVF for my girl, and she's everything I hoped for and more. My life has changed in almost every way since she came along, but the positivity she brings to my life outweighs any difficulties 100%

Shimshiminysheroo Tue 23-Jan-18 21:07:35

Haha OMG totally with different man. Or without a man at all, in all honesty

jimijack Tue 23-Jan-18 21:08:15

Now, I'm older & wiser, yes I would.

However if you'd asked me 10 years ago they'd would have said absolutely no, no way.

TheSockGoblin Tue 23-Jan-18 21:08:19

Yes. 100% - even though it's been hard.

lightcola Tue 23-Jan-18 21:08:30

Yes but I would have done lots differently. Like get married and buy a house first. Had more fun and experienced more before hand. I love my children but I do wish I’d done more with my life before.

RaindropsAndSparkles Tue 23-Jan-18 21:08:35

Yes. My only regret is not beinv brave enough to try for a third after many miscarriages.

GreenSeededGrape Tue 23-Jan-18 21:10:17

Yes. I would have had dd1 at 30 instead of 33. I would have moved home though when I needed the help. Dd1 is now 7 and I'm finding it hard to make the move I so desperately want!

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore Tue 23-Jan-18 21:11:14

I think I would because ds is just the most gorgeous thing in the world. But having him and now being pregnant with dd has messed with my mental health so badly that it's not a totally straightforward 'yes'. I'm hoping that I will come out the other side of this and will one day be able to say 'yes' without hesitation.

AnyFucker Tue 23-Jan-18 21:11:48

Today, no

kaytee87 Tue 23-Jan-18 21:12:49

Yes, I would.

Are you ok though op? Lots of people telling you it's the best thing they've ever done might not help.

Placeboooooooo Tue 23-Jan-18 21:13:20

Definitely, my house always looks like a bombs gone off and I find that hard to deal with but given the chance I would never go back and change a thing.

surlycurly Tue 23-Jan-18 21:13:50

No. confused I love them dearly but my life is so far removed from what I thought it would be that I feel like it's crushing me into the ground. Having Aspergers does influence This though as I'm constantly overwhelmed by having to meet their needs all the time. Fuck that's harsh saying it out loud

StandardRussian66 Tue 23-Jan-18 21:14:14

No I wouldn’t.

CheeseGirl4 Tue 23-Jan-18 21:14:57

I know you didn't ask this, but as someone who DIDN'T have children and no longer could if I wanted to, I don't regret it.

Anymajordude Tue 23-Jan-18 21:15:16

I'd have had them when I was younger and I'd have bought a house younger too when they were cheaper.

Trashboat Tue 23-Jan-18 21:15:38

Definitely yes. We opted for one and 9 years later, we have no regrets and if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't change a thing.

BarryTheKestrel Tue 23-Jan-18 21:15:58

Yes but I would have sorted our finances out first. It's been a struggle. More of a struggle than it should have been.

incogKNEEto Tue 23-Jan-18 21:16:06


MumW Tue 23-Jan-18 21:17:15

100% yes. But...
I wouldn't have been ill so the gap between DC was smaller so I had less time out of the workplace so I wouldn't be sat at home now because I'm either over qualified for jobs or not got recent enough experience/out of date for jobs using my qualifications.

AnyFucker Tue 23-Jan-18 21:18:12

When they were still babies, toddlers, young chidren....yes

Now they are young, it's fucking aging me and it's terrifying

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