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AIBU?

Are we being unreasonable or are neighbors?

44 replies

RogueRebel · 23/01/2018 20:11

DP has asked me to post this because he thinks we aren't and I just want a quiet life.
It's a long one as I don't want to drip feed.

I moved into my house (council tenant) 6 years ago. I keep myself to myself as best I can, say a polite hello in passing.
Couple live next door (couple A)homeowners, who have been doing up their house the whole time I have lived here, so I have heard the usual sounds that go alone with this. Not a problem at all for me.

About 2 years into living here I passed my driving test and got a car. It is roadside parking for me and a few houses while the rest have drives. (Couple A are roadside parking too) I quickly learned people get funny about parking! Couple A like to park their car right outside their gate and had got used to having an extra space for visitors outside my house. The lady opposite (lady B) is home all day and watches out of her bedroom window 90% of the time shouting to passers by and asking questions etc. If I couldn't park outside my house and tried to park outside her house (Lady B has a drive and doesn't own a car) legally away from her dropped curb, she would shout out of the window that she is disabled and needs the space directly outside her house free of cars. I would then move 5 houses down to another house with a drive and park legally outside their house with no problems. I did this twice before realizing it's not worth the trouble to park outside Lady B's at all. It upset my mum because that forced me to walk 5 houses to my house with two children under 6 leave them in the house alone and walk back to get shopping etc or leave them in the car and take shopping first. But as I told my mum no one owns the road it's pot luck with parking and to be honest it's not worth falling out with the neighbors about. I would even go as far as to ask any visitors to my house to park up the road and not to park in front of Couple A or Lady B's houses.

2 years ago my partner moved in with me and my two children.
We both had cars I explained to DP about parking and although he was confused as to how anyone including visitors to A & B could park outside our house while we couldn't get whatever parking was available on the road if it was free. I explained I like a quiet life it's not worth it for a 5min walk etc kids are older and can get out of the car on their own so it's not a problem.
We havent had any problems until about 6 months ago after DP had parked outside our house and as he was at our door getting his keys ready Couple A walked into their front garden with the male saying "if that ginger c* parks near me again I will spark him out" the Female was trying to shsss him and at that point they saw DP through the bush. And quickly entered their house.
DP found it funny and a bit weird, I was upset that obviously they were unhappy with us. I asked again that we are very careful with our parking and to make sure if we park outside our house that we don't go past the lamppost and not to provoke the neighbors. DP although unhappy that we are "pandering" to Couple A has done as asked to keep me happy.
We haven't spoken to them since and have gone down to one car between us.

Beginning of Jan I decided I wanted to finally get the house up together as I haven't decorated at all since being here. We have decided on a design and DP started putting a wooden wall up that we found on Pinterest. It is on the wall shared with couple A. We didn't think to much of the noise as couple A were banging all weekend doing work to their house. Nothing unusual for them.
At 3:15 while I was on the school run DP had a knock at the door from couple A they were both very aggressive effing and threatening to knock DP out because of the noise. DP pointed out that they had been banging a lot over the years and most recently the weekend and that we had ignored it. They then defended themselves by saying it's because they are bettering their house. DP explained he was decorating and doing the same. They continued to act aggressively and somehow DP found out their son (18months) was ill and trying to sleep. DP apologized and explained he couldn't have known that but if they had told him straight away he would have stopped work, he promised to stop work for the rest of the day but told them he would continue tomorrow. They weren't happy and more threats were made towards DP.

I've now had to phone the council to let them know what's happened and the council have asked if I'd like to make a complaint and open a case due to the aggressiveness of the interaction. I've said no as I don't want to escalate the situation. The council have confirmed I am allowed to decorate my house and have given me the times it is acceptable to work between during the day. Which we were already doing. They have made a note on my file in case the situation becomes heated again and more action is needed.

I'm now sat here upset that doing something to make me feel proud of my house has caused the horrible feeling of walking out of my front door in case anything kicks off. AIBU? Should I stop decorating and doing a job that will take 2days to complete? Working from 10-430.
DP is trying to convince me we've done nothing wrong?

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LittleFeileFooFoo · 23/01/2018 20:17

Yanbu, they sound awful. Park where you are comfortable, if that is in front of your house our else where.
Report then if they are aggressive.

What horrible people! I love red hair, my ds and dh are red heads. It makes me sad anyone would use that as a pejorative!