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AIBU?

About Nursery Hours?

84 replies

Teawithtoast · 23/01/2018 18:35

I'm going back to work soon. Part time, three days a week. I've found a really lovely nursery, but having read another thread, it's clear that long days at nursery are considered by quite a few to be unreasonable for babies. Given the hours I am expected to work, it is unreasonable to put an 11 month in nursery from 07.30 - 18.00 three days a week? If so, what else can I consider? (family providing childcare is not a option, neither is cutting back on my working days/hours sadly).

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Chienrouge · 23/01/2018 18:36

Many babies go to nursery for this sort of hours and are absolutely fine. Don’t worry about it.
The alternatives would be a childminder or nanny.

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Allthewaves · 23/01/2018 18:38

You just get the mumsnet saints that don't need childcare hammering working mums who need to use daycare for those hours. Mine went 7.30-6 x3 days a week as I had to work. Do what's best for you

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Chienrouge · 23/01/2018 18:40

Just to point out I’m a SAHM and didn’t need childcare but wouldn’t dream of hammering anyone. You do what’s best for you as a family. Many of my friends children are in full time nursery and are all thriving.

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hidinginthenightgarden · 23/01/2018 18:41

You are doing your best. If this is your only option then it is just fine. My son really benefited from nursery. He thrived so much more than he would have stuck at home with me!

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NarNooNarNoo · 23/01/2018 18:42

My 1 year old did 0800-1800 two days a week and has been absolutely fine (he’s two now) - it’s pretty common at our nursery for the long days with working parent/s.

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Gillian1980 · 23/01/2018 18:43

Yanbu.

Dd has been in 8-6, 3 days a week since 11 months. She’s fine 😊

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BrutusMcDogface · 23/01/2018 18:43

Personally I'd rather a childminder for a baby of that age, for that many hours a day, but that's just my opinion and doesn't mean that your child wouldn't thrive at a good nursery. When mine were older (2-3), they went to nursery for three long days like you're describing and it was horrible for many reasons but colleagues of mine did the same with no issues.

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Kraggle · 23/01/2018 18:43

My ten month old has just started doing 8-5.30 2 days a week and is managing brilliantly, much better than I expected.

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BrutusMcDogface · 23/01/2018 18:44

I hope that doesn't sound too negative!! Maybe we didn't have the best nursery to suit our children.

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Twogoround · 23/01/2018 18:45

I think what other thread was trying to say if you don't have to put them nursery for long hours( the dad in other thread could pick up much earler ) if you have to you have too . Lots of people have too with compute to work traffic and long hours you have work.

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Iworrytoomuchh · 23/01/2018 18:45

My first was in childcare 8-6 3 days a week from 9 months old, moving to 8-6 5 days a week from 15 months. She absolutely thrived in every aspect. Was the happiest, chattiest, most secure child I’d ever met. People did openly judge me for my decision (I didn’t have a choice anyway) but looking back, all the guilt I felt was unjustified and I don’t regret it at all.
We used a childminder for bits of it though which was amazing and I’d highly recommend looking into one. You do what’s best for you, I’m sure your DC will love it.

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nippey · 23/01/2018 18:45

My DD did 7am - 5pm 5 days a week from 6 months old. She loves Nursery and all of the guilt I felt initially has disappeared, you have to do what you need to do and I needed to work to keep our house!

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Hanuman · 23/01/2018 18:46

We stagger our hours so that one of us drops off and the other picks up and our DS can do 9:30 to 4:30. He is really tired just doing that but he doesn't nap well at nursery. Can your DH or DP do some pick ups or drop offs to reduce the length of the day a bit?

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divadee · 23/01/2018 18:46

My nearly 1 year old started childcare last September when she was 8 months old. She does 8.30-4 5 days a week. She absolutely loves it. I have no choice but to work and to be honest they do a lot more than I would ever do with her at home.

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Blankiefan · 23/01/2018 18:46

My dd was doing 8-6 x 5 days per week from being six months old. She is 4 now and in no way scarred.

She formed excellent relationships with the staff and was clearly happy to be there; stretching out of my arms to theirs in the mornings at drop off

Our bond hasn't suffered either. If I'd been stuck at home with her, that's have been a different matter entirely as I'd have been miserable and she wouldn't have had half the experiences &- stretching play.

Don't feel bad about it.

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SellFridges · 23/01/2018 18:47

Ours have done 8-5:30 ish since they were 10 months. Full time. It’s totally normal.

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Commuterface · 23/01/2018 18:48

Both of my DDs did/do these hours, three consecutive days a week. They are both totally fine. The eldest settled into the school routine, when she started in reception, really quickly and the youngest (she is 4 now) absolutely loves nursery. Both started at 12 months.

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user1488622199 · 23/01/2018 18:48

My son went to nursery at 11 months from 8 to 6 three days a week (although initially we were usually able pick him up a bit early). It was tough at first but he is thriving now 2 months later. You have to do what’s best for your circumstances.

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MissT84 · 23/01/2018 18:49

I worked in a day nursery pre-children and often saw babies that age do those hours....some did them 5 days a week.
I still see 2 of them and they're 15yrs+ now.

There is ALWAYS going to be people who don't agree with your childcare arrangements.... heck I was lucky enough to be a sahm and I had people asking when I was putting dc in nursery so they wouldn't be too clingy and would settle at school better.

Do what is best for you, I can assure you your dc will be given love and attention, they will make friends, do lots of fun activities you probably wouldnt do at home (think huge painting on the floor where they end up literally covered and love it, or gloopy cornflour or playing with jelly/spaghetti...all the slimey yucky stuff but so much fun to play with and great for investigating textures)

other options would be childminder or nanny

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Jammysod · 23/01/2018 18:50

DS has done x3 days a week, 7:30-5:30 since he was 10month (3 now). He's thrived and absolutely loves it! He has lots of friends & surprises me every day with things he's learnt. We're lucky that our nursery is amazing & he has such a good relationship with the teachers.

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80sMum · 23/01/2018 18:50

All 3 of my granddaughters started at nursery when just under a year old, when their mums returned to work after maternity leave. Two of them were in full time, 5 days a week from the off. All of them soon settled in and absolutely loved their time in nursery. Children are very adaptable and nurseries provide a rich environment in which most seem to thrive.

There's no reason to suppose that your little one will be any different, OP.

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Unihorn · 23/01/2018 18:51

Mine started 1 full day 8-5.30 at 12 months. It's taken her about 6 weeks to get used to it because it's more infrequent than most, but now there are far fewer tears. As others have said, it's not bad for them and you shouldn't feel guilty as many have to do it. However I found it quite difficult starting mine at that age as she had just developed a much stronger attachment to me. Babies who attend from 6 months or so probably adapt a bit easier.

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Froggyonaplate · 23/01/2018 18:53

Your baby will be fine, honestly, mine went two days a week at that age and loved it. I think the situation you're thinking of is that a parent could collect a child at 2.30 but is choosing not to. That's why some parents are quite anti.

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Shelby2010 · 23/01/2018 18:54

Your baby will be fine. It’s no longer than a day at home because they still get their usual naps. They may be slightly more tired because of the extra stimulation but that just means they’ll sleep better at night! The main problem is them falling asleep in the car on the way home & upsetting their bedtime, but that’s likely wherever you leave them.

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Teawithtoast · 23/01/2018 18:55

Good guess on the thread Twogoround!

Thank you. These responses are making me feel much more comfortable.

Very new to all this, but a childminder would care for more than one child, wouldn't they? So if the ratio of children to a childminder is the same as that of the ratio of children to a nursery worker, what is the benefit of a childminder over a nursery?

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