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To think ex shouldn't take this job in a school the dc will attend?

(36 Posts)
theduchessstill Mon 22-Jan-18 21:51:59

He works through an agency as a cover supervisor in schools. Ds1 will go up to the secondary school in September and told me recently that ex sometimes works there. I thought it wasn't ideal really, but didn't give it much thought. However, I am a teacher and since then a new member of staff in my department who used to work where ex now works has told me that he falls asleep in lessons. I felt ashamed when she told me (fuck knows why - I'm not married to him anymore) so I can't imagine how embarrassed the dc will be if he carries on like that when they are there. Apparently the kids think it hilarious and like him as they can do what they want, but I think our dc will get stick for this.

What can I do ? Obviously IWBU to tell him not to work there (he struggles for money and regular work) and, yes, he has a health condition that makes him tired (though doesn't stop him doing late night gigs, but I get that it's relatively easy to fall asleep when you're just sitting at a desk) but I feel he should do everything in his power to stop this from happening for the sake of his dc. What can I do ? I feel our dc have enough to contend with and don't need this.

CremeBrulee Mon 22-Jan-18 21:54:55

I don't understand the problem. Is the ex your DCs father? Are they not supposed to have contact?

Pearpink70 Mon 22-Jan-18 21:56:55

Is he working at the secondary school or primary? You say dc is leaving soon? So he won't be at his school is they right?

Leeds2 Mon 22-Jan-18 21:57:41

If he is falling asleep in lessons, when he is meant to be teaching, I doubt he will be asked back again soon.
I do feel sorry for your DC though, although not sure there is much you can do about it.

theduchessstill Mon 22-Jan-18 21:59:18

The problem is he falls asleep while covering lessons and, as everyone will know he is their dad, I think the dc will get teased as a result. Even if they don't, they will feel embarrassed and a bit ashamed of him and that won't be nice.

He works on a temporary basis at the secondary which ds1 will attend from September.

Sorry, I though OP was clearer than it obviously was!

frozenlake Mon 22-Jan-18 22:00:01

You really don't need to get involved in this. His DC are going to be teenagers soon by the sounds of it and if it wasn't that embarrassing them it would be something else that he did. Is it great no but on the scale of childhood trauma I reckon it ranks quite low.

RoseRuby26 Mon 22-Jan-18 22:00:43

I'd see what he says if you ask if he plans to work there when the children attend the school. He might have already considered it a problem. Massive generalisation but kids always treat cover lessons as a bit of a break don't they? Might be fine.

saladdays66 Mon 22-Jan-18 22:01:19

Well, if he falls asleep while covering lessons, he won’t get asked back so your dc won’t see him at school.

theduchessstill Mon 22-Jan-18 22:03:34

I thought he wouldn't get asked back - colleague was there during the summer term - but last week ds1 told me he had been back there last week. Perhaps they are desperate...

Pearpink70 Mon 22-Jan-18 22:04:48

Agh I totally get you. I would feel the same, it's not nice for dc. Could you speak to him about it? Tell him to give the one their school a pass?

rainbownights Mon 22-Jan-18 22:06:22

Life lesson to be learned here. If the teasing gets a reaction, it will be done more. Advise your children to treat it as nothing (Kid: "Your dad fell asleep in class!" DC: "Yeah, he does that") and chances are they'll move on.
But I doubt your ex will be working here long when he gets found out.

SuperBeagle Mon 22-Jan-18 22:06:43

I'm sure if your children have a real issue with him working there, they will talk to him about it themselves. Your DS1, at least, is old enough to tell his father if he's got a problem with it.

theduchessstill Mon 22-Jan-18 22:09:42

There is no way ds1 would tell him he didn't want him working there. He would tell me, but not ex.

NewYearNewMe18 Mon 22-Jan-18 22:14:14

I really think you shouldn't interfere. You are making issues where none exist. I've always working in schools where there have been parent-teachers and it has never impacted on the pupil.

NewYearNewMe18 Mon 22-Jan-18 22:15:10

BTW - your staff member who gossips - watch him/her - we all know what staff rooms are like

loveheartsandchoc Mon 22-Jan-18 22:18:15

I don't think it's any of your business to be honest. It's his life and choice of employment. You are not in a relationship and don't get to tell him where he can or cannot work or comment on him falling asleep at work. This is not your place.
If he is that incompetent (doubt it since he has been asked back) he will get fired. I doubt you would like it if he tried to find out how competent you were at work and suggest that you quit...
Plus when you work through an agency you don't really get much choice you just have to go for the work you get. Surely instead of being embarrassed the DC should be happy that he has a job and is not unemployed? Especially given his health condition and struggle to find work.

Mrsmadevans Mon 22-Jan-18 22:32:42

I don't think you DC will get flak over your EX working in the same school. I mean if he is supply there then he won't be there all the time and even when he is there he wont be allowed to teach his own DC will he?

QuackPorridgeBacon Mon 22-Jan-18 23:52:13

I think you could make it an issue. If he sleeps in class then the kids will find that funny and or cool, I don’t think your son will get stick for it and, if he does then he should respond as pp mentioned above. The kids won’t get a ride and will back off. If he gets tired from a medical condition then I don’t think it’s his fault and he is still being hired so obviously not an issue. Stay out of it and don’t make it a problem for your child.

Mxyzptlk Mon 22-Jan-18 23:57:17

Am I missing something or are people actually okay with the idea of a teacher/supervisor tapping out during lessons and leaving kids to their own devices?

Witchend Mon 22-Jan-18 23:57:26

If you're getting gossip about your ex, do keep in mind they'll probably be free mg gossip about you back.

Mxyzptlk Mon 22-Jan-18 23:58:57

If you are in contact with ex, OP, maybe you could say you heard about the sleeping and you are worried he'd lose his job if he keeps doing it.

Pinga Tue 23-Jan-18 00:06:09

Having a parent work in your is rarely fun ime. Especially at secondary level. Even more so if he has a habit of being so unprofessional as to fall asleep in lessons.
I would have a word with him and ask him to reconsider. There are other schools he could work at and fall asleep in lesson time. He doesnt need to do that in the school his own kids attend. And obviously shouldnt do it at all.

Ellisandra Tue 23-Jan-18 00:14:04

The school have had him back, so I'm inclined to think that it was a single incident that Little Miss Gossip was spreading.

I once fell asleep during a meeting at work. It was all day and an airless room. I hadn't slept well the night before - not because I was out, just random. At one point, I did that sudden wake up thing - head jolt as you momentarily drop off - looked round, and was relieved no-one notice. Actually I same level colleague (also a friend) had - and teased me later.

I am not a bad employee. I've seen it happen to other people. I suspect that's all that happened to your XH.

If other kids mention it, well - if it wasn't that, it would be the shorts he wears. Or the lesson (cover) style. Or his hair. Anything.

Let it go, and give the Gossip a wide berth.

QuackPorridgeBacon Tue 23-Jan-18 00:20:49

Pinga He’s getting work through an agency and hasn’t much money as it is. I’m not sure he is in a position to give up a job just because his child will be there. He also has a health condition that causes him to be tired. I may be biased here but my daughter has a condition that makes her tired and I wouldn’t appreciate gossp about her if she happened to fall asleep one day when she is older. We don’t even know how true it is. Since he has been back I doubt there was as big an issue as made out.

highinthesky Tue 23-Jan-18 00:34:02

Let sleeping dogs lie....

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