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Step monsters... I mean children

(155 Posts)
Mellie1025 Mon 22-Jan-18 17:14:01

I'm at the end of my very long rope and I'm not sure what to do about it.

I have a step child who's life I have been actively involved with for four years now. She was four when her dad and I got into a serious relationship. We've all lived under one roof now for two year. When I say all it's me, my partner, my daughter who's 15 and this child (50 percent of the time). She's an incredible jealous child who comes by it honestly because her mother is raising her to be hateful and rude.

We have been through it all with this kid. From her lying, to stealing and hiding stuff to her mother calling childrens services and having them come into our home and ask questions about our sex life. This past weekend was the last straw from me. She was in the bathroom having a shower and she broke the holder we use for our tooth brushes... Came from the dollar store, it wasn't a big deal... Instead of her just telling her dad it got broken and moving with life, she blamed me... I wasn't even in the same room. Daddy dearest believed her and it caused a HUGE blow out. I know it's not all her fault, and the adults in her life need to start taking control and teaching her right from wrong.

I love my partner dearly and the 50 percent of the time she's not with us we have a wonderful life and get along famously. I'm considering not being there when he has his daughter over just to avoid fighting and arguing.

I need advise badly.

Pengggwn Mon 22-Jan-18 17:15:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

etap Mon 22-Jan-18 17:17:09

the adults in her life need to start taking control and teaching her right from wrong.

You're one of them smile

Cheby Mon 22-Jan-18 17:17:52

Buckle up OP, it’s going to be an interesting ride with that thread title!

Your situation does sound difficult; what is your DP’s view on the situation? Did you resolve the toothbrush holder issue?

Allthebestnamesareused Mon 22-Jan-18 17:19:04

"monster" "this kid" hmm

Perhaps she doesn't feel wanted or loved when she stays over so acts up. Just guessing!

EatTheChocolateTeapot Mon 22-Jan-18 17:19:47

I think the problem is your partner not believing you and making a scene, you could have talk about it later on between adults.

Mellie1025 Mon 22-Jan-18 17:19:56

etap - yes I am one of the adults but do not take part in the discipline as her mother does not allow it.

Pengggwn - She comes by it honestly means her mother is a lying cheating sneaky person who will do whatever it takes to get her own way. She got pregnant by a 76 year old millionaire so she could get his money.

Pengggwn Mon 22-Jan-18 17:21:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mellie1025 Mon 22-Jan-18 17:22:07

my partner still allows his ex to have too much control over our lives. He needs to stand up to this woman.

The toothbush holder situation ended with him having to clean up the mess and realizing i was no where near the washroom when it happened.

PickleSarnie Mon 22-Jan-18 17:22:16

She's 8. And you're calling her a monster?!

stopbeingadramallama Mon 22-Jan-18 17:22:35

You sound quite nasty.

MrsMaxwell Mon 22-Jan-18 17:22:50

Hmm - good luck with this op flowers

NewYearNiki Mon 22-Jan-18 17:23:05

Are you from the US?

You refer to dollar store.

Dissing women and step children there might be acceptable (I dont know) but you are about to get your arse handed to you on a platter.

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree Mon 22-Jan-18 17:23:15

No idea why a cheap dollar store holder would cause a huge blow out. Sounds like a massive overreaction.

Some children are hard work. Children who have to spend time away from both their parents will have stuff to work through. Because they’re children, they don’t work through it like adults. It manifests itself in behaviour. TBH I would have just laughed it off when she accused you and said “don’t be silly, I wasn’t there. It probably just got broken by accident” instead of making it a big deal. Ignore the bad, love bomb when you can.

Pengggwn Mon 22-Jan-18 17:23:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mellie1025 Mon 22-Jan-18 17:23:36

Pengggwn - she's jealous because my daughter and I live in the house full time and she doesn't. I'm sure when she's 12 (legal age here to decide) she'll want to live with us full time.

DeStijl Mon 22-Jan-18 17:24:15

I think you need Maury or Dr Phil.

Pengggwn Mon 22-Jan-18 17:24:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bluelady Mon 22-Jan-18 17:24:49

Difficult to work out who the child is here.

Mellie1025 Mon 22-Jan-18 17:25:25

NewYearNiki - dissing women? What are you talking about?

Notasperfectasallothermners Mon 22-Jan-18 17:25:49

Ime no shame in admitting step parenting isn't for you.
If your man won't stand by you then you need to walk away.
Montsters always win.
When my marriage ended (he was a thief it turned out) I was ecstatic I would no longer have to deal with the ex or the monster.

Heartoffire Mon 22-Jan-18 17:26:03

Pehaos she thinks you are scary she was afraid to own up.

You sound scary and hateful to her mother.

livefornaps Mon 22-Jan-18 17:26:38

You're taking the actions of an eight year old personally....!

You are positively spitting venom.

She will KNOW that you prefer life without her around, the poor wee mite.

You shouldn't have started living together if this was going to be your attitude... You signed up for family life, which means all of it!

lookingforthecorkscrew Mon 22-Jan-18 17:26:47

Jesus, this poor kid. 8 years old is so so young.

NewYearNiki Mon 22-Jan-18 17:26:51

Dissing women:

her mother is a lying cheating sneaky person who will do whatever it takes to get her own way. She got pregnant by a 76 year old millionaire so she could get his money.

There you go.

How nasty

I guess your darling husband is an angel whom she was also really nasty to?

Yah yah heard it all before. It's all the woman's fault

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