I'm at the end of my very long rope and I'm not sure what to do about it.
I have a step child who's life I have been actively involved with for four years now. She was four when her dad and I got into a serious relationship. We've all lived under one roof now for two year. When I say all it's me, my partner, my daughter who's 15 and this child (50 percent of the time). She's an incredible jealous child who comes by it honestly because her mother is raising her to be hateful and rude.
We have been through it all with this kid. From her lying, to stealing and hiding stuff to her mother calling childrens services and having them come into our home and ask questions about our sex life. This past weekend was the last straw from me. She was in the bathroom having a shower and she broke the holder we use for our tooth brushes... Came from the dollar store, it wasn't a big deal... Instead of her just telling her dad it got broken and moving with life, she blamed me... I wasn't even in the same room. Daddy dearest believed her and it caused a HUGE blow out. I know it's not all her fault, and the adults in her life need to start taking control and teaching her right from wrong.
I love my partner dearly and the 50 percent of the time she's not with us we have a wonderful life and get along famously. I'm considering not being there when he has his daughter over just to avoid fighting and arguing.
etap - yes I am one of the adults but do not take part in the discipline as her mother does not allow it.
Pengggwn - She comes by it honestly means her mother is a lying cheating sneaky person who will do whatever it takes to get her own way. She got pregnant by a 76 year old millionaire so she could get his money.
No idea why a cheap dollar store holder would cause a huge blow out. Sounds like a massive overreaction.
Some children are hard work. Children who have to spend time away from both their parents will have stuff to work through. Because they’re children, they don’t work through it like adults. It manifests itself in behaviour. TBH I would have just laughed it off when she accused you and said “don’t be silly, I wasn’t there. It probably just got broken by accident” instead of making it a big deal. Ignore the bad, love bomb when you can.
Ime no shame in admitting step parenting isn't for you. If your man won't stand by you then you need to walk away. Montsters always win. When my marriage ended (he was a thief it turned out) I was ecstatic I would no longer have to deal with the ex or the monster.