My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To think this is weird and to ask them not to do it

32 replies

Jacketornot · 22/01/2018 15:16

I have a younger sibling (21) who still lives at home. DM and I message on WhatsApp quite regularly. Sometimes, I'll get a reply that is written in the first person as though it is my DM (e.g. "Yes ok jacket I'll do that, thanks, love you") but it's actually Dsib writing it. DM knows Dsib is writing it, usually it's if she is driving or something but wants to reply quickly. I think it's weird not to just preface the message with "it's Dsib here, DM driving but she asked me to say etc..."

I don't really like not being sure who I'm talking to. I have said this and they think I am the one being weird and unreasonable.

Aibu or are they?

OP posts:
Report
WhatCanIDoNowPlease · 22/01/2018 15:17

I have a friends whose husband replies on social media in her name. It's bloody weird.

Report
MrsMaxwell · 22/01/2018 15:18

My husband does this to me - pisses me off.

Report
user1493413286 · 22/01/2018 15:19

Unless it’s about something sensitive I don’t really see the issue; I do that a lot for DP when he’s driving although it’s usually something about arrangements for something etc rather than a response to anyone about anything sensitive.

Report
RatherBeRiding · 22/01/2018 15:20

I don't think it's weird is the reply has been dictated by the person driving the car. I do this sometimes when DD is in car with me - get her to reply but dictate the reply.

Report
CremeFresh · 22/01/2018 15:22

If I get a message while I'm driving , I ask my DD to see who it is and if it needs a reply , I get her to text it. She doesn't say it's her texting because I tell her what to type, so it is me talking, just not typing the words.

Report
theForeigner · 22/01/2018 15:23

If it's a dictation on a boring topic then I don't see the problem.

Report
MrsHathaway · 22/01/2018 15:25

Yeah, we always say if someone else is typing.

A more typical example is where I send "following is DC2 - keep it SFW!!" then the 6yo v e r y slowly and laboriously sends "I love you daddy and I love you very much".

Report
DGRossetti · 22/01/2018 15:32

Are they sharing a single account ?

Report
Trinity66 · 22/01/2018 15:33

I've done it for my husband when he's driving, but I'm just typing his actual reply so don't see the problem?

Report
Jacketornot · 22/01/2018 15:34

I guess I wouldn't care if it was something like "10 mins away" or similar - I've probably done that. But it's not it's in the middle of back and forth conversations, DM tends to send long in depth chatty messages. And they aren't dictated as they aren't worded how DM would.

OP posts:
Report
Jacketornot · 22/01/2018 15:35

No they have their own phones.

They are together 24/7 though.

OP posts:
Report
SoupDragon · 22/01/2018 15:36

DD does this for me if I’m driving. She’s 11, it’s usually obvious as there tend to be unicorn emojis involved.

I don’t see the problem though - is it really any different to using the speech to type option apart from being somewhat more accurate? Presumably the words were actually said by your mother.

Report
DearMrDilkington · 22/01/2018 15:38

Mrs what does SFW mean? Its probably really obvious but I'm having an off day Blush

Report
MrsHathaway · 22/01/2018 15:40

NSFW means "not safe for work" ie adult themes, images or language.

SFW is the opposite, ie clean enough for a child to read.

Report
EngagedWithALeaf · 22/01/2018 15:41

Dear it literally means “suitable for work” - i.e clean, non-sweary, etc!

Report
Didntcomeheretofuckspiders · 22/01/2018 15:50

Do this for DP if he’s driving and vice versa all the time! My mum can always tell it’s him because he can’t resist being cheeky. I usually type what I’m told to word for word so it goes unnoticed.

Report
longtompot · 22/01/2018 15:59

I do this for my dh if he is driving and its a work related message. He will dictate what needs to be said.
But, if it were my sister writing as if it were our mum, then yes that would be a bit odd. What if you were asking your mum something privately which you didn't want your sister to know about yet, or ever? Can you ask her to say when she answers the messages?

Report
Bellamuerte · 22/01/2018 16:01

I don't see the issue if the person is typing out what the phone owner said (usually because they're driving).

Report
BullshitSandwich · 22/01/2018 16:06

I know if I text my brothers phone his wife will sometimes reply as if it's him, sometimes I know he's at work and she's replying from his iPad at home and he's not even there to have any input in the message!
I know it's her as she will use terminology that you know he wouldn't use plus he never puts kisses on texts and she will.
I've just grown used to it now but it irked me at first.

Report
Jayne35 · 22/01/2018 16:11

I do it for DH when he is driving and DD does the same for me so I can't see an issue with it, though once I accidentally put xx on a text to DH's friend - who was a bit Confused about it Grin

Report
lynmilne65 · 22/01/2018 16:22

I leave phone at home
Nothing is that urgent
Can anyone remember pre mobile phone days??

Report
BertieBotts · 22/01/2018 16:23

No, it's weird to spend the extra time typing out "BTW, this is X, Y asked me to say..."

If it ever becomes awkward then I'd say "Sorry this is X, Y can't come to the phone".

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

f83mx · 22/01/2018 16:26

I think its fine if its like a couple of lines dictated from the person's own mouth - bit different if he was masquerading as your mum and having a conversation with you of course!

Report
Jacketornot · 22/01/2018 16:32

Yeah it's the masquerading as DM and trying to sound like her but not quite managing it that's weird. The liberal use of "I". It's more than just a short confirmation response although my initial post didn't make that clear.

It's also in the context of a general lack of boundaries and sense that we are both just extensions of DM. I know she wouldn't like it if DH replied to her messages as me. Also I have said I don't really like it but they still do it. They are very much unit. I never see one without the other. However it seems it's quite common and not a big deal, so I guess it's just me. I don't think it's fair to get irritated with me for not liking it though, which they have.
Thanks for responses

OP posts:
Report
crrrzy · 22/01/2018 16:45

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for privacy reasons.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.