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To think this is weird and to ask them not to do it

(33 Posts)
Jacketornot Mon 22-Jan-18 15:16:28

I have a younger sibling (21) who still lives at home. DM and I message on WhatsApp quite regularly. Sometimes, I'll get a reply that is written in the first person as though it is my DM (e.g. "Yes ok jacket I'll do that, thanks, love you") but it's actually Dsib writing it. DM knows Dsib is writing it, usually it's if she is driving or something but wants to reply quickly. I think it's weird not to just preface the message with "it's Dsib here, DM driving but she asked me to say etc..."

I don't really like not being sure who I'm talking to. I have said this and they think I am the one being weird and unreasonable.

Aibu or are they?

WhatCanIDoNowPlease Mon 22-Jan-18 15:17:44

I have a friends whose husband replies on social media in her name. It's bloody weird.

MrsMaxwell Mon 22-Jan-18 15:18:51

My husband does this to me - pisses me off.

user1493413286 Mon 22-Jan-18 15:19:45

Unless it’s about something sensitive I don’t really see the issue; I do that a lot for DP when he’s driving although it’s usually something about arrangements for something etc rather than a response to anyone about anything sensitive.

RatherBeRiding Mon 22-Jan-18 15:20:07

I don't think it's weird is the reply has been dictated by the person driving the car. I do this sometimes when DD is in car with me - get her to reply but dictate the reply.

CremeFresh Mon 22-Jan-18 15:22:11

If I get a message while I'm driving , I ask my DD to see who it is and if it needs a reply , I get her to text it. She doesn't say it's her texting because I tell her what to type, so it is me talking, just not typing the words.

theForeigner Mon 22-Jan-18 15:23:29

If it's a dictation on a boring topic then I don't see the problem.

MrsHathaway Mon 22-Jan-18 15:25:52

Yeah, we always say if someone else is typing.

A more typical example is where I send "following is DC2 - keep it SFW!!" then the 6yo v e r y slowly and laboriously sends "I love you daddy and I love you very much".

DGRossetti Mon 22-Jan-18 15:32:54

Are they sharing a single account ?

Trinity66 Mon 22-Jan-18 15:33:24

I've done it for my husband when he's driving, but I'm just typing his actual reply so don't see the problem?

Jacketornot Mon 22-Jan-18 15:34:39

I guess I wouldn't care if it was something like "10 mins away" or similar - I've probably done that. But it's not it's in the middle of back and forth conversations, DM tends to send long in depth chatty messages. And they aren't dictated as they aren't worded how DM would.

Jacketornot Mon 22-Jan-18 15:35:30

No they have their own phones.

They are together 24/7 though.

SoupDragon Mon 22-Jan-18 15:36:26

DD does this for me if I’m driving. She’s 11, it’s usually obvious as there tend to be unicorn emojis involved.

I don’t see the problem though - is it really any different to using the speech to type option apart from being somewhat more accurate? Presumably the words were actually said by your mother.

DearMrDilkington Mon 22-Jan-18 15:38:32

Mrs what does SFW mean? Its probably really obvious but I'm having an off day blush

MrsHathaway Mon 22-Jan-18 15:40:18

NSFW means "not safe for work" ie adult themes, images or language.

SFW is the opposite, ie clean enough for a child to read.

EngagedWithALeaf Mon 22-Jan-18 15:41:29

Dear it literally means “suitable for work” - i.e clean, non-sweary, etc!

Didntcomeheretofuckspiders Mon 22-Jan-18 15:50:58

Do this for DP if he’s driving and vice versa all the time! My mum can always tell it’s him because he can’t resist being cheeky. I usually type what I’m told to word for word so it goes unnoticed.

longtompot Mon 22-Jan-18 15:59:05

I do this for my dh if he is driving and its a work related message. He will dictate what needs to be said.
But, if it were my sister writing as if it were our mum, then yes that would be a bit odd. What if you were asking your mum something privately which you didn't want your sister to know about yet, or ever? Can you ask her to say when she answers the messages?

Bellamuerte Mon 22-Jan-18 16:01:13

I don't see the issue if the person is typing out what the phone owner said (usually because they're driving).

BullshitSandwich Mon 22-Jan-18 16:06:02

I know if I text my brothers phone his wife will sometimes reply as if it's him, sometimes I know he's at work and she's replying from his iPad at home and he's not even there to have any input in the message!
I know it's her as she will use terminology that you know he wouldn't use plus he never puts kisses on texts and she will.
I've just grown used to it now but it irked me at first.

Jayne35 Mon 22-Jan-18 16:11:03

I do it for DH when he is driving and DD does the same for me so I can't see an issue with it, though once I accidentally put xx on a text to DH's friend - who was a bit confused about it grin

lynmilne65 Mon 22-Jan-18 16:22:37

I leave phone at home
Nothing is that urgent
Can anyone remember pre mobile phone days??

BertieBotts Mon 22-Jan-18 16:23:59

No, it's weird to spend the extra time typing out "BTW, this is X, Y asked me to say..."

If it ever becomes awkward then I'd say "Sorry this is X, Y can't come to the phone".

f83mx Mon 22-Jan-18 16:26:43

I think its fine if its like a couple of lines dictated from the person's own mouth - bit different if he was masquerading as your mum and having a conversation with you of course!

Jacketornot Mon 22-Jan-18 16:32:36

Yeah it's the masquerading as DM and trying to sound like her but not quite managing it that's weird. The liberal use of "I". It's more than just a short confirmation response although my initial post didn't make that clear.

It's also in the context of a general lack of boundaries and sense that we are both just extensions of DM. I know she wouldn't like it if DH replied to her messages as me. Also I have said I don't really like it but they still do it. They are very much unit. I never see one without the other. However it seems it's quite common and not a big deal, so I guess it's just me. I don't think it's fair to get irritated with me for not liking it though, which they have.
Thanks for responses

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