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To feel that you cant talk about being proud to bf?

(765 Posts)
TwilightRiver Sun 21-Jan-18 17:11:23

Just to start I am not trying to be goady, and not wanting this to be bf vs ff.

I respect everyones right to choose how to feed their baby.

I haven been bf my lo for 5 months and am very proud of that fact. I have had very little problems and been fortunate enough to have avoided mastitis and thrush so far but its still been so bloody hard.

I have close friends that have babies amd chose to ff . I feel that i can't talk about it for fear of them thinking im getting at them or getting into a whole debate.

I also find that people find its's acceptable to make comments to a mum in regard to bf. 'Maybe theyre not getting enough' "They need water' 'no one else gets to feed, when you giving a bottle'. They wouldn't dream of making such comments to a mother whos ff or criticize her for her choice.

This is also extended to medical professionals. Here ff babies are weighed when born and again when transfered to hv. No weigh ins with midwife on return from hospital. where as bf babies are weighed on return fron hispital then 5 days then weekly. Apparently this is because they know how much ff babies are getting. Its like they are going back on the whole 'breast is best' and expecting you to fail. Or should be the same policy regardless of method of feeding.

CrazyExIngenue Sun 21-Jan-18 17:13:15


CaoNiMa Sun 21-Jan-18 17:14:40

There's too much "proud" around these days. It can often feel like over-weening self-justification.

Just do what you want to do, being neither proud nor otherwise.

pigeondujour Sun 21-Jan-18 17:16:52

What's to be proud of in being, in your words, fortunate enough not to get thrush or mastitis?

GlennRheeismyfavourite Sun 21-Jan-18 17:17:08

I know I what you mean; I feel very lucky that I've found bf easy (after a very painful first two weeks). I'm really proud that I've done it for 5 months and that my little girl is growing so well. I just wish she'd take a bottle now from time to time but she won't!!

luckylavender Sun 21-Jan-18 17:18:15


taskmaster Sun 21-Jan-18 17:18:20

I did it for for years if you add up all m children. What's to be proud of though? It;s not an achievement/

specialsubject Sun 21-Jan-18 17:18:27

Its a body function not a matter of pride.

ReggaetonLente Sun 21-Jan-18 17:19:04

Why would you be though? It's like me saying I'm proud to do a poo.

MatildaTheCat Sun 21-Jan-18 17:19:57

‘Pleased’ might be a gentler way to express your feelings. And definitely only if someone happens to ask you.

Be careful who you mention this to, it can cause immense hurt to someone who struggled and switched to formula. And can look superior to anyone who chose not to bf.

Be quietly pleased that you achieved your goal.

bridgetreilly Sun 21-Jan-18 17:19:58

To be honest, you've fed your child for five months. The same way that billions of women have done forever. In most places, that's like basic mothering, not a reason for pride or celebration.

twinone Sun 21-Jan-18 17:20:34

Why be proud?

Should I be proud to have a shit confused?

Adviceplease360 Sun 21-Jan-18 17:20:50

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Merryoldgoat Sun 21-Jan-18 17:20:55

I don't really see why one should be proud of something that is down to luck in lots of cases.

You said in your OP that you had no issues and it was easy and you had few problems, therefore what's to be proud of?

It's like people being proud of never having had a sick day.

I think being pleased you can breastfeed easily is natural but 'proud'? Not so much.

I FF my baby for a variety of reasons, I'd rather have BF and most of my NCT BF with little trouble and I was pleased for them and they never appeared to either judge me for not, or be proud they were. We talked about the difficulties lots of feeding either way and I had no problem if they needed to vent about it etc.

I'm not really sure where you're coming from but you sound self-righteous, although the I know tone can be difficult to convey in writing.

Spartaca Sun 21-Jan-18 17:21:12

Well, I'm proud of having fed my 3, through thrush, mastitis, bleeding nipples etc. But equally I would feel proud of myself for making the decision to stop were that the best thing for my kids. I can understand that making others feel angry or whathaveyou but I don't feel unreasonable to feel that way, if you see what I mean.

speakout Sun 21-Jan-18 17:21:29

Ignore the haters OP. You should be proud. It is hard to breastfeed in a FF environment.

Spartaca Sun 21-Jan-18 17:21:56

And only those who have had an easy ride of BF can compare it to having a poo.

TrinitySquirrel Sun 21-Jan-18 17:22:02

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Creatureofthenight Sun 21-Jan-18 17:22:17

I struggled with breastfeeding for the first 8 weeks or so but persevered and am still nursing my 6 month old. I’m proud of myself for not giving up, but I wouldn’t say that in conversation with a ff mum - what would it achieve?
(In fact I probably wouldn’t say it in conversation with anyone, I’d feel like a pillock.)

ChocolateButton15 Sun 21-Jan-18 17:22:25

No other mum cares how anyone else feeds their kids, as long as they are being fed! I'm a ff and really don't care about the whole bf v ff but a bf mum I know is obsessed by it. Fb posts, oversharing pics and messages and it's just really boring!

CrazyExIngenue Sun 21-Jan-18 17:22:27

All moaning cows are jealous.

elQuintoConyo Sun 21-Jan-18 17:22:28

I didn't 'choose' how to feed my baby. My tits didn't work.

But hey, high-5 to you.

speakout Sun 21-Jan-18 17:23:20

TrinitySquirre very harsh words.

Breastfeeding does have benefits.

HarrietSmith Sun 21-Jan-18 17:23:34

I think nourishing a human being is different from excreting waste products.

Also you really don't have much choice about whether or not to move your bowels.

Breastfeeding is a choice.

Having said that I absolutely accept that it comes more easily to some than others, and that all that really mattes is that a baby is fed and loved.

bridgetreilly Sun 21-Jan-18 17:23:39

Here you go, OP:

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