How do you deal with huge fuck ups

[Ducktalesooooh]

So I've made a huge mistake at work. Completely non intentional and more a lapse of judgement but it comes at the end of a bad few weeks handling a difficult project that didn't go well. Not all my fault but my reputation is dented.

Add to it this latest fuck up and I'm just a huge ball of anxiety today. I can't think straight, feel sick and am dreading work so much I'm even considering handing in my notice.

So I need some strategies on how to get through this. I have no perspective right now. How do you deal with things when you've totally messed up?

[mrsharrison]

Have you spoken to your line manager yet?

[silvousplaitmerci]

Be honest and fess up.

These things happen and it will pass

[daddyorscience]

Honestly? Hold up my hands, and say "sorry, I f*cked up."... Then accept that what will be, will be. Spent too long worrying about unknowns.. just be honest, up front, and genuine.

[Heratnumber7]

Tell someone.

Everyone makes mistakes, and the sooner you own up the easier it is to fix.

[counterpoint]

Did you simply do what anybody else would have done and it just didn't work out?

[DoubleHelix79]

Firstly: Breathe. It's likely that your mistake is not as huge as you think - my own mistakes always seem monumental, but looking back they are usually not that bad.

Then think about how you can fix the issue or at least minimise the impact. Even if it's not a perfect solution.

Finally I'd identify any learnings and ways to prevent the same thing happening again.

Then talk it over calmly with your boss. These talks tend to go much better if there are already some options and analysis on the table. You also look proactive and responsible.

I guarantee that in a few weeks you'll look back and don't remember why you were so worried.

[rjay123]

Are you a doctor?

[silvousplaitmerci]

I always think as well OP, how will I look back on this in a year's time?

Will I shrug and say 1) "oh well shit happens" or 2 "will I still be curled up in a ball wailing at what's happened"

*hint...it's usually number 1!

[Blackteadrinker77]

What was said at your last review?

That tends to put it in perspective.

One rumble doesn't make an earthquake

[Ducktalesooooh]

I told my boss, I had to, do he knows and is helping but it's just a bit uncertain as to what will happen because it's the weekend.

It wasn't a mistake made out of a decision to do something, the opposite actually. Think "I really need to move that before it gets broken" then promptly forgetting and it gets broken.

No real tactics I can put in place other than knowing to never do it again.

[gamerwidow]

It will be fine everyone makes mistakes and this is what the lessons learned section of a project is all about. Things of massive consequence should never be the domain of just one person there should be a system of assurance so if one person misses something it’s picked up elsewhere because human beings are not infallible.

[Blackteadrinker77]

My worst one was leaving the work lap top on a flight.

It still gets brought up any time some ones lap top or phone breaks. "Least you didn't leave it on a plane" type thing.

Sucks but we are human.

[baddadtogoodmum]

1. Remember, the person who never made a mistake, never made anything
   
2. Go easy on yourself, relax
   
3. Ask yourself, what you have learned from the experience, how would you handle the same situation better next time, what other positive aspects are there to it, can the project/situation be salvaged
   
4. Remember too, that experience is something we all gain just after we need it

[Haffdonga]

I honestly think the easiest thing to do is completely own it.

Tell anyone relevant or affected that you realise you made a big mistake and accept all responsibility, that you are very sorry and then say what you will try to do to mitigate the consequences.

Then noone needs to moan about you behind your back.

[000bourneFarm]

Well that's the most important bit! Learning.

Fuck-ups happen. Planes crash. Bridge spans are 2cm's too short. Wrong doses of medicine are administered.

What matters is you always try your best. This includes recognizing you are fatigued and speak up, or don't have the right skill sets and constantly collaborating to watch each others' backs. These are the most important duties of care.

If it wasn't you it would have been someone else and your firm needs to accept what happened and put in place procedures to ensure it does not happen again. If the culture there is unsupportive then leave for that reason alone.

[Ducktalesooooh]

But I don't know how to BE tomorrow at work.

Act normal, carry on and it looks like I'm trivialising what I've done

Over apologise and people think I'm more useless than I am

Chat to the team in a normal Monday manner, looks like there's no consequence to my mistake

Get my head down and keep quiet, I'm creating an atmosphere

This is why I'm so anxious. I just don't know what to do next?!

[Allergictoironing]

I would make sure that you have a clear strategy to prevent anything like it happening again, and actively go to your boss first thing with it. E.g. "I didn't do something that should have been done, I will do a risk assessment on tasks going forwards and review it regularly (good project management practice this) so I can prioritise daily or weekly tasks depending on the potential impact if they don't get done in time"

[LaContessaDiPlump]

Do you have a regular team meeting on Monday? Is there any way you could bring it up and say 'I did this, it was stupid and I have no excuse, and I'm sorry. We are going to deal with it thusly. Now, moving onto the next thing....'

Mention it, fess up, put a plan in place, move forward. Only thing you can do really.

[grumpy4squash]

I would go and talk to your boss first thing. He already knows about the mistake, so you can start by saying that you feel responsible and it's been bothering you all weekend, then discuss what you can do in practical terms to put it right (or if that's not possible, then can you draw a line under it and move on).
Then get on with the day as usual without referring to it more than necessary.
That way, your manager knows you take your responsibilities seriously, you 'own' the mistake and are doing what you can.

[fobiddenfruitcrumble]

I made a massive mistake at work, sent a fax with confidential information on it. I'm not saying it was pleasant but I tried to be upfront and accept the criticism I got which was plenty (it was in the 80's in a tough, all-male sector). Years later I watched someone else go through it. Everyone has made mistakes. We are all still here.

Chin up, go in to work early, get the best possible start on your day.

[GwenStaceyRocks]

Tomorrow - acknowledge what happened then get on with your work. Overly apologising makes people uncomfortable and can make you seem unprofessional. If your industry uses risk assesments then Allergictoir 's suggestion is a good one. Update the relevant assessment; tell your manager that you have done so.
If your confidence is dented by everything that has happened, take some time today to list some of your achievements over the last year, preferably measurable ones eg you managed x number of projects successfully; you saved/made the company £x; you met with x number of clients. You need to feel confident in your ability. That's the biggest obstacle to how you handle tomorrow.

[Ithasbeenalongtime]

If it wasn't you it would have been someone else and your firm needs to accept what happened and put in place procedures to ensure it does not happen again. If the culture there is unsupportive then leave for that reason alone.

^^ THIS

You have told your boss and he now needs to help you through it. You need to take ownership for clearing up the mess but you also need support to do that. Going forward you need to think about what changes need to be made to stop something like this happening again. If the culture doesn't support these changes, make plans to leave.

I still get cold sweats thinking about things that have gone wrong at work in the past and I worry that when I am old I will only remember the cock ups and all the things that went wrongs and not all the things I aced. If you didn't care about your job its the wrong job for you anyway. Go in on Monday ready to sort out the mess to show you take it seriously and recognise the problem, and want to be part of the solution, but accept help in doing so as well and don't try to cope with it all yourself.

[Pleasedontdrawonyoursister]

The first day back will be the worst. Just act normal! Yes people are going to talk about it, but it will be yesterday’s news soon enough. I made a fuck up at work nearly 10 years ago, people still talk about it now (albeit in a jokey manner ‘at least you didn’t send X to the wrong country like she did LOL’) I’m waiting for the story to be forgotten but it’s not going to happen .