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To ask you to keep me company?

(56 Posts)
NomsQualityStreets Sat 20-Jan-18 10:46:55

Whilst I survive the week on my own with a 7 week old and toddler whilst DP is away for work?

I probably sound like a wimp but it's the first time he has been away for that long since we've been together (6years). I don't have any plans apart from seeing my DM on Tuesday which feels like a lifetime away.
Last night was night 2 on my own I'm co sleeping with the baby so no downtime really and for some reason DS1 (2.5yrs) woke up thrashing and crying/whining and wanting a long cuddle. He woke up again at about 3am and was crying and I have no clue why, he's usually a brilliant sleeper and goes 7pm-6am with no wakings confused. Now I'm effectively on alert all night.

I've no money until payday to afford any days out or playcentres etc
I've stocked up on quick foods in case I have a bad day and no time to cook.

I'm currently putting DS2 down for a nap, DS1 is rolling on the rug watching Octonauts and I really hope I can have 5 to whip up some food.

Lukeandlorelai4Ever Sat 20-Jan-18 10:49:18

Sounds tough op! Any friends or family you can call to, to break up the day or take the toddler for a couple of hours?

ThisLittleKitty Sat 20-Jan-18 10:55:18

You'll be fine. I was a single parent from the beginning this time so had 4 kids one being a newborn.

NomsQualityStreets Sat 20-Jan-18 11:36:05

@Lukeandlorelai4Ever a bit ashamed to admit but I don't really have many friends  always been like that.

Thinking of taking both DCs for a walk but not sure what to put on ds2 as he'll be going in the sling so don't want him too hot/cold.

@ThisLittleKitty sounds tough.

Realistically I know I'll be fine but in a lighthearted way I feel like I'm loosing a bit of my sanity with just the three of us, which is probably down to DS2 being so little.

Lukeandlorelai4Ever Sat 20-Jan-18 16:59:29

It's hard when they are so small. Good idea going for a walk. Wear out the toddler then hopefully you can put your feet up tonight with a glass of wine / cup of tea

NomsQualityStreets Sat 20-Jan-18 17:22:57

Well been for a walk but had to cut it short as it started to really rain. Only had about 30mins sad

DS1 and DDog seemed to enjoy the puddles though. Ds2 slept in the sling.

DS1 is currently having his dinner and I'm trying to get baby to sleep but he has really fought being put down today....
Worried I won't get everything done because of it, all 3 of them including DDog need a bath and the kitchen needs a good clean after the muddy DS1&Ddog stampede.

Also worried DS1 will wake like he did last night ...

Pennywhistle Sat 20-Jan-18 17:26:24

I remember worrying the night before my DH went away for a week with work when my twins were 8 weeks old.

But honestly it was fine.

Stop worrying about getting “everything done” who the hell cares if the house isn’t perfect.

It will all be fine. It will be easier if you relax.


imsorryiasked Sat 20-Jan-18 18:19:44

Honestly the kitchen will wait till tomorrow. So will the baths if necessary. Ds will probably be fine and if he's not he'll wake you so don't lie there waiting for him to stir.

NomsQualityStreets Sat 20-Jan-18 19:23:44

Thank you for the replies, made me feel a bit better.

Thanks to DS2 finally falling asleep DS1 has had his bath and is now tucked in bed hopefully for the whole night Im glad I got some alone time with him with bath time and books as I could tell he was missing one on one attention today.
DS2 has had a long nap he finally went down at about 5.40ish after fighting it for ages and has only just woken up. Which makes me worry about how he will do tonight.
Any tips on tiring out a 7 week old? grin

I know I sound like a wimp but honestly, this sucks, it's evening time and I'm missing DP and I've another 4 bedtimes to go sad

StellaHeyStella Sat 20-Jan-18 19:56:04

First thing op is sod the bloody kitchen cleaning, as long as food prep surfaces are clean who cares about stuff being left out and the floor not being swept for a few days? There are no prizes for being supermum in my opinion. Give yourself permission to leave cleaning and tidying for now.
I was in a similar situation many moons ago and it can be terribly lonely and so exhausting, not many friends I could call on and no family help either. Routine saved my sanity, almost like following a self imposed timetable but it gave me structure and dc nap breaks to actually look forward to instead of hoping they'd happen.
That said I'm not sure how much of a routine is possible with such a little one, how long does he sleep and nap for at the moment? Also of course this is probably the wrong time to be initiating routines, you need to get through those four more bedtimes, and you will.
Take every opportunity possible to rest during the day and make sure you have a treat ready for yourself every evening when (hopefully) they are both asleep. (I'm thinking wine personally but I hear chocolate is good too!)
You sound like a lovely mum btw.

Outnotdown Sat 20-Jan-18 20:07:54

I always hated when dh went away when the kids were that young, I really used to feel anxious and I'm not usually an anxious type, so I don't think you're a wimp op. It does get easier when they're a bit older but that's no consolation to you now, sorry!

Just go easy on yourself and do whatever it takes to get through, including ignoring the mess and dirt.

And hats off to single parents, they are warriors!

Lukeandlorelai4Ever Sat 20-Jan-18 20:09:03

You're doing great. Pop baby in the sling and do 20 minutes of cleaning in the kitchen so you won't face it all in the morning.
No tips on tiring a 7 week old! But fingers crossed he settles early enough for you

Shineystrawberrylover Sat 20-Jan-18 20:10:20

When I was a single parent to two small children I used to do things like let the toddler play in the bath, the baby bouncing in the chair with my foot sat in the bathroom whilst reading a chapter of a book.
I used to make a den under the dining table for the toddler as a good use of a few hours.
Many times we attempted to stack various toys.
We used to go through the toys and cupboards for things of a certain colour or starting with a certain sound when I was really stuck for something!

mogloveseggs Sat 20-Jan-18 20:12:14

If you’ve got the energy, a bath then a feed used to zonk mine out when they were tiny.

IamMoana Sat 20-Jan-18 20:19:49

The best advice I can give you is just do what you can. I've been on my own with my daughter for months on end at times, with no help or respite. If the dishes don't get done, it doesn't matter. If we have the day in wearing jammies & watching films, it doesn't matter. If the washing piles up or the hoover doesn't get put round, it doesn't matter. It'll get done when it gets done. Look after those kids & importantly - yourself. You are no good to anyone if you are in a tired heap. Thinking of you & good luck x

Tistheseason17 Sat 20-Jan-18 20:32:03

Go for walks to the park.
Is there a Children's Centre near you?
Make friends with other mums.
I promise you they are feeling the same. It's overwhelming. Mine were 15 mths apart and once I got the guts to talk to other mums I realised we all felt the same - exhausted!

Once you do this you will have the support network you need. I did not realise I'd talk about poop, breastfeeding, weaning eye so much! Thank goodness for these mums who are now close friends.

I literally knew no one - it is possible. And there are friends here, too. flowers

Now, do you have a cold cup of tea you can microwave anywhere?! grin

NomsQualityStreets Sat 20-Jan-18 21:42:48

@Tistheseason17 unfortunately no cold cups of tea here grin I boiled the kettle but never got around to making one for it to then go cold on me today.

I gave DS2 a bath and he got very excited and wriggled around in it more than usual. Just fed him to sleep as he won't fall on his own in the evening.

Ds1 has just woken up crying again in the same way as yesterday, not screaming just stirring, kicking his feet a bit and upset and won't communicate with me if I ask him what's wrong. It's almost like he's trying to fall asleep but something is bothering him sad
I've tucked him in and stroked his cheek and make sure he has his comfort blankie and he seems to have dropped off for now.

I've now retreated into the bedroom, DS2 in the snuzpod next to me for now until he gets in bed with me at his next feed.

I don't know why but I'm feeling a bit sad and wanting a cuddle.

Wednesday can't come quick enough.

Tistheseason17 Sat 20-Jan-18 21:53:31

Sounds like you're doing a fab job brew

I remember when my DC was around 6-8 wks it was quite difficult around 10pm as they got really collicky. Loads of cycling the legs. Honestly, I had moments where I just cried as I could not comfort them and wasn't that my job? I'm their mum?
They just go through cycles as their bodies develop. If you need to then do what I did - put baby down in a safe place for 5 mins - go into another room and let it all out. Then go back in and cuddle that bubba. Don't feel bad for feeling helpless, you're doing really well xxx

QueenofmyPrinces Sat 20-Jan-18 22:02:37

My DH goes away soon for 8 days leaving me home with our 3 year old and 5 month old.

I plan on letting the 3 year old sleep in my bed with me to avoid any nighttime shenanigans grin

Tistheseason17 Sat 20-Jan-18 22:04:01

Shenanigans! Made me chuckle! grin

MrsAJ27 Sat 20-Jan-18 22:15:23

You are doing amazingly well OP. I hope you get a good night's sleep flowers

MumJ21 Sat 20-Jan-18 22:29:03

You sound like you are doing a great job. My husband first went away for a week when DD was 7 weeks old and it was hard, long, lonely and tiring but we got through it. Since then he goes away nearly every month for 1-2 weeks at a time. Every time is hard saying goodbye but I get us into a routine we stick to it and the weeks seem to go pretty quick. The weekends are the worst. DD now 8 months old and goes to bed at 6 everyday and usually wakes once in the night so now I am able to sit down with a cuppa in the evening and get stuck into a good programme to kill some time until the next day rolls around.

mogloveseggs Sun 21-Jan-18 08:27:52

How was the rest the of the night op?

NomsQualityStreets Sun 21-Jan-18 10:30:14

Thank you for all the advice.

DS1 woke once more last night and had a little sad cry, I could go to him straight away because I was BFing the baby but he had a min or so and must have fallen asleep as I didn't hear from him for the rest of the night.
Could it be the fact he hadn't seen his dad? I'm only wondering that because he usually sleeps straight through.

Rest of the night is a blur as I usually feed baby laying down. Ds1 woke up at around 5.30am and played in his room until nearly 7, then asked for his 'daddy' and got really upset when I told him daddy is at work. And said to me "mummy DS1 sad" sad
He the came in bed with me for a cuddle and we all slept until 9am blush

It's snowing here and we are all in our pjs, I was hoping to go out for milk but not sure what the roads are like.

I need a brew

Lukeandlorelai4Ever Sun 21-Jan-18 10:57:52

Sounds like a not to bad night!
We are also still in our pjs! Is there any toddler groups you can get to tomorrow?

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