AIBU to be upset?

[Afterconkerseason]

I’ve been flamed before for being unfair to DH so want to check I’m not just being a cow.

I’m 38+6 weeks with DC2 and home alone with DS (3.5 yrs). DH went out after work with ex work colleagues, it’s been prearranged but he said him and another colleague were ‘looking after’ each other as both had reasons to be home at a reasonable time.

He’s in a city about an hour away, I’ve not heard from him since 10pm ish. I’m heavily pregnant and feeling vulnerable so perhaps I’m just being unfair but we’re supposed to be having a family day out tomorrow before baby 2 arrives (I have an ELCS scheduled next week) and now he’s going to roll in drunk and full of excuses.

I’m pissed off but should I be, maybe not worth getting annoyed with him for enjoying a last night out. Just wish he hadn’t said he’d be home at a reasonable time in the first place!

[huha]

I would be pissed off too OP. At that gestation DH wouldn't even drink from home in case I went into labour rightly so as I did!

Have you tried ringing him?

[Rainbowqueeen]

I'd be annoyed too

Try ringing and ask him to give a realistic ETA so at least you know what is going on and can get some rest

[Afterconkerseason]

Thanks for your replies! I’m glad it’s not just me to be honest, very emotional and questioning myself!

I rang and he was in the taxi home, he said I could tell him off when he got home

He got home and fell asleep on the sofa downstairs. Twunt.

[KMoKMo]

YANBU!!

[ohlittlepea]

YANBU. how selfish of him!!!!

[maras2]

Selfish sod
You are so not being unreasonable.
Make sure, if you can be arsed to even talk to him that he doesn't get out of family time tomorrow.
I'm so cross for you.
Best of luck for the C.Section next week. and for little one.

[sirlee66]

What a bonehead! He probably just hasn't thought about it in the same way you have.

I'd be so upset if DH did this to me! Especially if we had plans the next day. It's inconsiderate and selfish! But more because I cant settle until he's back home. At your stage, you must be uncomfortable enough as it is!!

I also don't think it's fair to be leaving you at this stage. What is something we're to happen? These things do happen and aren't always predictable.

I'm 27+6 and DH doesn't drink anymore (his decision) just incase something happened and he needed to take control or get me to the hospital. It makes me feel much calmer knowing he's there or at least on standby with a phone call away.

Crack in with your plans for tomorrow. His hangover will be punishment enough for his selfishness

[theForeigner]

"DH wouldn't even drink from home in case I went into labour"

Why?

What's he done wrong? Slept on the sofa or went out with friends? I don't see the issue.

[Cheby]

Because theForeigner you generally need your partner to drive you to hospital, and be an active partner during the birth, neither of which they can do while pissed. So most decent partners don’t drink in the later stages of pregnancy just in case. The OP is well past what is considered to be full term.

[theForeigner]

@Cheby

Or get a taxi. Not everyone has cars. Do they just give birth in the bath?

No one suggested he was paraletic. Adrenaline and time are spectacular cures for a few drinks.


@maras2

"Make sure, if you can be arsed to even talk to him that he doesn't get out of family time tomorrow."

Slightly off topic but I'm always surprised by the number of posters who talk about 'getting out' of time with the family. Isn't it enjoyable?

[mogulfield]

Plenty of women go in labour at nearly 39 weeks, I’d be pissed off too! It’s not too much to ask a man not to drink for a few weeks in case this huge life altering event happens! Yanbu.

[Cheby]

We got a taxi to hospital with DD1. DH still didn’t drink once I was past 37 weeks, no one wants a birth partner stinking of beer! You want someone with a calm, sober head who you can trust to take charge of all the other stuff so you can concentrate on labour.

[Afterconkerseason]

Yeah I’ve been getting lots of BH etc so was just wanting him to be around and ready to go in case something kicked off. I don’t begrudge him going out but he could have moderated slightly; come home a bit earlier and not drank quite so much given the circumstances.

[flumpybear]

Seriously! What if you went into labour what the fuck would you all do let alone you've got a young child to consider too - really unreasonable of him!