Talk

Advanced search

MIL wearing white

(416 Posts)
2016mumma Fri 19-Jan-18 19:33:53

Hi all,
So I don't drip feed but too long to write it all down...so slight overview incase it's relevant.
My MIL and I always got on brilliantly until my DS was born a year ago, since then she has been opinionated on every decision we make as his parents and if we ask her not to do something she will infront of us go against our wishes, with the excuse of it's what Grandmas do. That's a whole different thread.
We get married in September and yesterday MIL announced she was wearing a off white dress for the occasion. AIBU to be a little hurt by this I believed the etiquette of weddings was only the bride wears white?
I am trying really hard not to take it personally and as a fingers up to me ( although this is something she would do) she always wants to be the centre of attention and will play the victim if ever we try to discuss the way she is with DS.
If I am being reasonable in that it's not the done thing to do, do we say something or keep our mouths shut for the sake of keeping the peace.

TheQueenOfWands Fri 19-Jan-18 19:35:53

Nah, one MN MiL wore a transparent white suit with her bush on full display.

Nod and smile.

towtrucker Fri 19-Jan-18 19:36:36

Fuck keeping the peace, it's your wedding day not just a random party!!!
Is she stupid, inconsiderate or both?!?

SockQueen Fri 19-Jan-18 19:38:20

She is the one who will look stupid. Nobody will mistake her for the bride. Let her dig her own hole if she really wants to.

Chunkymonkey217 Fri 19-Jan-18 19:38:37

You’re not BU, she’s being very rude by expecting to wear white. Surely it’s common knowledge that you don’t wear white to a wedding? I’d be very pissed off if I were you! I think you should say something to her, it’s not on at all.

OuchBollocks Fri 19-Jan-18 19:38:49

Did they really TheQueenOfWands? shock

OP everyone with think your MIL is an attention seeking loon. It won't reflect badly on you at all.

PlateOfBiscuits Fri 19-Jan-18 19:39:46

WTF TheQueenOfWands??!

dingdongdigeridoo Fri 19-Jan-18 19:40:18

She'll make herself look like a bloody idiot. Who wears white to a wedding? Serve spaghetti at the wedding breakfast and hope she messes up her outfit.

Batmanwearspants Fri 19-Jan-18 19:40:19

It will reflect badly on her rather than detracting anything from you. I’d be miffed though.

WhooooAmI24601 Fri 19-Jan-18 19:40:34

The thing is (and I say this with the greatest of respect to any woman in her 50's, 60's and 70's) she is going to look ridiculous. She's going to look exactly like a MIL trying to make the day about her and failing spectacularly.

Leave her to it; smile and ignore her comments about dresses and let her look a fool on the day. Nobody's going to confuse her with the bride, nobody's going to say "ooh you look like sisters" so let her act the goat.

As for her wanting to do things differently with your DS, stand your ground. He's your child, you get to choose who raises him and how. If she's overstepping the mark she's not going to crumble if she's told to back off and sometimes overbearing people really do need a shove in the right direction.

Crumbs1 Fri 19-Jan-18 19:41:08

Your mother in law is unlikely to be mistaken for the bride. Off white can mean anything from cream to grey. Just let it pass.

grasspigeons Fri 19-Jan-18 19:41:10

She's just making her self look silly. Everyone will judge her - so just leave her to it. (unless your MIL happens to be really stunning and will outshine you as she has great taste in off white dresses and plenty of money)

TractorTedTed Fri 19-Jan-18 19:41:33

Just ignore her. It will reflect badly on her, but no-one will think worse of you.
You'll still be the bride and therefore the centre of attention, no matter what your mil does.

Knittedfairies Fri 19-Jan-18 19:41:42

She's the one who is being unreasonable to put it mildly. Everyone else st your wedding will know who a) the bride is, and b) what a faux pas your MIL has committed by wearing white. Is it possible she's itching for a fight? Don't rise to her....

Cheby Fri 19-Jan-18 19:41:57

Say something. She is being a dick. If it were us my DH would just tell her out right; it’s inappropriate to wear white to a wedding, and we don’t want you to. You can of course continue to choose to wear white, but everyone will think you are rude for doing so, including us.

Cornettoninja Fri 19-Jan-18 19:42:40

Not worth the aggro tbh. Let her get on with it.

I would be shocked if she'd never heard that it's not the done thing to wear whit

Neapolitanicecream Fri 19-Jan-18 19:42:50

Tell her it's considered uncouth

ladybirdsarelovely33 Fri 19-Jan-18 19:42:51

OP, if I went to a wedding and saw someone other than the bride wearing white/ ivory etc, I would think them slightly strange/ attention seeking. I would avoid them.

Jigglytuff Fri 19-Jan-18 19:43:11

Well, either her son speaks to her and tells her how inappropriate it is or you STFU. But you shouldn't speak to her. She's trying to start a you vs her war. Don't allow that.

Your DH needs to take a side. If it isn't yours, I'd rethink marrying him. I know that sounds a bit melodramatic but if she's playing games now and he's not fighting your corner then it will only get worse and you'll be in for years of misery and conflict.

GreenTulips Fri 19-Jan-18 19:43:15

Change your dress to bright red!

Tell her the theme is purple

Or just ask DH to tell her it's bloody rude!

2016mumma Fri 19-Jan-18 19:43:19

I can't say anything to her without her crying to her other 2 sons how I have bullied her (happened before after I asked her to stop feeding DS chocolate before his lunch else he would never eat) and then DP gets it in the neck. The only person that can bring it up is DP but she will know it's come from me. I can't help but think she is doing it on purpose to try and wind me up. Just not sure how to deal with it, I just want to scream and say you ruined the day DS was born with your attention seeking ways for once let the lime light be on us.

Jigglytuff Fri 19-Jan-18 19:43:36

Well, either her son speaks to her and tells her how inappropriate it is or you STFU. But you shouldn't speak to her. She's trying to start a you vs her war. Don't allow that.

Your DH needs to take a side. If it isn't yours, I'd rethink marrying him. I know that sounds a bit melodramatic but if she's playing games now and he's not fighting your corner then it will only get worse and you'll be in for years of misery and conflict.

Cornettoninja Fri 19-Jan-18 19:43:38

Posted too soon - anyway she's the one who has to front out the whispers and comments not you

AdaColeman Fri 19-Jan-18 19:43:45

Change your own dress to scarlet, don't tell her though!

Jigglytuff Fri 19-Jan-18 19:44:04

Sorry - IT brain fart there

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: