Namechanged as I don't want to out myself.
All of my DCs are grown up so I haven't been on here in a while but DH and I are disagreeing about advice I've given to DD25 and thought there might be some advice here.
DD started a new job in September after leaving her last one due to major depression (was on sick leave all summer). She says she really enjoys it, wants this to be a career and likes the people she works with but I'm very worried about her absence levels.
Since she started she's had multiple days off due to depression (can't get out of bed) and this week has been off with the flu.
Obviously I understand that she's unwell and shouldn't have to work unwell but AIBU to tell her that she should be worried about her job? She's been there less than 6 months and has disclosed her mental illness (she has a BPD and depression diagnosis both of which have caused health issues) which I understand is very brave but surely brings up questions as to whether she's able to do her job.
DH says they have to accommodate as she's disclosed and we shouldn't pressure her into working when her mental state is fragile. I want her to be aware of the reality of the situation. If I was her manager I would definitely be questioning whether she was worth keeping on, just as a purely business decision (surely there are many healthy 25 year olds who can do her job).
I've been nice about it over the phone prevously, told her to rest up but tonight I felt I had to let her know that she should be ready for consequences when she returns to work. DH says I'm setting her up to fail. What do you think?
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AIBU?
AIBU or is DH? DD's time off work
45 replies
Annienonymouse · 18/01/2018 22:33
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