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To quit counselling because of this "advice"?

(17 Posts)
RoboticSealpup Thu 18-Jan-18 18:20:24

I told my counsellor that I want to have another baby soon but it's tricky because I've only been back at work for a short while as I took a long maternity break with my DD.

Plus, due to an anxiety issue, I don't know how well I'd function at work in pregnancy when not taking my medication.

She said It sounds like you have a good relationship with your boss. Maybe you could ask her when it would be a good time for you to have another baby?"

shock WTF kind of counsellor gives advice like that? Surely my manager would open herself up to any number of allegations of she even hinted a negative attitude towards me going on maternity leave??

I cancelled my session today. I just can't take her seriously.

IrkThePurist Thu 18-Jan-18 18:22:09

Yanbu, thats pretty bad confused

FizzyGreenWater Thu 18-Jan-18 18:22:53

Yep, that's ludicrous. I would have cancelled too.

ilovesooty Thu 18-Jan-18 18:25:07

I don't think she should have said that.

RoboticSealpup Thu 18-Jan-18 18:33:59

I'm not sure what to do now. This is through my gp and I'd like to try again with a different person. I don't know if the service will just accept the explanation that it's "not a good fit". I don't want to make a complaint or anything.

ladystarkers Thu 18-Jan-18 18:35:07

Ive seen a ‘few’ counsillors they vary alot. I’d look for someone new.

MyBoysAndI Thu 18-Jan-18 18:37:32

How many session have you had with her?

I had to request a change once as she was telling me all HER problems!

IrkThePurist Thu 18-Jan-18 18:39:02

Can you go back to your GP and complain? She cant tell you to do something that would cause legal problems at work and expect to keep NHS contracts.

ToadsforJustice Thu 18-Jan-18 18:42:39

She was totally unprofessional. Complain to your GP and ask for another referral.

Cherrycokewinning Thu 18-Jan-18 18:43:03

This made me laugh, sorry OP. What a stupid thing to say!

I think you can absolutely request to change counsellor even though it’s NHS

RoboticSealpup Thu 18-Jan-18 19:45:59

Myboys I've had two sessions already and I wasn't impressed even before she suggested I ask my boss when I should TTC... I have a public speaking phobia. She keeps telling me to download mindfulness apps on my phone...

Pumpkinpie657 Thu 18-Jan-18 23:10:32

YANBU. Also I know this isn’t the point, but there are some anxiety medications you can take during pregnancy although obviously it’s a personal choice.

Fuckit2017 Thu 18-Jan-18 23:13:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wow1234 Thu 18-Jan-18 23:18:09

That is so weird!!! Why would anyone give that advice anyway let alone a counsellor?!?!? Defo ask to switch. Who would ever dream of asking their boss something so personal? How would it ever be up to your boss to choose when you try for a baby? That's nuts.

Forkhandles22 Thu 18-Jan-18 23:26:26

Tbh op I think she was trying to give you a conversation starter about the subject with your boss as you’re worried about it. What she mentioned is a technique used by some people to make you seem more favourable to others when discussing something that would benefit yourself at their inconvenience. I get that’s not how the employer- employee relationship works legally, but on a personal relationship level it is handy.

NordicNobody Fri 19-Jan-18 00:10:55

She sounds like an idiot. Some counsellors are just awful. I was referred to see one once after an mc. She told me I should write a list of all the reasons my mc was a good thing (based on the fact the pregnancy was unplanned) then after I'd cried for about an hour sent me home with the words "doesn't everything feel better now you've had a good cry? I bet you'll sleep like a baby tonight." I never tried counselling again! Crazy thing is, I looked into counselling as a career option once and you actually need loads of qualifications and years of study to do it!

WitchesGlove Fri 19-Jan-18 03:11:50

There are some awful counsellors out there!

Mine told me she was obese due to a ‘medical condition’, nagged and nagged me to join sports clubs etc, in order to meet people, offered to drive me there! Wtf?

Told me to ring her any hour of the day or night. Had no boundaries.

All this I was paying £60 a session for. Never again!

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