Ive recently found out I was pregnant following two M/C. One at 8 weeks and the other at 13 weeks which was absolutely awful.
I’m overweight, have lost a dress size in preparation for falling pregnant, I don’t weight myself as for obsessive with it as a teenager I’m currently a size 18, was hoping to lose more but caught on unexpectedly! I’m currently 15 weeks and have a 4 YO DD.
My DM was bloody awful when she found out about my last M/C after I’d accidentally left a box of pregna care on the work top. I broke down and had to explain that I wasn’t pregnant and had lost the baby. She has always been a cow about my weight and I’ve got a horrendous relationship with food as a result, it’s all or nothing. I have never been able to have that balance of eating enough to be able to lose weight at a steady pace but be full at the same time. I’ve always starved myself and lost a lot of weight in a short space of time. I lost the dress size in less than 3 weeks. I know it’s not good for me. Anyway, 10 minutes after she found out about my M/C She blamed my weight ‘well you really want to be thinking about losing weight if you want to conceive, your body has to support you and the baby and probably couldn’t cope because you had weight on.’ My size 8 SIL miscarried the week after and DM was taking her out for coffee and supporting her yet the same thing had happened to me and she’s bollocking me about my weight.
Myself and DP told my DM that we were expecting again a week ago. We made it clear that she was the first person to know other than ourselves and that we’d kept it quiet for so long due to what happened last time. She just put her head in her hands and told me how I was putting a huge strain on my already ‘struggling’ body (the body that chases sheep and cows up and down hill tops, has already given birth once and looks after DD 
) also I’m putting a huge strain on the NHS and that it’s not fair to put an unborn baby at risk by getting pregnant while overweight.
She just can’t be happy for us. My partner asked her to leave our house before she could say anymore. I had a normal pregnancy and birth with DD. I feel as though everyone is looking down on me and tutting because I’ve fallen pregnant while still overweight.
AIBU for being pissed of with her?
AIBU?
To ask why she can’t just be happy for us?
Placeboooooooo · 18/01/2018 16:12
Wow, she sounds like a toxic bitch
She has got some very deep-seated issues which are NOT your problem, you mustn''t let her spoil your enjoyment of your pregnancy
Your biggest advantage here is that you have a partner with a backbone - get him to act as a buffer zone between you and her from now on, you don't need her and her wonky fucked-up attitudes anywhere near you and your babies
and congratulations 
Well done to your partner. She sounds pretty foul tbh.
Congratulations on your pregnancy and I’m very sorry to hear about your losses .
Nobody will be judging you. Nobody will think you are being reckless. Nobody wil be looking at your body shape and thinking anything at all, because that is not normal. That is your mother's weird, repressive thinking, and it's hard for you to detach from it because you've grown up with it.
Honestly, put some distance between you and you won't believe how much happier you'll be
Enjoy your lovely little family
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