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To be furious teachers keep sitting 'naughty' kids next to my 'angelic' DC

(465 Posts)
Flaky Thu 18-Jan-18 09:21:47

So he is then upset by them being mean to him and doesn't want to go to school?

This is at least the 3rd occasion a kid like this has been moved next to him.

Last year the teacher admitted that she had done it so DS's good influence rubs off but why should he suffer for it?

He's the youngest in the class as well (Yr2)and some of these DC are almost a whole year older.

Isn't this just very lazy teaching?

Saysomethingnice Thu 18-Jan-18 09:23:53

I can see why they do it but repeatedly took the detriment of the your own dc enjoying and learning at school.. No. Ask to get him moved

lilyboleyn Thu 18-Jan-18 09:24:42

Teacher here. I move my kids every 3 weeks to ‘share the love’ as it were... is this perhaps a short-term move?

HamishBamish Thu 18-Jan-18 09:25:52

We get this all the time with DS1. It's very annoying. When I asked the teacher about it they said it was standard practice to split the less well behaved kids up and put them next to well behaved ones. Ask for them to be moved OP.

Partypopper123 Thu 18-Jan-18 09:27:51

It's pretty standard I think. I spoke to a teacher about it last year, it is a proper methodology and has a name which I can't remember. Basically on a table of 4, there would be a higher achiever, average pupil, someone 'disruptive' and some one below average. The purpose being the high achiever will influence the others. I think it is quite lazy, and if you have a sensitive child it is very possible they will get stressed by a disruptive pupil.

MadCap Thu 18-Jan-18 09:29:16

This happened to quiet and painfully shy dd this year. Thankfully a chat with the teacher sorted the problem.

arethereanyleftatall Thu 18-Jan-18 09:30:40

At our school, they do so this. But they mix it up. So, for some lessons you're seated with similar ability, some with friends, some times like this. It's fairly standard. I think find out first if he's sat with this child all day long, every day.

CrazyExIngenue Thu 18-Jan-18 09:31:48

I remember my teacher doing that when I was 13 (1993). She put a boy who had been causing trouble in class next to me so my good behavior could rub off. Instead he spent the entire class making lewd remarks to me and touching my arm or leg. I told her, she didn't listen, I moved my desk away, I got sent to the principals office. My DM & DF got involved and the bitch moved me to another place, but she made it clear the rest of my time in the school that she didn't like me because I was "stubborn and defiant". angry

If it bothers your DS, get him moved.

BrownTurkey Thu 18-Jan-18 09:34:39

My friends DD gets this all the time in secondary. Tell them it is negatively affecting your DC and keep an eye out.

DropZoneOne Thu 18-Jan-18 09:35:25

Seems to be the norm but they do rotate the tables. I did have to ask the teacher to move my DD away from a particular child due to low-level bullying, that was undermining DDs confidence and impacting her performance.

Agree that if your child isn't especially confident, then it can be detrimental.

Hoppinggreen Thu 18-Jan-18 09:35:58

My dd had this at Primary - apparently she was a calming influence!,
She also got paired with kids who were struggling in projects where she either ended up doing all the work or getting a lower grade than she normally would.
I had to go and ask her teacher to stop doing it when the latest “naughty boy”she was charged with calming down stabbed her in the leg with a compass when she suggested they might get on with their work.
It’s a recognised methodology according to some teacher friends and it DOES benefit the kids who are struggling but I’m not sure it’s great for the higher achievers

Ifailed Thu 18-Jan-18 09:37:01

How would you feel if another parent complained that your DS is not as angelic as their child & asked the teacher not to sit them together?

slimmerShady Thu 18-Jan-18 09:37:15

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ChickenPaws Thu 18-Jan-18 09:38:03

They did this to ds2 and it stressed him out (he has aspergers) and the disruptive kid got off on winding him up.

I don’t care how much methodology there is behind it, it’s stupid and doesn’t work.

Hesburger Thu 18-Jan-18 09:41:25

Just out of interest what do you propose the teacher do instead?

Do you want all the 'naughty' children rounded up and sat in one corner?

Lovelybigboots Thu 18-Jan-18 09:42:13

This happened to me in year 4, say next to an awful boy who tormented me.

Fast forward; now I’m a primary school teacher I try very hard to avoid this. Sometimes, sometimes, it works wonderfully and the two children get on very well and both benefit, more often than not though the food natured child has to suck it up.
I ve had a few classes where there’s been over a handful of ‘tricky’ children and I put them all together and kept a close eye. As far as I was concerned it was an opportunity for the other children to get on in peace. It is a nightmare as a teacher to find the perfect solution.
However, occasionally children will have to sit next to someone they are not keen on, but in your situation I would speak to the teacher.

ChickenPaws Thu 18-Jan-18 09:42:49

Yes, sit them together, impose proper discipline and not inflict them on others who would like to learn something.

Sgtmajormummy Thu 18-Jan-18 09:44:42

Yep, happened to me when they did "chalk and cheese" pairing in October (11 yos in a new school).

Trouble is, DD is an apparently calm type who bottles it all up. Over the course of 2 weeks she got more and more frustrated, resentful and even tearful. Detrimental to learning and settling into the class. I sent an email to her Class Teacher explaining that I understood the methodology behind it but it was creating problems for DD.

The class seating was rearranged the next day.

Saysomethingnice Thu 18-Jan-18 09:45:22

Slimmer grin there's adversity and adversity. I know one of dc friends has sat and been sworn at constantly for weeks at 9. She was also told by school her dd needs to learn ti deal with adversity.
I disagree on a constant day to day basis she has to be abused.
We would not accept that as adults in the work place why on earth should dc?

Tax!my arse!!

ShutUpBaz Thu 18-Jan-18 09:48:22

My DD had this for a fortnight last year, as a 'behaviour mentor'. The wee boy already had a 1-to-1 TA. He would distract and touch my DD to the point she couldn't concentrate and her work suffered. I told her teacher in no uncertain terms that I expect my DD to be moved away from this boy. His needs were being catered to but at the detriment of my DDs education. She was moved the next day and it hasn't happened since.

Tell them (not ask, the other childs behaviour is neither yours nor your DCs problem) to move your child.

spiderlight Thu 18-Jan-18 09:48:27

You need to nip that in the bud. My DS's very inexperienced teacher did it in Y1 - she actually told us she did it because she hoped he'd be a good influence on the very disruptive kid in the class (later diagnosed with ADHD and Aperger's and moved to a special behaviour unit). DS was actually good friends with this lad but he ended up taking the brunt of his frustration, sometimes physically. We had to ask for him to be moved because he was really unhappy and struggled to concentrate.

Flaky Thu 18-Jan-18 09:48:56

Well the fact he doesn't want to go to school shows he's suffering slimmer.

Would you just put up with it if you were being antagonised all day at work?

Thanks for the majority view that IANBU.

Gileswithachainsaw Thu 18-Jan-18 09:49:42

No this isn't fair imo

It doesn't teach then anything. Kids need to learn to behave. Instill some discipline that's yours and the parents job not mine or someone else's kids job.

Just because a kid is well behaved doesn't mean their needs don't count as they aren't causing you a problem.

Hesburger Thu 18-Jan-18 09:50:05

Slimmershady - well said.

It makes me really sad at school to see children that haven't had the nurturing start in life excluded at such a young age. They should have the opportunity to see more positive attitudes to school modelled to them from others.

I cannot believe it is not more work for the teacher to have all the naughty children in one group. Surely they will get a disproportionate amount of attention, disrupting lessons further.
Ha - I'm secondary and I know if I did this with one of my classes we would get nothing done! (Currently on mat leave - not slacking)

Why do people think it's ok to write off children at the age of 6/7?

Zerosugaroption Thu 18-Jan-18 09:50:42

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