Sorry posting here for traffic.
I think I've been pushing my DP away.
He told me yesterday he worries he can't make me happy and I never seem happy.
Few points as a bit of a backstory that might help:
DP and my parents have fallen out, mostly due to my parents behaviour but he did some things too. He has decided to go completely NC with them (I still see them with DCs) I completely understand his reasons to do so. I support him and I'm doing my best for us to be a tight knit family unit.
However I won't lie that it has hurt me deeply, I know what my parents are and I have learnt to manage my contact with them but they do also have good points and would do anything for me, DCs and even DP.
We are struggling as we have a tiny house and can't move for a few years, and it's getting overwhelmed with stuff and we will struggle to fit our DCs and us in it once the baby is a bit bigger, I get bouts of feeling almost claustrophobic in it. I'm constantly tidying and it's constantly getting messed up. It doesn't help I spend most of my days here with a little baby and a toddler.
We were supposed to be getting married and both want a big wedding but I really can't imagine it with the family situation being like this
Also we have recently had a baby and I have had a complete lack of sex drive for the last 2-3months which is the longest we have ever gone. I'm still not feeling it even though physically I feel absolutely fine.
It's really strange as I've found myself quite emotionless recently, even before the baby was born, I'm not excited about anything in particular, I'm not happy but not unhappy either, I'm happy for DP who's recently achieved some big things at work and I have told him this but inside I don't actually feel enthusiastic about anything.
I will smile but it doesn't reach my eyes and I can feel it and I think DP has seen it.
I'm not moping around miserable but I'm just quietly getting on with things and not really showing much emotion about anything.
I still find DP attractive and I love him and I love our family but most of the time I feel like there's something stopping me expressing any of that.
DP is away ATM and has text me yesterday asking if I'm happy as I never seem happy, he wonders if he can ever make me happy and saying I have no hobbies (true but ATM the EBF baby makes it all a bit restricted anyway) and that we have little communication - that's also true as I seem to clam up when we talk and I notice myself doing this but I can't break through that barrier and I don't know why
What's wrong with me?
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AIBU?
I think something's wrong ...
41 replies
NomsQualityStreets · 17/01/2018 12:35
OP posts:
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