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AIBU?

Leave work early for 'parents evening'

53 replies

coffeeforone · 17/01/2018 10:47

I would need to leave work about an hour early for the last appointment at DS's first parents evening at nursery. How does your employer treat this time off? Can they refuse?

WIBU to just say i have an 'appointment' at DS's nursery and expect them to treat it the same as they would e.g. a dentist appointment (which they say is basically fine at the start/end of the day). Or would you a take half day annual leave as it's not medical?

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Trinity66 · 17/01/2018 10:49

Depends on the employer really, how easy going/approachable are they?

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GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 17/01/2018 10:49

Can you start early or work your lunch to make up the time?

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chestylarue52 · 17/01/2018 10:51

I would say

I’d like to leave early for ds parent evening,

I’ll come in earlier, or work through my lunch, whatever is better for you

I don’t have any meetings or important tasks at that time OR I’ve asked x if they are willing to cover for me and they have agreed.

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coffeeforone · 17/01/2018 10:53

Everyone works pretty hard and works though lunch anyway. They are pretty old school and don't really allow flexible working / work from home. They do generally expect all staff to be in the office until their finishing time, or later. I don't work late since returning from maternity leave, but most of my colleagues do.

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DavidPuddy · 17/01/2018 11:00

If they don't allow flexible working (although do ask them if they would consider this - things may only change if you ask for it), then probably a half day is the way to go.

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sirfredfredgeorge · 17/01/2018 11:00

Of course they can refuse.
They can also refuse dental appointments.

Very few will for either unless it is in the sort of place where actual mandated levels of cover are required and leaving a shift impacts that, if it's just a work done job, then very few would disagree.

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Trinity66 · 17/01/2018 11:01

You shouldn't have to work through your lunch though, you're entitled to have a break.

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100YearsOfVote · 17/01/2018 11:17

Put it in you Calender and tell you boss you need to leave early for parent/teacher meeting.

Set the precedent now - there are more to come and it is important to be able to go to the occassional school event/meeting.

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wendz86 · 17/01/2018 11:18

My company are flexible about this type of things. As long as you are working hard they don't mind this sort of thing occasionally. I would probably work through lunch and leave early.

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crunchymint · 17/01/2018 11:18

Mine would make me book half a days annual leave.

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MrsAndyDayTheFirst · 17/01/2018 11:21

Is it just a nursery parents evening? If it is I wouldn’t bother if you’re confident dc is happy at nursery. If school aged child I would speak to employer and see is they react. It’s going to be a pita taking half days every parents evening, sports day, nativity etc. so it would be good to get a plan in place now.

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coffeeforone · 17/01/2018 11:22

They wouldn't refuse any kind of medical or dental appointment so I'm just wondering if this is something that could be treated in the same way.

They wouldn't ever force anyone to work through lunch or work late - its just the type of culture where people generally work much longer hours than 9-5.

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stickytoffeevodka · 17/01/2018 11:24

Here they'd let you go early (unpaid as we're hourly not salaried) or you'd be able to take half a days annual leave.

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Iprefercoffeetotea · 17/01/2018 11:24

Do you work FT? I was thinking that if you work PT and your leave is expressed in hours you could just take an hour's leave.

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coffeeforone · 17/01/2018 11:24

MrsAndyDayTheFirst - Its a nursery parents evening and the chance to see his new room and meet his new key worker and room staff (he is moving next week). I dont do pick up or drop off so want to at least show my face to this.

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VodkaRevelation · 17/01/2018 11:25

I think you should say you need to leave early but will work through lunch. Doesn’t matter if you do that everyday anyway as you are entitled to that as a break. They can’t say, “no, you should be working at lunchtime anyway.” Can they?

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VodkaRevelation · 17/01/2018 11:26

Or just lie and say it’s a dentist appt.

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coffeeforone · 17/01/2018 11:26

I've just put it in my calendar as a private appointment and told my team - same as I would with e.g. a dentist appointment

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HelgasFlowers · 17/01/2018 11:27

I’m self-employed so not an issue. DH sometimes has to leave an hour earlier for things like parents evening and just makes the time up. I would be tempted to just tell ask if you can owe them the time you need off / request flexible working and maybe clarify that it will be a rare occurrence.

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Jackiebrambles · 17/01/2018 11:29

What do the other parents who work there do? I would do as others suggest, work through lunch to leave early.

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chatwoo · 17/01/2018 11:30

I would find it hard to see any reasonable employer/boss refusing this. Flag it a few days out and then a verbal reminder on the day before / same day first thing.

Yes and I'm aware some employers can be this unreasonable!

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extinctspecies · 17/01/2018 11:36

It's a perfectly reasonable request.

Only you can judge if your employers are reasonable however!

There will be more of this as time goes on, so it's good to establish a precedent.

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Oly5 · 17/01/2018 11:38

I’d lie and say you have a medical appt!

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coffeeforone · 17/01/2018 11:38

What do the other parents who work there do?

For most of them, their OH is a SAHP who would go and they would miss it. Or they are very senior and don't need to answer to anyone. I'm actually the most junior parent in the office (still have a management level role)

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omnishambles · 17/01/2018 11:42

Can your partner not go? I know it is nice to go to these things but only one of you needs to and it is good to get into the habit of taking turns so that one employer doesn't take all the hit iyswim.

It gets worse when they start school - especially around Christmas.

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