Wondering if iabu to want to pan dh right now.
I earn about 20k more than him. We have separate bank accounts. The house is in my name (his choice) and we have been together for over 20 years. So.. he pays a fixed amount into my account that represents around a third of the cost of running the household (food, utilities, kids, mortgage, insurance, council tax etc) excluding goodies, treats and holidays. The only other bills he pays are for his vehicles running costs (one is permanently in his workshop being procrastinated about). Meanwhile everything else comes out of my account including house maintenance, building work, holidays, christmas and birthday presents for kids and family, meals out, clothes, replacement goods like tv, washing machine, irons etc when they die, dental insurance and basically everything else. Last year things were tight. DS started driving and needed a sub for insurance, fuel etc until he got a job. Dh needed dental work not covered, glasses, car parts and garage bills etc. So decided not to contribute a bean for nearly five months. He then started putting some across but not the usual amount as he was covering the fuel for DS car. He is SE and had a meaty tax bill and not enough to cover it so on the understanding he paid me back, I dipped into my savings and loaned him the shortfall instead of replacing the dangerous path, patio and drive which is what I had been saving for.. Turns out the tax money he should have put by, paid for his new car. Still awake? As the year went on, some months were nearly paid in full and some were not. I ended up covering the whole Christmas expense plus around five tanks of fuel for DS because he was skint despite holding this back so he could cover the fuel cos apparently Dad's do that (?!). Every shortfall has been covered by me and by the end of the year, things were squeaky. Roll forward to 2018 and I spent time looking into PPI claims for both of us as time is running out. His bank was swift and paid back a nice amount that just so happened to be close to the amount I loaned him to cover his tax. I was waiting for him to say "Thanks for the loan love, here is your money" but it was not forthcoming. He then starts looking at wheel refurbishment and muttering about being able to afford it now and I went bang. He says that because of the family allowance and the money he pays over I should be rolling in it. That the savings I used to sub him are only there because he pays in and that is all history now So doesn't count. Never mind that I work hard too, do 90% of the chores and household management etc.
Am I right to think that I am justified in being slightly miffed (how British!) At his attitude.
Well dine for reading this by the way!
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Has anyone got a spade?
20 replies
Jamiefraserskilt · 16/01/2018 23:26
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