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AIBU to not make my DS share in this situation?

(25 Posts)
kidfears Tue 16-Jan-18 15:00:15

Over the weekend my DCs received belated Christmas gifts from relatives who have never once sent a gift or card on time in their lives live abroad. DS9 got a drone and he is ECSTATIC. It’s a bit fiddly and has already been rescued from a tree once, but DS spent all weekend flying it with my DH and by now I’m reasonably confident he can fly it without losing it or hurting anyone.

In general, we have a rule that if there are friends coming over and one of my DCs has a special or new toy that they don’t want to share, we put it away in the closet for the duration of the visit, or leave it home if we’re meeting friends out. If they want to use the toy or show it off, they must give their mates a go.

This afternoon my DCs will be playing with our neighbours’ DCs at the park on our road, as they very often do, and my DS desperately wants to bring his drone to show his friends. AIBU (or rude) to allow him to bring it but not let the other children have a go? I usually try to be really fair to everyone and I hate it when parents let their kids lord things over other children. Our neighbours’ DCs know me well and they know I would usually make DS give them a go. But I’m just not comfortable letting other children fly the drone, as it could get lost or even hurt someone. I would feel really bad making DS leave the drone at home, but if that’s the right thing to do then I will. And TBH I can’t swear my DS won’t do any lording, though I will try my best. Also, if I make him leave it home today he will want to take it to the park tomorrow, and there’s a good chance we will end up seeing these same neighbours there anyway.

I know this is a first world problem but I really like my neighbours and I don’t want to be a dick.

Stompythedinosaur Tue 16-Jan-18 15:02:10

I think showing friends is ok, but it's not great for him to play with it and others only allowed to watch.

Notasperfectasallothermners Tue 16-Jan-18 15:02:15

I would be happy if you told my dc no way. Coz no way would I want to replace it if they broke it!!
Maybe tell ds they can choose the directions he flies it??

fleshmarketclose Tue 16-Jan-18 15:05:49

I would make him leave it at home as he can't very well play with his friends if he's either flying the drone or looking after it can he?

ZigZagIntoTheBlue Tue 16-Jan-18 15:11:22

I'd say leave it at home, I get ds to leave stuff in my room that he isnt prepared to share and remind him if he's taking bits out he must share. Maybe show them on a 1:1 basis if they come to yours singly?

MissionItsPossible Tue 16-Jan-18 15:14:14

Leave it at home.

1) It really isn't fair. They are still relatively new and I'd love to have a go at one but would find it boring after a while just watching someone else use theirs. Even more so as a child.

2) If he does let them have a go and one of them breaks it then it could cause problems.

3) Taking it to the park is completely different if you're going there anyway and happen to run into them so you wouldn't BU for that.

RicottaPancakes Tue 16-Jan-18 15:17:02

I'd leave it at home if his friends won't be able to have a go. Wouldn't let him fly it at the park either, unless it has a large open space with no people in it. You don't want it to fall on top of someone and hurt them! Or a dog to catch it etc etc....

bridgetreilly Tue 16-Jan-18 15:18:14

He should leave it at home, sorry.

user1493413286 Tue 16-Jan-18 15:18:25

I’d leave it at home; it sounds like a lot of hassle to take it and understandably the other children will want to play with it.
Also your neighbours won’t thank you for their children going on about wanting one when they go home.

Allthewaves Tue 16-Jan-18 15:18:43

Leave it at home. Hardly fun for his friends to sit and watch him fly his drone. Take him back to the park alone another day

Sirzy Tue 16-Jan-18 15:19:39

So either his friends will be watching him or playing without him then surely?

You either take it and have a “right all have a quick go” then you look after it or leave it at home imo.

raisinsraisins Tue 16-Jan-18 15:25:24

Leave it at home. My DS took his drone to the park, his friend played with it and it went too high, over the top of a nearby house, got trapped on the roof and we never saw it again. His friend was very upset, more even than my DS, and I wish we hadn't taken it to the park that day!

mummmy2017 Tue 16-Jan-18 15:27:32

I think this is a good way to make him and his dad , have me time.

Tell your son due the cost and the need to becareful with this item, you want him to only fly it with his dad.

It also means if anything happens his dad can sort it out...

HolyShet Tue 16-Jan-18 15:28:39

Leave it at home

I'd only let him use it with parental supervision anyway.

Different on a playdate with one other kid, they could both have a go.

chocatoo Tue 16-Jan-18 15:31:20

Best leave at home. I suggest you take the tack with your son 'what if someone breaks it'.

TeenTimesTwo Tue 16-Jan-18 15:31:39

Leave it at home.

Does he know all the basic rules for flying safely

I see no harm in having the rule that he can only lend it to other children under the supervision of an adult who knows how to fly it properly (ie your DH).

Sirzy Tue 16-Jan-18 15:33:58

Also there is a risk of him showing off to friends and forgetting his normal sensible approach - because that’s what children do sometime!

LalalaLeah Tue 16-Jan-18 15:34:33

If he takes it to show his friends he should let the other children have a go, but you and he should be fully prepared for it to get lost or broken.
I would explain that he must share if he takes it and the high risk of it getting lost of broken (or stuck in a high tree) and that might encourage him to readily agree to keeping it at home.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar Tue 16-Jan-18 15:45:19

He won't be playing with his friends, he'll be putting on a show. I'd make him leave it at home.

TeenTimesTwo Tue 16-Jan-18 15:46:26

I'd be more worried of damage to person/dog/building.

Model aircraft and helicopters, being harder to learn to fly have typically be done as part of organised clubs, so newer people get taught how fly safely by more experienced ones. Clubs again typically ensure insurance via BMFA.

Because drones are so easy to fly in comparison people are buying them and flying them any old place. Near misses with aircraft are happening because people don't fly safely.

Cindie943811A Tue 16-Jan-18 15:48:18

If there was an accident when your DS or neighbours DC were flying it and any of the children were injured there will be problems — a drone in the face can cause life long scarring — which none of the children are mature enough to foresee. I feel the suggestion that your son flies it only with his DF supervising is appropriate.
Other kids will be frustrated if they can’t get their hands on it, not much fun just watching your DS fly it so the play date would not be very successful anyway. If the other kids see your DS in the Park with his DF that is an altogether different scenario— can watch and your DH can impose the boundaries

LemonShark Tue 16-Jan-18 15:48:45

Definitely leave it at home. He might not feel confident enough to say no to the others in the moment, those things are expensive and very difficult to fly for a newbie so it makes sense not to be in the position of having to guard the drone from his friends. Plus he adores it and I'm sure he'd hate it to be irreparably broken or lost.

Knittedfairies Tue 16-Jan-18 15:49:45

You've made the rule that if your DS brings a toy he shares it, otherwise it stays at home, so stick to it.

I think it would be too windy to fly it here this afternoon; he may never see it again!

ObscuredbyFog Tue 16-Jan-18 16:06:55

Have you thought about where he can fly it? Has it got a camera?

Where can and can’t I fly my drone in the UK?
Seen some of that snazzy airborne footage on YouTube? Well, it’s probably illegal, as according to UK laws regulated by the Civil Aviation Authority, consumer drones (classed as those that weigh under 20kg) must be flown no higher than 120 metres, and kept at least 50 metres away from people and private property, and 150 metres from “crowds and built up areas.”
You’re also required to keep your drone in your line of sight at all times, and be aware of designated ‘no fly zones’, which most notably include airports and prisons.

In addition, you need to register with the CAA if you’re planning to use your drone for ‘commercial purposes’ – this may sound like it doesn’t apply to you, but it extends to things like monetising your YouTube channel or personal blog, however meagrely.

livefornaps Tue 16-Jan-18 16:13:02

Leave it at home.

Hope this doesn't turn into another "supersoakers" thread wink

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