Paid off mortgage

[iwant2know]

DH and I paid off our mortgage in November last year. We love our house, it's the perfect size for us and our 2 DSSs so we don't plan to move again.

We hadn't told anyone because it's no one else's business and we didn't want to come across as smug or up ourselves.

My dsis was over this morning and was in when a delivery person came to the door with flowers. I took them off the delivery person and put them on the coffee table and went back to the door to sign for them.

By the time I turned round Dsis had opened the card, which was from our bank congratulating us on paying off the mortgage. I didn't know they did this sort of thing.

Dsis got really upset, saying we should have told her, we hide this from her etc. For background she is older and has just started her mortgage after buying a house last year. She left shortly after.

I have just got back from lunch with a friend who I mentioned Dsis reaction to. She thinks we we're wrong not to tell people. We have acted like we have something to hide. Apparently everyone announces paying off their mortgages. It's a social niceity.

Aibu to think there is no hard and fast rule about this sort of thing? And we haven't done anything wrong.

[SavageBeauty73]

It's no one else's business! How bizarre.

Congrats

[SnowiestMountain]

Utterly ridiculous! Absolutely nothing to do with anybody else!

[araiwa]

You have a strange sister and friend

[thecatneuterer]

Your sister and friend are both totally mad.

[c3pu]

I have never ever heard of that. You don't publish your financial position for the world to see.

[PinkAvocado]

Well done on paying it off!

Weird reactions from your sister and friend!

[Namechanged36]

Very weird. I would just be pleased for my friend/relative if they told me that news.

Well done! And nice bank too

[Situp]

I have never heard of this.

Nosy of her to open your card too

[InDubiousBattle]

I once got chatting to a couple (a very happy couple!)at a bar buying a bottle of champagne because they had paid off their mortgage that day. I know my dad paid off his when he down sized and that in laws have paid off theirs. No idea about anyone else! I can't imagine why you would randomly tell people. Mind you some people, both on here and irl seem to know about their families finances in really quite intimate detail. She's probably feeling and little bit jealous and didn't know how to react to her jealousy.

[helenoftroyville]

Family finances are private matters, your DSIS was out of order opening the card addressed to you.

[Allthebestnamesareused]

No-one announces they've paid their mortgage off!

She is rude for opening the card anyway and jealous you are in a comfortable financial position

[OutToGetYou]

I don't have a mortgage, but I didn't 'pay it off' as such - I saved and when I split with ex he bought me out of our house on an agreed basis and that and the savings plus a small inheritance bought my house. Not sure at what point I was supposed to announce this!?

No-one sent me any flowers.

Anyway, they are wrong, no there is no rule nor any custom. In the UK we are renowned for being totally up tight about talking about money so no way would I expect anyone to tell me this!

[SuperLoudPoppingAction]

I would not be announcing something like this. I would be delighted (15 years to go) but would be aware it could rub some up the wrong way, as lots of people are struggling, some may have had houses repossessed or maybe had to sell and others may never see buying a house as a possibility.
I haven't announced publicly that I've bought a house for the same reason and I imagine it'll all feel a bit nebulous until, like you, we manage to pay it off.

I would find it upsetting for someone to react to me not telling them news in general, though, as I struggle with big announcements and tell people things when I'm ready.

[BrutusMcDogface]

Bloody hell, I think the issue here is that she opened your post! How dare she!?

Congrats on the mortgage, and as far as I'm aware it's nobody's business but your own!

[Todamhottoday]

Nothing to do with anyone else what your financial situation is with your mortgage.

Why should you announce you have paid it off to anyone? Does it affect them, no, does it bother them, seems so.

Let them get on with it and dont discuss it unless you want to and feel comfortable doing so.

Good for you, its a big deal to be mortgage free, nice of your bank to send flowers.

[swingofthings]

A social nicety? I think it is bragging indeed as it's the dream of most families nowadays. I will be in this position in a few months and we certainly won't be announcing it (looking forward to the flowers though) especially as most my friends are not close to be in this position, it would feel like rubbing it in their faces.

Your sister probably had a fit of envy. Hopefully she'll get back to you and apologise for her behaviour.

[letsdolunch321]

WTF was your dsis thinking opening your gift card!!!!

This is clearly something I have never head of ..... announcing paying off your mortgage.

I am gob smacked

[BarbaraofSevillle]

Which bank is this? They send you flowers and congratulations? Wow, I didn't know that .

Athough I think our bank will be opening the champagne when we eventually pay off our mortgage. We're not in any rush because the interest rate is 0.6% so they can't be making any money from it.

The only people who've ever told me they've paid off their mortgage was DM and DF, but it wasn't any particular cause for celebration because it was something stupid like £80 a month and they barely noticed it.

[HolyMountain]

I’d be pissed off about her bloody nosiness.

[boosterrooster]

That's ridiculous! It's nobody's business. Social niceties my arse. Would the same people care if you paid an electricity bill before it was due or cleared a car loan before the end of its term? Doubt it!

Congrats though, great achievement. Pity you couldn't enjoy it for long before others got involved/ upset for no good reason!

[Eilasor]

Well done on paying off your mortgage! Your sister and friend are both very strange. I had similar reactions when I inherited a (relatively small) amount of money and didn't tell anyone. I didn't want to boast. It wasn't from a family member so it wasn't like my siblings were also expecting it. People are sensitive about financial things, I've found.

[Tweety2067]

We paid ours off 3 years ago and was most disappointed there was no fuss made by the mortgage company (Nationwide)

Who did you pay yours off with?

Oh and why did your sister open a card addressed to you anyway? Cheeky mare!

[busyboysmum]

I wouldn't be telling anyone either as people can get very funny about such things. I told some close women friends when I had an unexpected inheritance a couple of years ago and one of them reacted in a very jealous way having a drunken rant about me once evening. It shocked me and made me very close about who I discuss my finances with.

[specialsubject]

She opened your card, talked a load of crap and then stalked out? Is she usually this childish?

Ridiculous.

[FizzyGreenWater]

How dare she open your card.

I'd fight fire with fire on this one and not contact her, then when she got in touch I'd cut her VERY short and say let's leave things for a while, I am still FURIOUS about you opening my post like that and being so utterly nosy - how DARE you, and how DARE you comment on whether I should tell anyone about our finances. Totally out of order!

She'll be playing the martyr at the moment, when she contacted me I'd make sure I got that notion out of her head pretty damn quick!

oh and I've never had anyone inform me that they'd paid off their mortgage! Really NOT a thing.