Snoring

[Dons1975]

I know I am being unreasonable after screaming at my do but I’ve been up since 1am with his snoring and my alarm goes off in 20 minutes.
He’s always snored but has got steadily worse Over the past few months to the stage it is keeping me awake most nights. He refuses to do anything about this. He went to the doctors about 5 years ago who ran tests and told him it was from his throat and there was nothing they could do, so now he thinks it’s a pass and I should just put up and shut up.
I am at the end of my tether I’ve tried earplugs and white noise (he complained about this said it woke him).
He will occasionally sleep in my ds bed and he comes in with me but it’s not a long term solution. He laughs and says there is no problem when I tell him I can’t do this anymore - but I can’t. Snoring is actually destroying my marriage .

[jennielou75]

Isolate ear plugs are a sleep saver. You can get them on Amazon.

[Poshindevon]

I totally sympathise with you. I have found snorers to be totally selfish and have no understanding of the sleep deprivation it causes their OH.
Have you recorded his snoring and played it back to him? Maybe then he will understand.
Is there somewhere else you can sleep? I dont believe its neccesary to sleep in the same bed as your partner especially if your being tortured every night by constant snoring.

[Poshindevon]

I forgot to say, you are not being unreasonable.

[Dons1975]

Unfortunately no. I’ve asked him to dig out the camp bed (I would but his tools etc are in the way and I can’t lift them!) but he said it’s not necessary.
I will look at the isolate earplugs - I have tried different ones but didn’t help.
Oh well suppose I better get up for work and just hope my day goes quick. Another thing making me irrationally angry is that he’s not working just now so can go back to bed after the school run. (He has worked a year without any holiday so can’t grudge him time off too much )

[kalinkafoxtrot45]

I would record him and play it back, and poke him awake every time. See how much he enjoys sleep deprivation.

[frasier]

It might be worth going to the doctors again, or a sleep specialist.

When they said it was from his throat, did they say whether it was a soft palette? There is a laser treatment that hardens up the palette.

Meanwhile, sofabed?

[Leigha3]

My husband wears a snoring device in his mouth that was purchased from Boots for £38, it's their own branded one so can only be bought there.

It works great, he got use to wearing it over time, I usually wash it for him before bed. The doctor was absolutely useless in helping him as well.

Some people who snore have a tendency to simply not believe their snoring is all that bad, cuz they dont hace to hear it. Try using an app to record your husband's snoring and play it for him.

[Dons1975]

@frasier I’m sure he mentioned something about his palette so will try again to get him to go back.
@leigha3 he had one of those devices before but said it made him feel as if he was choking!

He is definitely in denial has actually said in the past that it is my snoring that’s keeping me awake.
On way to work now in an act of defiance I’ve left every light in the house on and set up Alexa with a reminder every half hour! Childish I know but I’m very tired and it’s made me feel a bit better.

[cariadlet]

Is he overweight? My dp's snoring used to be so bad that he could wake himself up! I often work late and used to struggle to get to sleep if he went up to bed first.

He's lost loads of weight (over 3 stone) and hasn't snored since.

[frasier]

Definitely record him. Short sharp shock is needed if he is blaming you for snoring.

[frasier]

Also, if it is related to obstructive sleep apnoea it can be dangerous. He's not getting any younger.

[oldbirdy]

Same problem here. Dh also ignored it for years and years and got angry when I recorded him, said I was humiliating him. I started moving out and sleeping on the sofa every night. Ended up with a big row after which he finally saw that he hadn't done anything to try to rectify it. He bought various items, found the in the mouth thing felt like he was choking, but he now wears a strap under his jaw and round his head. It helps, but doesn't stop it completely. I can't wear earplugs as I need to be able to hear the children.
Totally get you about snoring having the potential to destroy a marriage.

[justilou1]

My husband has to get his tonsils out to stop him snoring. I have recorded him. In fact it's my ringtone for incoming calls from HIM. Subtlety is not my style. Unfortunately his brother had his tonsils out recently for the same reason. It was a long a difficult recovery for him, and now my husband is procrastinating about going to the specialist. I have pulled my son's fake samurai sword off the wall and threatened to do it myself.

[Situp]

YADNBU

There is a reason that sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture.

Dh's snoring has got progressively worse over the years. It used to be that he only did it on his back but is now doing it on his side too. He is also an unbelievably heavy sleeper so I can't wear earplugs either because of DCs.

I am 38 weeks pregnant with our third and although our first 2 are pretty good sleepers if there is a bad dream etc. They always come to my side of the bed as they can't wake him up.

He is also much worse after drinking so he is banned from our bedroom when he has been out to the pub.

This morning DD woke me at 2, then snoring meant I couldn't get back to sleep so I have been up since then. Totally hanging. DH is always very apologetic but has never sought to do anything about it.

When the baby comes, if the snoring wakes her up he will be out of the bedroom.

If we had enough space I would definitely go for separate bedrooms

[Dons1975]

Separate rooms would be amazing.
I’m going to sit down tonight and go over some of the suggestions here . Hopefully he takes heed as this can not go on.

[QuizzlyBear]

I have exactly the same issue do I sympathise - YADNBU!

My DH always snored a little on his back but if I turned him into his side he'd stop. Now however he's snoring on his side too and short of putting a pillow over his face (tempted at 2am this morning!) there's no way to stop him. I should admit that I'm a ridiculously light sleeper who needs virtual silence to sleep well so he automatically thinks I overreact to the noise he makes. Last night I tried a variety of things in my ears (nothing worked) and ended up in the spare room - I'm a zombie today on less than 4 hours sleep (I'm definitely someone who needs at least 7 to be functional).

I've been online researching ear plugs - the flare isolate ones looked good but the reviews suggested that they were no better than foam ones and hurt to sleep in. I just ordered some contoured earplugs from snorestore and I'll let you know if they make any difference!

[GreatDuckCookery6211]

Sympathies here OP. Dh has always snores and it too drives me to the brink of insanity. He's been rubbing Tiger Balm on his chest and temples for the past few weeks and this seems to have helped him. You can get it from Sainsbury's. Worth a try.

[slapmyarseandcallmemary]

I totally sympathise. It drives me nuts. My oh has been to dr, sleep clinic, has had an impression of her mouth done for a thing to wear at night to realign her jaw and stop the snoring. She won't wear it. She kept waking me & our baby with the noise of her snoring last night. Had a cheek to yawn this morning & say she was tired. I could have choked her. It's been going on for years. I could cry from frustration.

[SeaToSki]

Google Smart Nora, its meant to be very effective, particularly with heavy sleepers.

[Nitrobetty1]

DH snores - separate rooms has been the solution.