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"Accidental" messages

(101 Posts)
dinosaursgoroar Sat 13-Jan-18 19:06:50

My ExH keeps sending me texts that are intended for his new girlfriend 'by accident'
They are always full of soppy content and finished with hundreds of 'xxxx'

The things he writes in these messages don't really even make sense, telling her things that don't add up (Work times etc - I know his shift patterns due to contact with DS) and lots of messages have said things like 'missing you babe xxxxxx'

There have been loads of issues revolving around his new partner including her randomly messaging me with harassing and accusing messages which I never got to the bottom of it. He always says 'was half asleep' or 'didn't mean to send you that'

Now I'm pretty certain he's doing it on purpose for whatever weird reason of his, but AIBU in telling him that's it's not fair and it needs to stop? Although he keeps claiming he didn't mean to do it but I've had about 5/6 texts in the last 3 weeks. Does anyone even send texts to the Wrong person by accident any more?! Thoughts/suggestions please!

Alienspaceship Sat 13-Jan-18 19:08:38

Ignore, ignore, ignore. He wants a reaction.

TheQueenOfWands Sat 13-Jan-18 19:10:16

OMG, do NOT react!!

He wants a reaction! Do NOT give him one.

MidnightVelvetthe7th Sat 13-Jan-18 19:12:04

Yeah he's doing it on purpose, ignore! Depending on the circumstances he's trying to make you jealous/to make you realise what you're missing/make you think that he's perfectly able to get girlfriends etc etc

I don't think I've sent a text to the wrong person for years, certainly not on Whatsapp/Messenger etc as I have peoples photos in their profile!

anothersuitcase Sat 13-Jan-18 19:12:18

Bit desperate trying to "accidentally" make you aware how happily, giddily in lurve he is, sounds like all isn't rosy in the garden...

TiredBefuddledRose Sat 13-Jan-18 19:12:54

Mature response - Ignore it, he wants a reaction.

Immature response - Forward to new girlfriend

LokiBear Sat 13-Jan-18 19:14:03

I agree, ignore completely. He wants you to say something so he can accuse you of being jealous. Next time you get a text and he says that it wasn't meant for you, say; 'No worries, Id guessed you sent it to the wrong person which is why I didn't reply.' Then change the subject. It will be eating him up that you haven't got upset by it. He is a huge, massive twunt!

Scarydinosaurs Sat 13-Jan-18 19:14:04

Block him.

BastardGoDarkly Sat 13-Jan-18 19:14:39


flowers for you.

TheHodgeoftheHedge Sat 13-Jan-18 19:16:32

Is there any reason you can't just block him?

Mulch Sat 13-Jan-18 19:16:36

Don't give him the satisfaction or a response

Falconhoof1 Sat 13-Jan-18 19:17:45

I just this second sent a text to the wrong person so yes, it happens. But not as much as you're getting unless he has serious issues remembering name!

MiddleClassProblem Sat 13-Jan-18 19:18:53

I have sent accidental messages before. Say phone open on a conversation and I assume it’s open on my husband but if I pop a message to MIL asking her to get some milk. Worst one was WhatsApp group chat. DH was the messaging in group chat which I assumed was me directly and I told him something fertility related by accident thinking it was just us but then realised it was the wrong chat.

Never would it happen very often. Very much once it’s happened you’re super conscious of it.

Have you met/heard the partner’s voice? In my head she’s imaginary and he has a mannequin in the corner.

Squeegle Sat 13-Jan-18 19:19:25

Presumably she needs to have his number so they can arrange contact for DC, blocking would make that difficult

dinosaursgoroar Sat 13-Jan-18 19:19:28

I didn't think I was able to block him cause of DS? I'd love to but figured it would come back on me for trying to cut him off or something where our son is concerned? I dunno. I try to ignore it, but it seems like the more I ignore the more he sends?!

We split up over 18 months ago instigated by me due to his behaviour, remained as amicable as possible for DS and he has regular contact with him.

dinosaursgoroar Sat 13-Jan-18 19:20:39

And our names are totally different so not even like it's understandable. First letter of our names are literally opposite ends of the alphabet confused

Rainboho Sat 13-Jan-18 19:21:14

Oh I had this with ExH. He also managed to do it by sending one to DD hmm

I did tell him that he needed to pay attention to who he was sending messages to, because I could see he was using the same tricks as he had used when he was dating me and it was all a bit pathetic. It stopped after that.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira Sat 13-Jan-18 19:23:00

Think I’ve done it three or four times in the 15 years or so I’ve had a mobile.

I’d mute his conversations while DS is with you. You won’t get notifications but then unless you’re expecting contact you don’t really need it?

paranoidpammywhammy2 Sat 13-Jan-18 19:25:33

Forward them on to his new gf - seems the best option.

My ex is very keen to let me know how fantastic things are going with his perfect new girlfriend and their perfect life. I tell him I'm happy for him. Gush along with him.

ThisLittleKitty Sat 13-Jan-18 19:25:56

Well I'm taking it that when you were together he didn't constantly text you accidental texts? No? There's your answer.

Zelbie Sat 13-Jan-18 19:25:57

He maybe is trying to see if you have any feelings to him, perhaps he's regretting his new relationship?

Transfer that sim to a cheap phone and get a new sim to share with friends and family - that way you can chose when you read his texts and it's not an interruption into your day - you take back the control.

PoorYorick Sat 13-Jan-18 19:26:05

Ignore. Even just saying 'that wasn't meant for me' is a reaction and then he knows you're listening when he says 'oh how embarrassing for silly me to have accidentally let you know how much in luuuurve I am'. Ignore completely.

dinosaursgoroar Sat 13-Jan-18 19:26:49

That's what I was thinking... I've told him he needs to be more careful about who he's sending them to and he just shrugs. He has access at a set time every Saturday so theoretically I could block him every Saturday afternoon and unblock Friday night? In case of cancellation or something?

Knittedfairies Sat 13-Jan-18 19:27:03

Just delete them, and don't give it any more thought.

TSSDNCOP Sat 13-Jan-18 19:27:53

Sounds like he's got himself an imaginary girlfriend there OP hmm

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