To give up on parties?

[Notcool1984]

Another party with 8 yo stood beside me crying and not joining in.. should I just give up on accepting invites and have a nice weekend? He is shy and can't bring himself to join in sporty or group activities (although joins in ok at school, but still shy).

[Ohyesiam]

Do yourself a favour and give up. He will either grow to enjoy parties in time or he won't. Plenty of adults don't.

[Notcool1984]

Thanks needed someone to say that!

[Hmmalittlefishy]

I would give up but still offer him the chance.
Maybe when replying to invites if it is a friend of ds I would probably say 'sorry ds can't make it, he's a little shy for parties but would birthday child like to come and play and celebrate at our house one day after school'
Just to keep friendships open but on your ds' terms?

[Acopyofacopy]

Let your ds decide whether he wants to go or not. Whether you do or don’t attend a party should not affect the friendship.

It takes a while for the message to sink in, though. Dd frequently chose to do something because she liked the idea of it and regretted her choice every single time. It took many failed attempts for her to learn that X sounds marvellous, but she never enjoys it. She is now confident to not choose X. I know it’s vague, but it’s also outing!

[Notcool1984]

Thanks, problem is he always says he wants to go then clams up when we get there, there is nothing to be done , i.e. bribery, being firm, everything makes it worse :(