AIBU to go to this interview?(9 Posts)
The kind of work I do means that many of the jobs I've had in recent years have been contracts (motherhood has definitely had an impact on my career and job prospects but that's another thread).
I have to travel for work because I'm based somewhere a bit out of the way where there's no suitable work. I can't move (family close by provide childcare and DC settled in good primary school). I'm a single mum so I can't afford not to be working but often find myself without work between contracts. I would like a permanent job but they don't come round very often. If I tried a career change my salary would drop drastically and I don't know what I would do anyway.
At the moment I'm part way through a 6 month full time contract where I'm commuting over 2.5 hours a day. I like the work but barely see my DC and that's bad for them and for me.
I've been invited to an interview for a full time permanent job. My commute would be at least 3 hours a day - even worse for me and DC - but I would have security.
To go to the interview I would have to make an excuse to take time off from my current role, which is really busy. Really I need to save time off for school holidays so I get some quality time with DC.
Should I even consider going to this interview? If I don't I could be out of work again soon and kicking myself. If I got the job I would cry at the idea of being out of the house for more than 12 hours a day.
The commute is tiring but it's not seeing DC that's really bringing me down and making me wonder what it's all for anyway.
If you aren't prepared to change your circumstances, then this will be the case forever and a day.
A more secure job role will present itself, but the travel will make you wonder if it's worth it, but you don't want to move.
Bit of a vicious circle.
The commute seems like a deal breaker. I wouldn't go.
Could you move somewhere that was nearer to your new job, but still within reasonable distance of your family? If not, then there isn´t much point interviewing for the job.
I agree with Trash.
You can't have everything I'm afraid. You can't live out of the way because it suits childcare and school but expect well paid employment on your doorstep if you live away from a town/city.
Either move to where the work is, save time and money on the commute and get a perm job there or carry on as you are but that 3 hour daily commute will eventually drive you into the ground.
It is a vicious cycle and there is no solution. I just have to get on with it.
I did live in the city before as I thought that made more sense, but found DC spent long hours in childcare, I had no support at all so if I had a sick DC I had to take time off work, and I had to leave work on time every day (people tend to work late in my industry) to collect DC from childcare which did me no favours at work. I moved closer to family so that my DC would have less time in childcare and a better environment to grow up in. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.
Things will change when you DC get older. It might be a case of that for the next years you have to put up with a less than ideal situation work wise, but when they are older and more independent then you can look for a more satisfying job.
I was out up to 20 hours a day and over night. It was tough but we made the most of it. I was field based so could be travelling 4/5 hours one way (and in addition accidents/ roadworks etc).
I don't know the age of you dc, but mine weren't affected and I found once they got to Xbox/phone age, they didn't realise when I was home anyway. As long as they had their gadgets, food and were warm they were happy. We just made the most of the weekend and holidays.
However I had a dp which made things easier, I know, but he was out at 6am and not back until 7pm. I'm just saying, don't feel guilty about the hours.
Is the job something you could negotiate WFH a day or two per week?
Your alternative is to move to where the work is and use paid childcare.
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