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To say Nursery is beneficial before 3

(168 Posts)
Shouldnotwouldnot Fri 12-Jan-18 22:30:20

I know there are loads who argue that Nursery for those under 3 is negative and it’s always better to be with parents. However, anecdotally from friends I’ve noticed that children that have been to Nursery from a young age seem much more confident and, often easy-going than those who’ve been at home all the time. SAHM mums seem to say how hard their children find being away from them and socialising with other children whilst those who’ve been attending Nursery seem to throw themselves into these things far more easily.


dentydown Fri 12-Jan-18 22:32:47

I’ve sent my children to nursery and found it beneficial. They didn’t go full time, one or two days a week, but they did have fun and make friends. The nursery even picked up on my son’s Autism and managed to refer me to the relevant services.

lookingforthecorkscrew Fri 12-Jan-18 22:32:59

I think it doesn’t really matter at all, as all kids and their parents are different

Chchchchangeabout Fri 12-Jan-18 22:34:42

I'm not sure either way to be honest. Anecdotal observations aren't a very good way of proving a statement like that.

BarbarianMum Fri 12-Jan-18 22:35:24

Do you not think that the parents of shyer, more introverted children might be more likely to keep them at home?

PinkFluffyBlanket Fri 12-Jan-18 22:38:38

I found it really beneficial to let people parent how they choose too and not write threads about strangers childcare options hmm

ButteredScone Fri 12-Jan-18 22:38:45

I think anaecdotal stuff is really not a good way to judge. It is just confirmation bias.

From your post I would assume you were sending your DC to nursery because you had no choice and were therefore looking for reasons why it was better.

Kitsandkids Fri 12-Jan-18 22:38:59

People usually want to believe that their way is the best so those that use nurseries will say they're great and those that don't will say it's better to keep them at home/with family/with a childminder.

My personal opinion is that nursery can't teach my baby more than 1:1 attention from me can so I won't be using one.

Linguini Fri 12-Jan-18 22:39:00

My son needed interaction aged 2 so it was wonderful to send him twice a week. He made great fruens5and it advanced his development tremendously.
If he was screaming and traumatised about going I'd have kept him home but he genuinely loved it.

Shouldnotwouldnot Fri 12-Jan-18 22:39:10

barbarianmum not really, if you work you work!

chch I know that just thought it could be an interesting conversation

I have a theory - in the ‘old days’ children of SAHP would probably be looked after by a much wider group of people than now. Some children of SAHP now will be with their mum or Dad all day, every day which I guess is why they might find the transition harder later on

BigBaboonBum Fri 12-Jan-18 22:40:32

I sent my eldest at 2 and wish I hadn’t but I had to due to work. I think it depends on the child though, some kids thrive in that environment at an early and some (like mine) struggled and it caused a lot of anxiety

GingerIvy Fri 12-Jan-18 22:40:37

I think all children are different, and it's likely going to be more beneficial to some children and less to others.

Shouldnotwouldnot Fri 12-Jan-18 22:41:58

pinkfluffyblanket not at all no judgement here. Just interested in experiences

butteredscone partially correct in that my daughter goes to Nursery 3 days a week but I’m not trying to justify it to myself! She loves it there so much and has blossomed into a confident and friendly girl.

glueandstick Fri 12-Jan-18 22:42:17

I dunno. I’m a SAHM and my kiddo has no issue running off and doing stuff with other kids. Barely looks back at the toddler group we go to.

NewSense Fri 12-Jan-18 22:42:46

I do wonder if there is a general trend. My daughter, for now, seems to be totally bucking the trend, if there is one, as she's always been at home with me, but is totally chilled when it comes to being left with others for any reason. Even if I leave her in a nursery-type setting with random other kids for any reason (so like, maybe once a month or so I'll leave her in a creche for an hour whilst I do other things without her), she doesn't seem to bat an eye. Unless ill, and then she'll cry for me. But she's cried for me maybe...twice in her life?! (the rejection pain is real. I hoped to be more adored..!)

My niece on the other hand has been in nursery since she turned 2, and my brother has SUCH a battle getting her there, she cries and doesn't settle, hates being away from him or SIL... Even staying for a few hours with me is difficult - and we see them all the time!

So in my experience it's the opposite, but I am curious to see what people think, as I do wonder if I'm doing my daughter a disservice by being a SAHM (how ridiculous. Do all mums think they're screwing up their kids with every decision they make, or is that just me?!)

langa Fri 12-Jan-18 22:44:43

I've not noticed this at all. Yabu.

Shouldnotwouldnot Fri 12-Jan-18 22:44:56

newssense as long as you love and care for your children you’re not screwing them up I promise!

Ummmmgogo Fri 12-Jan-18 22:45:26

yanbu obviously a nursery will teach them skills and learning is always beneficial. I say that as a sahm.

but I also think toddler having a sahm is beneficial because it teaches a different set of skills than nursery can.

Itscurtainsforyou Fri 12-Jan-18 22:46:17

I've found this to be true anecdotally- and others have commented this about my children and some of their friends in similar circumstances.
But I guess all children/parents are different.

greendale17 Fri 12-Jan-18 22:46:41

From experience with my friends children there is a difference between those who have been to nursery from 1 years old to those that didn’t. Nursery ones are more outgoing, sociable and confident

duckdarlington Fri 12-Jan-18 22:46:43

Personally I wouldnt want to leave my child under the age of 3 in that much care of a complete stanger, If I could at all help it which luckily we have been able to do. A child under 3 cannot understand or stop if something wrong is happening to them, they also cannot tell us.

EB123 Fri 12-Jan-18 22:48:05

I don't think you can really generalise. I have never sent mine to nursery or school (we home ed) and they have no issue going off and doing things without me.

condepetie Fri 12-Jan-18 22:49:00

As a nursery/preschool teacher (have done both under 3s, over 3s, and preschools that take 2-4 years)...

It's massively beneficial. I've seen tiny, shy, anxious 2-year-olds who wouldn't even eat what their mum put in their lunchbox change into confident 2.5-year-olds eating everything and interacting with their peers.

I've seen 2-year-olds with speech impediments progress in leaps and bounds due to just interacting with so many other children.

I've seen the shyest little girl make strong friendships and learn how to socialise with others.

I've seen a girl with only rambunctious older brothers make friends with children her own age and learn how to interact appropriately with children her own age.

I've seen a very little boy with teenage sisters find his own friendships and learn how to navigate them.

I've seen a 2-year-old boy with zero English and zero social skills learn how to appropriately interact with children of his own age and older, how to ask for a snack and to go to the toilet, and how to speak basic English as his parents wanted him to.

Nurseries and preschools are beneficial for socialisation, and in the case of preschools, for preparing older children for school. That's far easier if they've been in that setting for some time.

gillybeanz Fri 12-Jan-18 22:49:39

None of ours went to nursery and they went straight into school fine.
I do agree that socialisation is important and that it takes a village to raise a child.
I suppose it's the same argument for/against, it works well for some but not for others.
I've seen some children with a sahm who would benefit so much from time at nursery, and those at nursery who would be better with mum at home.
Also, no two children from the same family are exactly the same and as they can differ so much, what works for one might not for another.

Shouldnotwouldnot Fri 12-Jan-18 22:51:34

duckdarlington what do you think is going to happen to them at a professional Nursery setting!? I could potentially understand the concern with a childminder but not Nursery.

Plus my 2.5 year old doesn’t shut up about her day in all sorts of detail.

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