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To think this is a hurtful thing to say?

(122 Posts)
Purplerain101 Fri 12-Jan-18 19:34:49

Was just talking about the stupid program ‘naked attraction’ with my OH (for those who haven’t seen it it’s a dating show where the person gets to pick between 5 naked people and they get shown their body parts bit by bit).
I said to him “would you pick me if you were on it and just saw my body and not my face?”
His response: “maybe if I saw your top half but definitely not your bottom half”. He wasn’t joking either and said it in a completely serious voice.
He’s now saying I’m over reacting for feeling hurt. AIBU?

gunsandbanjos Fri 12-Jan-18 19:35:59

I always go by the, don’t ask the question if you don’t want the answer motto.

Yes it was hurtful however you asked.

RedHelenB Fri 12-Jan-18 19:36:33

YABU don't ask this sort ofor question if you don't want a truthful answer

SugarNyx Fri 12-Jan-18 19:36:44

What a dick! Even if it’s true he’s supposed to lie. Men 😡

Faking Fri 12-Jan-18 19:37:36

That's harsh. But you did ask a question.

junebirthdaygirl Fri 12-Jan-18 19:37:49

Would you pick him for his bottom or top half??? It was a dangerous question to ask so need to be ready for reply.

Rebeccaslicker Fri 12-Jan-18 19:38:11

No. He said a hurtful thing to someone he's supposed to love.

I suspect he knows he was insensitive and that's why he's trying to tell you that you're overreacting.

FurCoatFurKnickers Fri 12-Jan-18 19:39:22

Never never ask a question like this unless you are prepared to get an honest, albeit, hurtful answer.

Would you pick him from his body parts if he were on the show?

Purplerain101 Fri 12-Jan-18 19:40:13

I genuinely would as he has a good body and he’s just my type. I shouldn’t have asked it as it’s just made me feel really self conscious now

Kimlek Fri 12-Jan-18 19:40:28

You shouldn’t have asked but he should have fibbed ‘Of course I would darling’. But at least he would have chosen your top half!

IJustLostTheGame Fri 12-Jan-18 19:40:29

Don't let him near your bottom half again until he learns to appreciate it.

BigBaboonBum Fri 12-Jan-18 19:41:30

What an arse

MikeUniformMike Fri 12-Jan-18 19:41:40

Never ask this sort of question. It will only make you worry, even if he said ever bit of you was the most beautiful in the world.

ragged Fri 12-Jan-18 19:43:23

I find that a compliment.
He loves you for you, wants to be with you for you, not your body parts. You have something not purely physical.

randyymarsh Fri 12-Jan-18 19:44:17

To be honest you did ask him and he gave you an answer. Also not to be mean but I've never understood why people always go on about honesty being important in a relationship but then freak when situations like this one arise. Yes he was hurtful and to be honest he could have phrased it better to soften the blow but at least he was honest? I wouldn't read too much into it if it was me but I understand why you'd be hurt

kaytee87 Fri 12-Jan-18 19:45:20

It was daft of you to ask, he should have been more sensitive. Aren't we always telling our oh's to be honest though?

grannytomine Fri 12-Jan-18 19:45:37

What an arse Is that what he said? wink

Figrollsnotfatrolls Fri 12-Jan-18 19:46:57

You should have said I would have picked u if your dick had been bigger. ...

Birdsgottafly Fri 12-Jan-18 19:47:14

That was a very dangerous question to ask and it shouldn't have been asked.

It's a dating/shagging show, not a 'who do you want to spend the rest of your life/have children with' show. I wouldn't have picked my DH out of a line up, or some of my ex's, depending on who they were up against.

He should have declined to answer or fudged it, but you shouldn't be put in a position were you have to outright lie.

BrickInTheWall Fri 12-Jan-18 19:50:02

Well I wouldn't ask that type of question unless you were prepared for an honest answer. I don't think he should have lied by the way. If I'm dressed up for a night out and I ask my husband how I look I want an honest opinion not a fob off.

Being honest if I was on the programme I probably wouldn't choose my husband's body.. even when we got together. That's not what I fell in love with him for though and I do find him attractive.

Purplerain101 Fri 12-Jan-18 19:50:34

Guess I was just a bit surpassed by his answer as I honestly thought he’d say yes as he’s never made me think he doesn’t love every part of my body. Definitely learnt my lesson to not ask something like that again as it’s made me feel crap.

Purplerain101 Fri 12-Jan-18 19:51:07

*surprised not surpassed

ThisLittleKitty Fri 12-Jan-18 19:53:53

I don't see it as a compliment as he is saying he would pick her for her body just not the bottom half of it so saying that parts not nice. Can't see that as a compliment? Anyway as other said you did ask...

Purplerain101 Fri 12-Jan-18 19:56:22

I think it’s more the way he worded it that I’m hurt by. “definitely not your bottom half” seemed very harsh to me. But I guess there’s no kind way to word something like that without completely lying

peachypetite Fri 12-Jan-18 19:58:27

Were you fishing for compliments? Generally it's not good to ask questions like that if you're sensitive!

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