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to not tell the school why we are leaving?

(58 Posts)
hellomonster Fri 12-Jan-18 19:12:09

NC for this.

DC has been identified as "able, gifted and talented". The school we are at has no provision for this (and in fact has been pulled up on the lack of provision in the last two inspections). We have asked and asked for some guidance/help but got nowhere so decided to look elsewhere. We are lucky (and over the moon) that DC has been awarded a scholarship to a school that differentiates and seems perfect.

My AIBU is that when I informed the school that we would be leaving, they were all of a flurry and asked why and want me to come in and explain my reasons. I don't want to have to go in and say the same things I've been saying over and over. It is not my place to tell them how to do their job or quote the inspection report at them. Is it?

Gilead Fri 12-Jan-18 19:13:24

Just tell them that you don't feel the school is meeting the children's needs and leave it at that.

frasier Fri 12-Jan-18 19:14:44

You have found a school that is a better fit. That's it.

IrkThePurist Fri 12-Jan-18 19:15:21

Yanbu, and given the history I'm amazed they are surprised. Its such a shame to waste a talent.

I hope your DC likes their new school.

whatsitallabout1 Fri 12-Jan-18 19:15:40

Of course you don't have to...but if it might improve things for other able children who are being failed and have less pro-active parents then why not?

worlybear Fri 12-Jan-18 19:16:45

Do what is best for your son.
The school have not met his needs. Don't be drawn into explanations.
Put him first.

DO3271 Fri 12-Jan-18 19:17:13

You owe the school no explanation at all. As long as they have it in writing your child is leaving and where he is going (for records exchange) they do not need anything else. I have withdrawn my son from a school and just told them where he was going and nothing else. They did question me in email but I never replied.

ForalltheSaints Fri 12-Jan-18 19:17:37

I think you ought to tell the school. It will not help your child but it may help another in future.

Jigglytuff Fri 12-Jan-18 19:18:36

How does this work? Who identified him as G&F and how?

Move him. Tell them they aren’t stretching him.

OlennasWimple Fri 12-Jan-18 19:18:53

Why wouldn't you tell them? I wouldn't spend time going in for a meeting, unless it was convenient for me, but picking up the phone or writing a short email isn't exactly onerous. I would send it to the Chair of Governors so that she knows the reason

windowdresser44 Fri 12-Jan-18 19:19:35

Who is asking you to go in? Presumably the head has been involved already..

I'd probably pop in after drop off, keep things simple and pleasant and just say you've been offered an opportunity you feel is more suited to your dcs needs and that the decision has now been made. Repeat as required.

You don't need to do this - but if the new school doesn't work out for any reason, it's probably wise to have as many options as possible.

Hope all goes well.

CherryMaDeara Fri 12-Jan-18 19:22:13

It might just be standard procedure. Don't go if you don't want to. They're not asking you how to do their job or to quote the inspection report to them.

JustCallMeJanet Fri 12-Jan-18 19:22:48

Who identified the G&T? In my experience it doesn't amount to a great deal.

HereWeGoRoundAgain Fri 12-Jan-18 19:25:03

See I'd take the opportunity to tell them exactly why I was moving - because individual teachers and the entire school management have repeatedly and completely failed to provide a suitable education for your child despite multiple meetings and opportunities. And that I would be informing the governors, the LEA, and Ofsted to that effect. I'd spell it out to them that they are the failures and that you are in fact relieved to have found a school that has identified your child's abilities and has a plan to help them meet their potential.

But I'm like that when there's no bridges left to burn.

BoomBoomsCousin Fri 12-Jan-18 19:27:16

I would be inclined to be a bit blunt and tell them that if they don't know after everything you've been saying for the last x years, you don't see how you can explain in one meeting now. Which stops you having to go in, doesn't give them an opportunity to try to persuade you to stay or to justify their previous (in)actions and but still makes it clear that that is why you are leaving.

Els1e Fri 12-Jan-18 19:30:39

You don’t have to but I think I would tell them (again). It might make them improve their offer. Well done to your child.

Hercules12 Fri 12-Jan-18 19:34:03

Does the school really care? Do you live in a fairly rural area where moving schools is unusual?

KungFuEric Fri 12-Jan-18 19:34:10

How have they communicated the request? It sounds to me like some sort of procedure, that they have to be seen to be asking and keep it on record.

PerspicaciaTick Fri 12-Jan-18 19:35:29

Why wouldn't you tell them?

traviata Fri 12-Jan-18 19:38:48

yes - why not just put it in an email?

Don't be rude, don't be cross, don't be sarcastic - just say that you have found that the other school can offer opportunities for DS and can differentiate in a way that School X didn't, so it will meet his needs as a G&T child better.

OnTheRise Fri 12-Jan-18 19:41:16

Email the school to tell them. And copy in all the governors, the LEA, and your MP. It's disgraceful that the school can't meet your child's needs.

Allthewaves Fri 12-Jan-18 19:46:26

Assuming the current school dc at doesn't have a scholarship then just say he has won a scholarship as they have a gifted and talented programme.

pinkdelight Fri 12-Jan-18 19:49:49

I thought the gifted and talented categorisation was binned years ago? I know schools should still stretch kids at all levels but don't think gifted is an official thing any more so not sure who has designated your dc that, unless it's the presumably private school where she's got a scholarship? Anyhow I'd just says she's got a scholarship so you're taking it up.

extinctspecies Fri 12-Jan-18 19:54:01

DS was identified as gifted & talented at primary school.

Then we moved from the state sector to the private sector, where he was just average.

And has continued to be just above average for the rest of his academic life.

Just saying. Don't set too much store by these labels - they don't really mean much.

quizqueen Fri 12-Jan-18 19:54:34

Congratulations on getting the scholarship and I hope it all works out well for your family. Schools should be helping gifted children as well as those at the other end of the scale with special needs. Just tell them you are moving to a better school for your child.

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