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I want to report him for insurance fraud - should I?

(19 Posts)
SMJYellow Fri 12-Jan-18 15:49:19

I live at home (for now) with my mother and brother. I'm in my 30s and my brother is 26.

For the past year, he became increasingly rude and completely obnoxious within the family home. He hardly speaks to me or my mother. He might have a few words for our mother but that's rarely and only with alcohol on board of him. Other times, he's just criticising her and giving out to her and shouting at her. The day after Christmas he got up looking for a particular shirt which turns out it wasn't clean which set him off in a storm around the house. What got to me was that he had other clean shirts in his room but he wanted the very short that wasn't clean. It was psychopath material from him. So fucking what his shirt was clean. He has other good shirts to choose from. It seemed to me as if he was only just looking for a row.

An issue came about for me within the family home. I think it's time for him to start paying his way towards bills. Bills come in and there are split down the middle between my mother and I. I was ok with this for a long time but he's in full time employment now for over 18 months and I think it's time.

This was an issue I brought up time and time again within the past few months. My mother said there will be changes come the new year and she will be getting him to pay his way. I knew in my heart and soul this was rubbish talk from her and he hadn't a fucking notion of even picking 5 euro from her little darling lord of her son.

I've been searching left right and centre for new work that would pay better, for accommodation too. I'm not fussy and a room to rent in a house share would do me. I'm having no luck to date.

I'm still at home and in this piece of shit situation. Paying left, right and centre on my low income towards household bills. He should be chipping in his share. He uses electricity for his TV and gadgets in his room, he has hot showers, etc. Paying left, right and centre for a rude prick that hasn't talked to me in a year.

He has money to help. He works so much over time. He must be getting the guts of 1350 to 1900 a month in wages if not more, after tax too. He does have a car but I did some rough estimates and it would probably be costing him 600/650 a month. The man has the money. He bought a TV for his girlfriend for a Christmas present in black Friday deals. I checked online the price and it was 250 euro.

Today, I learned not only is he going out tonight, he's also going away for a foreign break in February for valentine's day with his girlfriend.

This is not the actions of someone who does not have the money to pay his way. My mother is more than happy to be made a fool of but I will not stand for this.

The least he could do is have a bit of manners and respect towards the two that is keeping the show on the road at home but he doesn't have it in him. He's a dirty free loader and that's all he is.

Enough is enough.

I'm trying my best at getting out from this situation but I'm having no luck so far. During the Christmas I googled suicide methods just to permanently remove myself if this doesn't get better.


My brother is a callous b@stard and that's all he is.


He cheated insurance some years ago. I think it was around about 2012 or 2013 when someone drove into the back of his car.

He turned around and claimed whiplash even though there was nothing wrong with him.

Eventually in 2014 a compo payout came in for him, to the tune of 10,000 euro.

He didn't tell anyone in the family. He fecked of out abroad to Canada with some friends. My mother was left humiliated one day in the shop meeting the mother of one of his friends. The other lady said 'so and so (her son's name) is great at keeping in touch, Do you ever hear from your lad, she asked my mother? 6 months went by and my mother didn't hear from him once. My mother went rooting in his room and found the insurance letter with payout sum.


I've got a good mind to report him for insurance fraud. He's a dirty bum without giving any respect back in return. My mother is more than happy to put up with him and enable him. If he was out renting he would get a good dose of reality to smack him in the face. Of course this is never going to happen. Its too handy at home for him. He doesn't pay 1 cent, he gets his room and laundry cleaned by his mother while he turns around and abuses her at the same time.

I'm thinking he needs reality to smack him in the face. If he had to pay back that insurance sum, it would surely help in delivering that to him. Imagine, if he had to work to pay bills like the rest of us?

Figrollsnotfatrolls Fri 12-Jan-18 15:50:43

How do you intend to prove he did?

GlitterUnicornsAndAllThatJazz Fri 12-Jan-18 15:54:35

What the hell?

You need to move out.

You have an income.

Its piss easy to find a room in a houseshare.

LemonShark Fri 12-Jan-18 15:55:35

Omg: sorry if I'm wrong but you've posted about this many many times before haven't you?

LemonShark Fri 12-Jan-18 15:56:13

If so: you got plenty of advice on those threads. Nothing will change until you grow up and move out. You are unhealthily enmeshed with your family in a way that's doing you no favours as an adult.

Whambarsarentasfizzyastheywere Fri 12-Jan-18 15:56:53

They wouldn't have paid out 10000 if they didn't have proof.

Report him all you like but nothing will happen.

You're getting involved in things that aren't your business here.

You save up and move out and do what you need to do and leave your mum to deal with him.

Also stop looking up what he spends on things, you're over invested.

Nicknacky Fri 12-Jan-18 15:57:32

You have no idea if he committed insurance fraud and it's not as easy to get a payout as you think. Leave it alone and just move out.

Nikephorus Fri 12-Jan-18 15:58:37

Too late to report the insurance fraud. The right time to move heaven and earth and get your own home of some kind. Then it'll be up to your mum to decide if she needs the money from him or not.

CaptainMarvelDanvers Fri 12-Jan-18 15:58:57

You can’t control other people’s behaviour, you can only control your reactions to that behaviour.

hazell42 Fri 12-Jan-18 16:12:34

There is no way for you to prove he didn't have whiplash
There is no way for you to know that he didn't, in fact, have whiplash.
He sounds like an immature jerk.
You sound a bit immature too. Tell your mother you are not subsidising him anymore and will from now on pay one third of the bills. The rest is up to your mum

LyraPotter Fri 12-Jan-18 16:12:38

You can do it if it will make you feel better but I think you are unlikely to be successful. For a start, since the accident was several years ago it's not clear whether any claim the insurance company could make against your brother would have prescribed. I'm not sure where you are based, but this could be an issue.

Then, you would need to have proof that your brother had been fraudulent. Your word that he didn't really have whiplash won't be worth anything. What can you realistically provide that would be useful in this regard?

Finally, the insurance company really aren't likely to bother. Given that any attempt to claw back money from your brother would be very expensive to them, they are incredibly unlikely to act based on one call from a family member with a grudge.

You also have to ask yourself if you're prepared to live with the consequences, even if you are successful. How would your mother feel if you got your brother jailed? Would you be willing to risk losing her?

I would concentrate your efforts on getting out of what does sound like a toxic living situation and becoming independent. You'll be much happier, and your brother's awful behaviour won't bother you so much if it isn't right under your nose. Good luck x

emmyrose2000 Sat 13-Jan-18 11:20:12

I don't have any comment about the insurance, but I definitely recommend reducing your household contribution to one third. Maybe if your mother has to stump up extra she might change her mind about giving your brother a free ride. Although TBH, from the sounds of it she'll continue to subsidise him, but that's not your (financial) problem.

JustVent Sat 13-Jan-18 11:29:49

I’ve just read your other threads.

Your relationship with your family is utterly toxic. I can’t tell from what you have written whether it’s them, you, or all of you.

Either way, you know the answer is to move away from them. It’s not that hard to find a spare room. It’s only hard if you make it so.

What area are you living it? I’ll show you it’s easy to find a room.

Sweetpea55 Sat 13-Jan-18 11:33:46

The bill part is easy. Just divide it into three and give your mother your third.
Why the hell should you be paying for him

Oldraver Sat 13-Jan-18 11:42:45

Bit of a cheek for YOU to accuse your brother of fraud OP ?

JustVent Sat 13-Jan-18 11:47:39

Why is that OldRaver?

cheesypastatonight Sat 13-Jan-18 11:49:31

Why do you keep posting the same old story???

Bluntness100 Sat 13-Jan-18 11:58:12

You've posted on this before and what's pissing uou Off if I remember correctly is simply he doesn't contribute and your mum makes allowances for it. You and her split the bills. But he's an unpleasant character and he won't pay, so she'd have to chuck him out, which would still leave you in the same position of paying half.

When you're in your 30s it's time to move out your child hood home. Focus on yourself. Whatever happens with your brother you'll be paying half as long as you live there. There is no point reporting him, it's not like they say "ah thanks pet"and fire him a request for the money.

Nitrobetty1 Sat 13-Jan-18 12:08:55

You’re an adult. Move out.

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