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To be shocked by these bondage and escorting articles aimed at teenagers

(27 Posts)
EarlGreyPlea Fri 12-Jan-18 15:42:51

I’ve name changed for this.

I can’t believe what I’ve just seen. I’m trying to get some counselling for my 13 year old niece, and came across this website, The Mix. It’s targeted at 13-25 year olds.

The following articles are on there with no age restrictions and open for comments:

www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/having-sex/bondage-for-beginners-3925.html

www.themix.org.uk/work-and-study/self-employed/i-became-an-escort-to-buy-a-house-11442.html

www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/single-life-and-dating/fuck-buddies-3188.html

www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/having-sex/how-to-give-a-hand-job-3944.html

There are many other pages like this and also videos on YouTube. I don’t see how it can possibly be appropriate for 13-year-olds?! I’m in total shock.

Can I report this to somebody?

Nicknacky Fri 12-Jan-18 15:47:31

Who do you expect to report it to?

You are aware that 13 year olds have sex, right? Much as its content is more graphic than I would like my kids to ever have to be aware of, theses are issues youths face and I would rather they read literature that takes the taboo out of it and they are educated.

toolonglurking Fri 12-Jan-18 15:49:52

This is why you are supposed to keep an eye on what your kids are doing online.

DoinItForTheKids Fri 12-Jan-18 15:50:31

Well.

I can see why you'd be shocked.

But I also think that train has already left the station.

There are already two sources for 'what is sex':
1. Videos that are available to children of ALL ages with women thrusting their asses at men at every given opportunity
2. Virtually unfettered access to porn which typically depicts women as objects and with yet more violent and more extreme sex acts that young people can view as 'that's normal' (hence the rise in child on child sexual abuse).

I suppose, at least this portrays an interaction that's non-abusive; but I don't particularly like it!

If you can have videos on Pornhub and elsewhere with titles like 'Forced extreme blowjob on drunk out of it woman' and 'Watch stepdad f*ck his school-age stepdaughter' and that is legal, I don't think there'd be anyone or anywhere that you could report it who would even care.

Mary Whitehouse must be spinning in her grave! Whilst I'm totally opposed to the puritanical religion based 'let's all pretend no one has sex and babies just magically appear' school of thinking, overt sexuality has taken over - Christ, we've got songs like 'Swalla' which implies if a girl goes round to a guys house she'd better be willing to perform oral sex and swallow the results - and you can watch this as a 7 year old...

DoinItForTheKids Fri 12-Jan-18 15:51:27

When I say 'videos' I was thinking of music videos, that's what came to mind.

HemlockSpartacus Fri 12-Jan-18 15:59:19

I'm sure I've heard of that charity, don't they offer counselling and advice to kids? While there is a lot of awful stuff out there that children can access, it's not the same as having it marketed directly at them.

Hope this group aren't recommended by schools.

Snowbelled Fri 12-Jan-18 16:00:06

The site looks really good and having clicked on a few threads seem like sensible advice is being given. Agree about pornhub. Sadly if you google something innocuous the vile things you can dig up this is at least straightforward advice.

crunched Fri 12-Jan-18 16:02:16

I've now just spent 3.54 mins watching that 'Swalla' video DoinIt after reading the lyrics following your reference to it.
shock

I remember thinking 'Club Tropicana' video was a bit racy when I was 13!

PinkChestnut Fri 12-Jan-18 16:07:40

The comments under the sex worker one worry me. All those vulnerable girls/women/whoever they are saying they're desperate for cash how to start?

EarlGreyPlea Fri 12-Jan-18 16:22:03

But the train having left the station isn’t really an argument. I could say that my niece and nephew will come across drugs in the future, and maybe take them, so what’s the harm if I teach them how to take drugs now? I don’t think my sister (their mother) would be happy! It’s morally bankrupt.

Nicknacky Fri 12-Jan-18 16:30:59

Well, drugs are illegal for a starter and it's not a given that everyone will try drugs.

Sex on the other hand, very very few people never have sex so the more information the better!

therealposieparker Fri 12-Jan-18 16:39:13

If you click on the how to do bondage there's a handy link to a really vile sub/dom film called the table.

This website is all a bit "hey kids let's teach you have to fuck, get tied up, do anal and submit" it's so groovy and we, here at the MIX, really like telling you and thinking about you kids having sex.

This doesn't seem very different than those paedophiles who made a kids show about teen boys living with adults, so they could live with teen boys. It definitely does not feel right.

What 13 year old needs to learn about paying their way through uni with whoring? Or how to take two dicks?? Jesus.

And not that many 13 year olds will be having sex and those that are aren't looking up shit online, they're too busy being coerced into having sex.

DoinItForTheKids Fri 12-Jan-18 16:41:24

Oh believe me Earlgrey I TOTALLY agree that the train leaving the station is no excuse.

But I do think that schools and the government and the police and the justice system haven't got a fucking CLUE about any of this and therefore will apply resources to all the wrong places, and nothing will improve.

I don't think giving safe, honest advice on how to engage in sexual activity is inappropriate (so long as it's clear it's for children of the right age in mutually respectful, kind relationships) - I think the pervasive stuff on YouTube and the attitudes boys (mostly, but not limited to) learning about what women are for and how they should be treated and normalising rape and sexual abuse calling it 'porn' is FAR more at the heart of all that is wrong with our society and the sexualisation of children. This website you've found OP will be a drop in the ocean compared to that.

I'm with you though in essence if you're saying 'we should be doing something about it'. There SHOULD be something done to address the tidal waves of sexual sewage that are pouring across the 'developed' world at our children from younger and younger ages.

Nicknacky Fri 12-Jan-18 16:44:28

It's aimed at under 25's. People are implying it's directly aimed a 13 year old.

I wish we had imformation like this available when I was younger rather than listen to rubbish from boys and friends!

theconstantinoplegardener Fri 12-Jan-18 16:45:57

It's also illegal for 13-year-old to have sex, Nicky. I reluctantly agree that teenagers need high-quality information about bondage etc but I think it has to be done very carefully to avoid normalising it.

Doobigetta Fri 12-Jan-18 16:50:18

I didn't look at any of the sites it linked to, but the bondage page is pretty tame- why not tie each other up with toilet roll?- and it emphasises safety, trust, consent etc. Meh.

Nicknacky Fri 12-Jan-18 16:50:35

theconstant You missed my point. The op's comparison was stupid. Are we naive enough to think that underage sex doesn't happen then? Education is key.

LadyDeadpool Fri 12-Jan-18 16:56:54

Its for 13-25 year olds, they want to help protect the older users of the website too. The bondage explanation will be for them same as sex work its about supporting them to make good choices if they make the choice to have this sort of thing as a part of their life. They have to be able to support all ages.
Better to have a guide to safe bondage then for people to think 50 shades is the reality.

LadyDeadpool Fri 12-Jan-18 16:59:09

Also thanks for bringing it to my attention as it looks like a fantastic website with courses on enthusiastic consent and not having sex while drunk among many other important topics.

EarlGreyPlea Fri 12-Jan-18 17:02:46

Are we naive to think that underage drug use doesn’t happen either? You’re only calling my comparison stupid because you haven’t got a better argument.

Nicknacky Fri 12-Jan-18 17:07:09

Ffs op you brought drugs up by saying you wouldn't teach them how to take drugs. My point, as well you understand is that not everyone will take drugs, underage or otherwise, so it was a pointless comparison.

So, who exactly to you propose to report this educational website to in order to close it down and make it harder for youths to gain vital imformation that they might not get elsewhere?

DoinItForTheKids Fri 12-Jan-18 17:07:52

Yes, and we don't need to wonder how irresponsible our young folk have gotten (those of who went through the tombstone-shock ads for AIDS in the 80s were scared into taking better care of our sexual health!) but so many of our children / young adults are catching antibiotic resistant gonorrhea and spreading it all around. I feel that the specification of what constitutes 'safe sex' needs HUGELY reframing. As someone said on some other thread, we'll have a lot of virgin adults walking around in the future, but they'll have had/given oral sex and had/given anal sex! Trying to prevent pregnancy and sexual diseases that can be caught from vaginal intercourse is one part of it but there's a whole range of stuff out there that's going on (the switch being due to porn??) and they are just as at risk of unpleasant, scary sexual experiences and assaults with these as they are with vaginal intercourse - with high changes of 'catching something' (like gonorrhea, living in your throat - yeuch). We should, actually, in schools, be teaching not only about 'use a condom' and 'vaginal intercourse' but how to navigate these other sexual practices and, if condoms are needed for vaginal sex, then oral sex should also be conducted covered otherwise that's just plan stupid.No one should be green lighting uncovered sex and being naive enough to not set out the pitfalls of engaging in certain types of sex such as bondage. The reality is there's some horrible people out there and you need to know how to protect yourself - is that overtly stated in every guide on that website? Is safe sex?

Mistressiggi Fri 12-Jan-18 18:09:06

Does the site (I don’t want to click) state that it’s for 13+, ie underage children? I be shocked that the content described was necessary for 16 year olds either but at least it would be legal for them to do it. Teenagers need to learn about consent, safety and healthy relationships, imo, and that’s what the focus should be on, not bondage and sex work. angry
There is indeed much worse out there but if I heard of a site aimed at 13+ I would assume that without previewing it all myself I could recommend it to pupils as a good resource. This is not a good resource for an average teenager.

Nicknacky Fri 12-Jan-18 18:16:27

It's tag line is it for essential support for under 25's. It's also a charity apparently.

therealposieparker Fri 12-Jan-18 18:34:20

The blurb says 13, although speaking to a friend verbally the trainers said it was for 11 up.

For those who wished there was info when they were thirteen, what the fuck were you doing? Surely in one's early to mid teens they are not trying threesomes and safe words.....

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