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To think it's not that hard?

(254 Posts)
HashBrowns Fri 12-Jan-18 07:08:47

There's a girl on my Facebook who's been moaning that she hasn't got time to brush her teeth all day or wash her hair until her DP comes home from work in the evenings because she doesn't have a minute to herself with her baby. Her baby is 5 weeks old, I have 4 dc's and still manage to find time to brush my teeth and have a bath every day. Even if her baby doesn't nap in the day for her (which I doubt when he's 5 weeks, that's pretty much all they do) surely she can stick him in his bouncer fur 10 mins even if it's outside the bathroom door so she can still see him whilst having a wash etc...aibu?

DragonsAndCakes Fri 12-Jan-18 07:16:11

Some people don’t like to leave them to cry so can’t put them down.
You’re basically saying she’s lying or incompetent?

Sirzy Fri 12-Jan-18 07:19:30

It sounds like the poor woman is struggling to get used to things. Maybe a bit of support rather than judgement would be nice!

jimijack Fri 12-Jan-18 07:19:31

Why does this concern you and why are you being so judgemental?
This is her experience of having a newborn, they don't nap all day, hers might have colic and scream its head off morning noon and night.

HashBrowns Fri 12-Jan-18 07:20:48

She doesn't even have to put him down to brush her teeth, put him in a sling, or over her shoulder, use other hand to brush her teeth?

Lules Fri 12-Jan-18 07:20:58

Maybe her baby cries constantly. Maybe she’s very stressed or overwhelmed. Maybe she’s exaggerating for effect. Whatever the reason you don’t sound very sympathetic,

Situp Fri 12-Jan-18 07:25:18

She may also be suffering from PND which can make it really hard to do these sorts of things.

But if her Fb posts annoy you, just unfollow her. Then you don't need to know what she is or isn't doing

DragonsAndCakes Fri 12-Jan-18 07:28:00

Some people don’t like to leave them to cry so can’t put them down.
You’re basically saying she’s lying or incompetent?

jimijack Fri 12-Jan-18 07:30:18

It's fb, ignore it if it winds you up so much.
You are now describing how she should be doing things, don't concern yourself with how she should do things. Really, just ignore.

gamerwidow Fri 12-Jan-18 07:30:18

You’ve had your DC for years she’s has her DC for 5 weeks and is probably feeling tired and overwhelmed and is physically still recovering from the birth. Not that surprising really that you’ve developed better coping strategies. Why not try a bit of compassion instead of rushing to judge?

gamerwidow Fri 12-Jan-18 07:30:29

You’ve had your DC for years she’s has her DC for 5 weeks and is probably feeling tired and overwhelmed and is physically still recovering from the birth. Not that surprising really that you’ve developed better coping strategies. Why not try a bit of compassion instead of rushing to judge?

DragonsAndCakes Fri 12-Jan-18 07:30:35

Some people don’t like to leave them to cry so can’t put them down.
You’re basically saying she’s lying or incompetent?

Situp Fri 12-Jan-18 07:30:38

She may also be suffering from PND which can make it really hard to do these sorts of things.

But if her Fb posts annoy you, just unfollow her. Then you don't need to know what she is or isn't doing

newmumwithquestions Fri 12-Jan-18 07:30:44

It was only when I had ‘typical baby’ no 2 who was an absolute breeze that I realised that was what some people had for no 1, and that’s why they got a lot more done than me.

I did brush my teeth with no 1. She’d scream every second. Every time.

And no not all babies nap away from you. Mine would scream herself to sleep eventually in her pran if I was walking fast enough. Or she was being held I could rock/cuddle her to sleep. If I stopped/put her down she’d then wake up!

It’s a massive shock to the system for some of us. So you can judge, or you can live and let live.

AnachronisticCorpse Fri 12-Jan-18 07:32:31

I know what you mean. My SIL used to say stupid shit when her Ds was younger, like she couldn’t make a sandwich for lunch with him there so she had to go and buy a sandwich from Pret every day. Because that’s the simpler option confused.

Some people just love to be dramatic martyrs. Smile and nod.

mustbemad17 Fri 12-Jan-18 07:33:12

Not all babies sleep constantly. My first did nothing but scream. Until she was like 2. I had bad PND & yeah, actually getting to brush my hair & teeth was a bloody major achievement at the beginning! Why so judgy???

timeforabrewnow Fri 12-Jan-18 07:33:27

As you've had 4 children you are obviously quite superior in all ways (and sound it)

Perhaps show a little compassion and/or kindness or if that isn't possible - then don't follow her on Facebook as she doesn't seem to be much of a friend.

creamcheeseandlox Fri 12-Jan-18 07:36:44

YABU. Don't judge someone based on how u found it. I had PND and was so overwhelmed and uptight about everything I found I didn't do the most basic tasks when my dd was a baby. I was anxious about everything and couldn't stand her crying so used to hold her the whole time. Looking back I thing "how didn't I even have time to shower or do my hair" but that's coming from different eyes....a bit like u.

sparklefarts Fri 12-Jan-18 07:37:13

Well aren't you a judgemental delight.

Before I had my baby I thought I would be able to get stuff done whilst he or she sat happily in the bouncy chair. That was naive. Some of us end up with babies that do nothing but scream. And five weeks after birth, with a screaming baby and possibly the beginning of PND (no sleep and being screamed at all day..) yes it feels like you cannot get anything done.

CheapSausagesAndSpam Fri 12-Jan-18 07:37:34

I was like that with DD1.

It can happen. I was very anxious and couldn't leave her.

implantsandaDyson Fri 12-Jan-18 07:37:58

star you’re parent of the week - well done. Honestly why does it bother you what the woman writes on her own FB wall. If she irritates you - hide her, unfriend her. Surely with 4 children you know that some things you can just let fly over your head?

sparklefarts Fri 12-Jan-18 07:38:41

Oh and your kind of judgement only makes anxious new mums feel even worse.

Rainboho Fri 12-Jan-18 07:39:39

‘At five weeks old that’s pretty much all they do’

Maybe your babies.envy

ElenaBothari Fri 12-Jan-18 07:39:41

If she’s your friend, maybe you should be offering advice or support instead of being bitchy about her.

That was my experience at 5 weeks with my eldest. Some babies are harder to deal with than others and if she’s still really hormonal she may not be able to stand the crying if she puts him down. If she’s still recovering from the birth she may not be able to manage holding him in a sling while brushing her teeth.

Try to have a bit of empathy.

Lucylululu Fri 12-Jan-18 07:40:26

I am still waiting for motherhood to get to be as difficult as people make out it is! I never leave my baby to cry but even with always seeing to him I still have plenty of time to get myself ready, work from home, do the shopping, etc. I feel like people always go on and on about how difficult, stressful and exhausting motherhood is and while I know it is like this for some people,I don't think it's fair the way people bang on about it as it only serves to scare the shit out of expectant new mothers! What people should really say is the truth - all babies are different. Some are demanding,some are very easy! But it seems like an unpopular thing to say, almost - that you're not tired, not having a hard time, have found it all very simple. People seem to take it as an attack or a brag, so I find people with easy babies tend to speak about it less (unless someone else brings up how easy their baby is). So then of course it's only the people with difficult babies being vocal, which is all expectant mothers see, so they're freaked out! At least this is what it seems to be like in my town.

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