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So incredibly lonely and depressed

(16 Posts)
sunflowerstanding Thu 11-Jan-18 14:08:42

Not really an AIBU but figured it's the best place for responses and I'm desperately in need of some friendly human interactions (sorry)

I'm a single mum to a 3 year old, with a baby due in April (I'm very happy with my LO's they're the only things that keep me going)

I had a job and was at uni but since splitting with my boyfriend my MH has taken a really bad turn. I stopped going to work and university about a month ago and am now in a seriously stupid tricky situation. at the moment everything can be resolved but I'm struggling enormously to be productive. I'm just so so sad all the time.

I went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago and was prescribed anti depressants but they make me so sick I can't take them, I then got a different one prescribed which also makes me too sick and so I've just given up on that end.

I only have support from my mum really who's dealing with a lot of her own problems at the moment but she is an extreme source of help to me, she's my best friend.
I don't have any friends other than her. She doesn't know I've stopped going to uni and work and I dread to think how ashamed she'd be of me if I told her. I know I need to grow a pair of balls and get back on track with everything before I lose my job and get kicked off my degree but I'm struggling so much to be productive. The only thing I can manage to do is be a mum at the moment. Everything else is so overwhelming.

I'm so sad. Sad that Me and DP broke up and he's off on a jolly with numerous other ladies and partying. Sad I'm pissing my entire life down the toilet by not doing everything I need to. Sad that I can't even manage to be productive for my wonderful kids who deserve the world. Sad I have no friends despite really trying to make an effort to see them, they don't respond to my messages anymore, I don't see them anymore.

I'm just a SAHM that cannot afford to be at all when just a couple of months ago everything was going SO well. And now I'm sabotaging it and pissing it all up the wall.

How the fuck do you get out of a rut like this.

Knittedfairies Thu 11-Jan-18 14:14:28

Please go back to your GP to get some anti-depressants that don't make you sick. Contact your university to see what support they can offer you. If you're managing to be a mum through all this, you're doing a good job. Are you sure you can't confide in your mum?

Hang on in there OP.

ApproachingATunnel Thu 11-Jan-18 14:14:45

I think first step is to go to GP and get your meds changed.
Then join something like a toddler morning at a library, they are free. Get chatting to someone, invite them for a coffee/an hour for kids to play and go from there.
You won’t be stuck in this situation forever so you need to ride it out until things and your mood picks up.
Do nice things with your 3 year old like book reading, lots of snuggling together.
Perhaps your uni has some sort of support group as well?

WellAlwaysHaveParis Thu 11-Jan-18 14:16:03

I'm so sorry to hear you feel like this OP flowersflowers

What do you think about asking your GP about counselling? That might be a good alternative if the medication made you unwell flowers

In the meantime, what do you think about doing little things that you think would improve your mood? E.g. you could make a list of things that you normally enjoy doing. This could include things like going outside in the fresh air for 5 or 10 minutes can help, or going for a short run of walk. You can adapt any activities you think of to the amount of time you have to spare.

With university and your job, what kind of job or work would you like to do? Have a think about what kind of job you'd like to do and what you might need to do to get to where you need to be.

Aside from all of that, you're doing SO well flowers being a mum to two children isn't easy at all by any stretch of the imagination, and you're doing a great job flowers.

Hang on in there, and keep posting. We're here for you.

wolfmom Thu 11-Jan-18 14:17:25

Firstly thinking of you, the little ones will help you get through this. Secondly I have been on anti depressants for a few years and if I'm honest the first month was he'll, but, I persevered and they help a lot (Not a miracle cure, but, alleviates it) book a double appointment with your gp and be totally honest about your mood and problems with the medication you tried. Ask if they know of local support groups and request referral to counselling or psychiatrist. You took the hardest step admitting you need help to cope, but, medication can be a bit hit and miss to find the right one(s)

ApproachingATunnel Thu 11-Jan-18 14:20:28

And speak to university about why you struggle, im sure they wouldbe supportive. Much better than not telling anyone and then missing deadlines. Shit happens, you won’t be the first student in a tricky situation and they might be able to help you.

HarrietSpecter Thu 11-Jan-18 14:22:53

Hi OP, I'm on anti-Ds, mine made me sick, so I take them just before bed with a snack, the nausea passes overnight and then I'm fine through the day.
I hope this helps.
I was in a very very low place in October, and after a couple of weeks I wasn't crying anymore, and I feel that I can cope much better.
It's a long road, but with the right help you'll get there.
Seriously try the snack and tablet before going to bed, if I hadn't done this, then I wouldn't have stayed on anti-Ds
Much love to you 💕

bibliomania Thu 11-Jan-18 14:27:34

There should be lots of support available through your university - contact student services immediately.

VladmirsPoutine Thu 11-Jan-18 14:28:16

Anti-depressant medication is not an exact science. Please consider going back to your GP.

With regards to university did you receive any pastoral care - I'm presuming should you wish to restart your studies your place will still be open.

I will tell you that it's ok to be sad and grieve the relationship and the life you were 'suppose' to have. But circumstances have changed and they will get better. It will be a long road but even just posting here to admit this is in many ways a great first step. flowers

HarrietSpecter Sat 13-Jan-18 17:01:32

How are you OP? 💐

sunflowerstanding Sat 13-Jan-18 23:39:14

Thanks so much for all the lovely and helpful messages sorry I didn't respond I just still feel quite overwhelmed with everything.

I feel much better but still haven't sorted anything out at all. Its my birthday in a couple of weeks and I'm aiming to have everything back on track then. Because I feel so much better I think I'll start being a lot more productive over the next couple of days and work on getting back on track with uni and everything.

Haven't progressed at all with the anti depressants, sadly (am planning on trying to take them at night with a snack though it's just building up the courage because terrified of being sick all day no matter what, thank you for the tip though @HarrietSpecter )

SukiStinks Sun 14-Jan-18 00:38:07

MIND offer free counselling and other therapy services, they may be able to help, or point you towards help? I used their services for a year after being continously suicidal, partly due to isolation and feeling so alone after having to stop work. They were brilliant.

GOOD Luck, and I hope you find help.

Igmum Sun 14-Jan-18 00:58:44

💐💐💐 Hi OP, the uni will probably have a good counselling service, your GP may have more help. Try to do nice things for yourself even if just for 5 mins. Good luck 💐💐💐

hollowtree Sun 14-Jan-18 01:01:46

Trying to get in the shower was a challenge for me during my darkest hours of depression.

You are a hero flowers

Fascinate Sun 14-Jan-18 02:41:59

Small steps. Just do one thing each day, even if on day 1 it's write a list of things you need to do 😀 Each small win will help you feel better.

Student services/student support should be helpful, my daughter was suffering at uni and got a great deal of help from them.

Your meds are important, and should be close to the top of that to-do list. As PP have said, it can take a while to get them right, so please don't think that you won't be able to get that sorted. Your GP will help, please go back as often as you need to get it sorted.

Also, consider asking your GP for a referral to some therapy, maybe CBT, as that can be really useful not only in getting your head back on track but also in helping to stay mentally fit and well.

Don't hide your problems from your mum, she sounds amazing and unconditional love is just what you need right now. You could maybe take the opportunity to let her know that you are there for her too.

Take care, get well and know that there are people out there thinking about you.

MsTwix Sun 14-Jan-18 03:05:04

Sorry you are feeling this way.
Hang in there, things will get better. Take one day at a time.
Go back to your GP to discuss other antidepressants medications and counselling support.
Speak to your midwife, they probably can suggest some local support.
Try and get out each day, go for walks/the park with your LO, have lots of cuddles reading/playing.
Be open with your Mum ( she has her own things going on, but I’m sure she’d want to be there for you)
Contact your Uni Student Services, they will help and support you.
Take care.

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