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Interview tomorrow but I'm broken

(165 Posts)
Dailymailshutyamouth Wed 10-Jan-18 16:34:28

I've got a big interview tomorrow for something I've always wanted to do since graduating.

I've prepared but I just feel so anxious. I feel like they'll laugh at me for thinking I even have a chance. I can't stand my voice and I feel like I'm rambling.

I feel broken this week. I've had a hellish time since breaking up with my narc ex, being sucked back in and then dropped again this weekend. I feel like crying all the time, I can't eat properly. And the worst thing is I can't speak to anyone about it because they're all saying they knew he would leave me again.

I feel like when i go tomorrow they'll just knock me back and so there's no point. Aibu to ring and cancel ? 😔

MavisPike Wed 10-Jan-18 16:39:35

Don't cancel
They wouldn't waste time interviewing you if they didn't believe you could do the job
Don't let your ex zap anymore of your energy
He has no power over you anymore
Head high & a fresh new happier year
Good luck for tomorrow

EnFlique Wed 10-Jan-18 16:40:05

Don’t cancel! They obviously think you’ve got potential or they never would have invited you for an interview anyway.
You can do it flowers

lasttimeround Wed 10-Jan-18 16:43:11

My approach to things I have anxiety about is to do them if at all possible.
Can you lower the stakes for yourself and see it as making new contacts etc rather than about getting the job? There's lots of positives that csn come out of 'failed' job interviews. Snd they wouldn't havd shortlisted uou if your application was laughable. That's your anxiety speaking snd shutting it up is good.
But I guess only you know what you can cope with. Giving in to my anxiety generally makes it worse. Good luck with deciding

Emmageddon Wed 10-Jan-18 16:43:18

Don't cancel the interview, this could be just the thing to get you back on your feet again. You say you've prepared, so that's brilliant. Everybody, without exception, gets anxious about being interviewed,especially for a job they have always wanted.

Draw a line under your relationship. That's in the past. The future is what counts now.

Sort out your interview outfit, plan a nutritious breakfast for the morning, make sure you have all your documents/portfolio ready to take with you. Get an early night tonight - then go and smash it tomorrow.

Good luck. You can do this.

chickenowner Wed 10-Jan-18 16:43:49

Don't cancel!!

Do some research about the company/role/position/ or whatever. Read through their information, your CV and your covering letter or application form.

Try on your interview outfit and have everything set out ready for tomorrow.

Have a bath or shower.

Have something light to eat.

Have a cup of hot chocolate/herbal tea/decaff coffee.

Have an early night. If you can't sleep listen to radio 4, radio 4 extra, a podcast or an audiobook so that you relax.

Good luck for tomorrow. Getting this interview is a step towards your new life, whether or not you get the job.

smile

allthgoodusernamesaretaken Wed 10-Jan-18 16:45:45

Don't cancel. Best case, you get the job. Worst case, you don't get it but at least you get interview practice.

Everyone is nervous before interviews. Hopefully, you'll be OK once you get going

Flev Wed 10-Jan-18 16:46:53

Firstly, hugs, it sounds like you've had a really rough time recently.

However, if you ring and cancel tomorrow you will be making it a 100% certainty that you will not get the job. What you're feeling is a mixture of the normal nerves, overlaid with your recent experience - understandable but not helpful right now, so you need to change the mental tape.

You have got as far as interview, which proves you are not useless, or deluding yourself. No interviewer would waste their time or yours calling you in if they didn't believe you might be the person they were looking for.

Grab a piece of paper, and write down how you're feeling. Now, underneath that, list the evidence you have for thinking these things are true. Your next challenge - what evidence do you gave that they're not true? Have you exam passes, praise from colleagues, past job successes...? When you're done, look at the feelings again - do you still believe you can't do it?

You CAN do this. I'm not guaranteeing you'll get the job, but you deserve the chance of this dream coming true. Go get 'em!

fiorentina Wed 10-Jan-18 16:46:53

It may feel totally overwhelming but try and use it to focus on the positives about yourself. Sit and note down things you’ve done well, projects at uni, work or in your personal life that you can use as examples of how good you are, and to show how you can achieve. I once had a job interview when my DC was only a few months old, I was shattered from redundancy and new born childcare, being out of the workplace mindset etc but focusing on what I know I could do, really really helped. An early night, good food, and leaving in plenty of time all help. I do take Rescue Remedy if I’m feeling anxious it may only be a placebo but if it helps me, that’s fine in my book. Good luck and things will get better.

BulletFox Wed 10-Jan-18 16:49:17

No cancel.

One of the best interview tips I heard was practising answering questions in front of a mirror so you see exactly how you come across.

Think of yourself as being a panther and prowl into that interview room! Good luck!

ObscuredbyFog Wed 10-Jan-18 16:50:10

Do not cancel under any circumstances.

This is a great opportunity, embrace it and see where it leads grin

MaximaDeWit Wed 10-Jan-18 16:53:10

Definitely do not cancel!

Go to the interview and the worst that will happen is that you aren't offered the position. Seriously, how likely is that they are going to blackball you from ever getting a job you want ever again? You'd have to do or say something pretty insulting and awful for that to happen.

You sound like you have your head screwed on and have at least enough self awareness to know what is and isn't appropriate in an interview! The problem you have is your nerves and I totally empathise with that.

TheFrendo Wed 10-Jan-18 16:54:00

...and try to s..l..o..w down. Give yourself time to think, consider your answer and form a coherent reply.

MaximaDeWit Wed 10-Jan-18 16:54:57

Sorry, posted too soon.

You have already got further than other people by being selected for an interview!

Just try and prepare and get some clear examples of relevant behaviours and experience in the front of your mind but take your mind off it with something else - cook a meal, go for a run, etc.

MaximaDeWit Wed 10-Jan-18 16:57:09

I'm sorry you've had a rubbish time with your ex. Going for this interview is a step in the right direction for you.
I'm sorry there is no-one you feel you can confide in about the latest breakup. Can we help?

OutThereToo Wed 10-Jan-18 16:57:43

Sometimes the best things come out of the worst times. Hang in there xx

BiscuitsWithEverythingPlease Wed 10-Jan-18 16:57:51

Please dont cancel, amd dont let your ex win. You are not broken. Maybe sad, and upset, but not broken. Try telling yourself that you are excited rather than anxious. The two feelings provoke the same adrenalin rush so if you realise its a natural reaction and re-focus on feeling excited it might help. Think of it from a different perspective... youve always wanted this so its a grwat chance to find out more. You are intested to hear what they say. Remove the pressire...if you dpnt get it, then use it as a learning and find another opportunity to do what you want. So sorry to hear of the tough time you've had. If it was that toxic, he has done you a favour to find someone who will trwat you right. Till then, believe in yourself. You may not like your voice, but the people you meet will also have hamg ups about themselves too as none of us is perfect. You've got this! Pull your big girl pants up, smile and go get it. Yesterday is done, tomorrow can be whatever you want it to be. This is your time... 😉

BiscuitsWithEverythingPlease Wed 10-Jan-18 16:59:46

Great chance... sorry, fat fingers and crap at typing!

Tstar27 Wed 10-Jan-18 16:59:59

I interviewed 8 people in November. Sure, some of them were very nervous and made a few mistakes but myself and the other panel members did not think anything of it. It's an extremely nerve wrecking situation, so who wouldn't be nervous?! You need to believe in yourself and believe the panel want you to do well. Remember they don't want you to do badly.

Have a positive frame of mind, speak slowly and treat it as an opportunity to speak about yourself!

BiscuitsWithEverythingPlease Wed 10-Jan-18 17:00:45

Crikey...sooo many typos. 😀

IrkThePurist Wed 10-Jan-18 17:02:06

You've got past 800 - 1,000 other people to get an interview.

Take something or wear something that stands out, like a brooch or scarf. When they discuss the candidates, they can say 'the candidate with the green scarf'. You wont just be a faceless suit.
Research the company and have a reason to want to work there- their achievements and ethics, for example.

Smile, deep breath, slow down. And good luck flowers

millymollymandy46 Wed 10-Jan-18 17:05:17

Great advice here. DO NOT CANCEL. Go. Be Yourself. Sincerity is the most important thing. And take a deep breath and simply answer what they say. Less is more and they will think more of you for being sincere and considered. All you need to do is get there on time and look as if you can do the job - dress how you would dress to pitch up on the first day. If you are someone they can see themselves working with then why wouldn't they choose you.
If you don't get the job - well this happens and there will be a next time and with hindsight you might see that it was for the best or even that the person who got it had more experience than you.
But - you can do it. Even if you don't get it you will be proud of yourself for pitching up. And if you do get it - well the best revenge is to live well. And..with no boyfriend to muck you about you can concentrate on being really good at this job.
Get your clothes out, know how you are going to get there on time, have a bath and some sleep and GO. Really good luck.

Ironmanrocks Wed 10-Jan-18 17:05:59

I applied not so long ago of a job I never thought I would get. I was interviewed and got myself worked up same as you, and I didn't sleep the night before. But weirdly on the day, when I got there I had this strange sense of calm, as I kind of decided I didn't care if I got it or not. I did care - it was self preservation. There was another lady there who knew the boss etc etc - it was my worst interview nightmare. But after feeling quite detached, they actually called me back for a second interview and I got it. Interviewers see through nerves, don't worry. And good luck of course.xx

Loonoonow Wed 10-Jan-18 17:07:29

It is so hard to get to interview stage at graduate level so you have achieved a lot already. Maybe tomorrow is the day your luck changes and you land the job of your dreams? Good luck. flowers

StrungOutMummy Wed 10-Jan-18 17:08:32

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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