I developed late onset epilepsy around age 20. In all I have had 5 full on fits, I think grand mal if I recall correctly? Anyway after my 5th fit they did tests etc and as I said, I have epilepsy, and also get complex partial seizures.
They put me on Sodium Valproate, around three years ago after the tests. (The much covered Epilim in the news). No full fits since then, but I still get complex partial seizures on an on/off basis, these are split second seizures that make my face twitch and hard to physically talk at times. Before medication and the fits stopping, these would ramp up massively until I had a fit.
Anyway I now live in Paris, and over here they wont prescribe it to me as its French policy unless very very last resort. So he put me on something else. Ever since, my complex partial seizures have been increasing to the point I just KNEW the new medication isnt working, and even told my fiance this morning that its extremely likely a fit is very due.
Well timing couldnt have been guessed better because I just had one. Luckily was in bed with migraine (the irony of being glad of that), and not walking on tiled apartment floor, or in the bath. I dont know how long I was out for so dont know exactly when it was, just that I woke about two hours ago, or just less, but no idea how long I was out for.
Since then I have been in a state of pure fear and adrenaline. Heart racing, too scared to go to the toilet or get a valium to calm me down because anxiety increases the complex partial seizures and im terrified of another. And a valium would help.
Anyway I eventually went and did those things, and I was sore all over when I walked. Also bitten my tongue which always happened. All my other fits didnt result in an immediate secondary one, they were, oddly, spaced roughly a year or so apart.
Anyway my point is (sorry for long background) I am absolutely terrified out of my mind. The valium is helping a little, in that my heart isnt going so fast but my fiance is at work, I cant really call him home considering I am actually ok. And he wont get home til late.
And im terrified to the point of tears and panic. Please handhold? I feel extremely vulnerable. Yes its unreasonable to post here but I need traffic for support and these fits, I am a very fearless person but they scare me beyond my wildest nightmares. Especially since I havent had a fit in years. Please help?
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AIBU?
I know this is AIBU but im terrified out of my mind need handhold; health related
45 replies
LadyInParis · 10/01/2018 13:46
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