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Ambu to be tired of In laws buying fake Christmas presents?

(151 Posts)
thiskittenbarks Mon 18-Dec-17 20:53:14

I feel an important preface to this is that my FIL and his wife are very wealthy - as in each family member is getting a brand new Porsche for Christmas(and not that it's relevant but DH didn't grow up with this wealth as his dad ran off and started a new family as soon as he came into money).
Every year they buy us fake designer stuff for Christmas/ birthday. Bad fakes. No harm is done, but I'd rather have a primark handbag than a very obvious fake Dior bag. It's a bit of a waste as I'm simply never going to use them.
When we had our son they got him some fake designer clothes and toys that were from China (ordered off a random website). I felt really uneasy about it (having previously worked in product safety I know that counterfeit products can be genuinely unsafe and toys that don't meet regs can contain lead and all sorts). DH asked them not to do this, as they might not be safe. But we've never said anything about the fake clothes / bags for us.
It does bother me though because I know they would never dream of wearing the stuff themselves. I've been shopping with them loads and seen SMIL spend serious money on designer clothes for herself and her children (my BILs and SILs from FILs second family). Not that that means that she should spend that type of money on us on us but I just feel like its a bit of a slight. They clearly think we are too poor to know that a real Gucci bag probably doesn't come with a headache-inducing stench of polyurethane.

We never know how to react either - are we supposed to pretend we think we have been gifted a real Prada handbag (even though it's stuffed with Chinese newspaper)?? It's really uncomfortable but we tell them every year that they shouldn't spend so much (and that they needn't get us anything at all).

As much as I dislike them, the bad fake handbags don't really do any harm. But this year we received quite a few expensive candles from them. I know they are fake as I've looked at them alongside some from the same shop that I have bought myself. Also the brand don't even make this scent.
I feel like this is a fire risk and I actually feel really annoyed about it. She talked about it as if it was real and I would have though it was if I didn't have several real ones at home to compare it to. I would have assumed it was safe. I feel like she's put my house and my children at risk of fire. Just buy me an aldi one - they smelled exactly like the real deal.
AIBU / AMBungrateful?
I don't know how to stop this madness. It's such a waste of money and I can't even donate the stuff to charity shops as they can't sell counterfeit goods.

Mumsnut Mon 18-Dec-17 20:55:01

Ask for the receipt - say you'd like to change to a different colour / scent ...

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Mon 18-Dec-17 20:56:47

Are they on FB? I'd post a thing about the dangers of counterfeit/cheap candles etc.

Allthetuppences Mon 18-Dec-17 20:58:44

It is an appalling waste. Maybe some refreshing "we've decided not to do presents, so don't bother, we're tired of 90% not being to our taste and ending up in landfill". Or say, I'd rather have a book voucher than a copy of a handbag that's not to my taste. But. You need to be saying this around Feb and build up a positive change. Start talking about big house clear outs, decluttering etc.

Bubblebubblepop Mon 18-Dec-17 21:00:05

Sorry I know it isn't funny but this has really tickled me. Cheeky buggers.

KungFuEric Mon 18-Dec-17 21:00:05

I'd be blunt and say it's insulting and you don't want to support the fakes industry, it goes into funding criminality.

JoJoSM2 Mon 18-Dec-17 21:00:56

They’re really weird. Who buys such tat for a present? I’m surprised you haven’t called them out in it. I’d probably make a comment that the stuff looks ‘quite convincing’.

WishingOnABar Mon 18-Dec-17 21:01:41

Tell her you lit the candle and it kept going out so you want to return it to the store for replacement, and will need the receipt.

She will likely lie about why she cant provide it but may think twice about fakes in future in case she is put on the spot again

MayFayner Mon 18-Dec-17 21:02:27

Give them back to them next year.

lauramcr Mon 18-Dec-17 21:03:41

I just don’t understand why you haven’t spoken to them about this?

I don’t think it’s that they think you’re stupid and thus believe that the fakes are real, it’s because you haven’t said anything so they assume that you believe that the stuff is real or that you’re satisfied with it. You’re reinforcing them

I’m sure if you casually mentioned you know that the presents are replicas then they’d stop buying them? Just say exactly what you’d say here, you’d rather cheap high street that imitation designer

Smeaton Mon 18-Dec-17 21:04:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Splinterz Mon 18-Dec-17 21:04:33

Counterfeit goods often fund terrorism, prostitution, drug running and its another avenue for money laundering.

Bunbunbunny Mon 18-Dec-17 21:04:45

Yeah regift them back

meredintofpandiculation Mon 18-Dec-17 21:06:16

"Dear FIL, thank you so much for the imitation XXXX candles. Isn't itwonderful how close they can make them look to the real thing? Such a shame we can't use them - you'll have seen the official warnings about the fire risks of imitation candles. Still, it was a kind thought"

Are imitation candles a greater fire risk than real ones? Ah, well, learn something new every day.

Can't charity shops sell counterfeits if they're clearly marked as fake?

thiskittenbarks Mon 18-Dec-17 21:06:20

I feel like saying the candles burned our house to the ground, we've lost everything and I need the receipt as part of my legal case against the perfume/candle magnate 😂

meredintofpandiculation Mon 18-Dec-17 21:07:17

Ah - just seen the cross poss re counterfeiting and money laundering

Maelstrop Mon 18-Dec-17 21:09:42

Not to mention the sweatshop element of fake Chinese goods. I think I'd confront or let them know in some way that you know they're fakes. I would tell them you'd rather have cheapo unbranded stuff than Chinese fakes. Watch the faces drop. I wonder if Mil is telling fil it's all good stuff?

mumonashoestring Mon 18-Dec-17 21:10:42

Sounds like they've been ordering from somewhere like - endless tat sold as 'silver' or ' designer' or similar. Is it possible, particularly if they haven't always had money, they're fondly thinking they've nabbed a bargain and they're just not looking carefully/not very good at recognising fakes?

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake Mon 18-Dec-17 21:11:32

Just smile and say enthusiastically 'ooh what a good replica, it's quite realistic isn't it' and then just look at them for a second too long.

perfectstorm Mon 18-Dec-17 21:13:23

You aren't being ungrateful at all. They are being arseholes to your poor DH - what a way to let him know how little he is valued.

MudCity Mon 18-Dec-17 21:13:46

I would send them a message saying thanks for the gift but did they realise it was a fake? Tell them you are just letting them know as you hate the idea of them being ripped off spending money on counterfeit goods, especially when they may be unsafe. Tell them that perhaps they will want to take this further as they have obviously spent good money on counterfeit goods!

Maryz Mon 18-Dec-17 21:13:46

Is your dh not getting a family Porsche then?

HeebieJeebies456 Mon 18-Dec-17 21:13:47

why can't you just be straight with them?

They think so little of you anyway it won't really matter when they strop off after being outed for buying you fakes?

xmasgrinch Mon 18-Dec-17 21:14:32

I'd be irritated they think you are a fool who doesn't know the difference. It's mischievous but have you considered tipping them off confidentially and very kindly in a 'I don't want to make a fuss and obviously its nothing to do with me but I'm concerned you're being ripped off as I know you'd only by us a quality product' grin

MikeUniformMike Mon 18-Dec-17 21:14:53

YABU. You should receive the gift with gratitude. You are obviously very grabby. How very dare you expect a gift at all.

I have seen fake designer handbags in charity shops. They are funny. They usually look completely fake. Some look moderately realistic though.

Just accept them and give them back to them next year, possibly in upmarket carrier bag/wrapping paper. It's the thought that counts.

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