I've inherited some money from a great uncle, as has DD (whose 2). My money alone is enough to buy a house with a mortgage but with DDs could buy us a 3-4 bed house in the town we're in now (aka near both families, DDs Nursery etc) outright or with a very tiny mortgage.
DD has a few extra needs, and may need to live with us for the rest of her life. The Will stated that if the money was going to be used to directly benefit DD we could ask the solicitors permission to use the money and he'd made a decision. The solicitor has been told about DD, her extra needs and feels my plan to buy a house which DD would directly inherit after my death --because even if she can't live in it, it would help pay for her care/a small flat for her-= is a good plan so has given me permission to use DDs money.
DH and I have been married 2 years in April (got married when DD was 10 months old). We currently live in a small but lovely housing association flat on the ground floor. I'd happily stay here if it hadn't been for this opportunity. DH works full time, I work but mostly from home (going to the office once a month or so) so I can be around if DD has a fall or whatever at Nursery and I need to pick her up.
DH wants us to get a mortgage, using the money from my GU as a deposit and get a 5 bed house. He says he wants to have the space to be "away from us" (DD and I). He keeps going on about having a gaming room for himself and being able to invite his friends round every week for a drink in "his room". He's on about having his mum and dad down next christmas and still having room for his best friend - his parents live 5 minutes drive away and see us at least once a fortnight and have never expressed a desire to stay with us, his best friend lives in the next town but has slept on the sofa bed in the living room the last two christmases (and will again this year) from Christmas Eve until Boxing Day.
He's a great dad generally, often takes DD for "father-daughter" time on a Sunday, does half all the chores, helps with the cat, he's pretty good at DIY, and he takes DD to Nursery in the morning on the 3 days she's in even though it's the opposite direction to his work. So I do feel this is a joint decision.
I've told him i don't think that's a good idea. If we got a 3 bed and needed a tiny mortgage it would cost us less than our rent costs us per month - we currently pay £300pm rent, a mortgage would be about half that, whereas with the 5 bed will easily cost what we're paying in rent now plus a bit more we can afford for our "rent" to go up a bit but I'd be worried about other things such as bill increasing as it's a bigger place. Plus we'd also have to maintain it like we don't have to here, so if the boiler breaks it's our responsibility not the Housing Associations.
I don't want to override his decisions and come across as controlling just because it's my money, we're only 26 and 28 so this is a fantastic opportunity and he'll be paying half the mortgage if we end up needing one but I'm trying to future proof our investment. If the worst was to happen to DD and she needed care I feel as her parents it's our responsibility to pay for as much of that as we can, so I'd sell the house and downsize. 3-4 beds sell a lot easier here than 5 bed+. We're still not sure if we want other children yet so our focus 100% needs to be DD and her potential future needs.
So who's being sensible here me or DH?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
WIBU me or DH?
98 replies
VerityRarity · 18/12/2017 12:33
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.