To have emailed school

[wheresthel1ght]

Dd (4) is asthmatic, her attacks present as coughing fits. I have told one of her teachers (change part way through the week) and is on the form I had to fill in so they could have her inhaler in school.

This week she is particularly bad as a result of the weather. She had a massive attack at school and ended up being sick. Her class teacher informed the office and asked that I was contacted to collect her or bring in a change of clothes as they only had a summer dress and it has been - 2 at its warmest most of the week. The office never contacted me so dd had to endure the whole day including outdoor play in aa bloody summer dress. The teacher also didn't give her her inhaler although she did say dd had asked for it but they assumed it was just a cough so didn't give it to her.

I am quite cross, I have issues with the office staff which may be tainting my opinion somewhat. But I emailed Friday to say I was not happy and that it was unacceptable in my opinion that I was not contacted and dd was not given her inhaler. I told them I want an explanation tomorrow as to why their own processes were not followed.

A friend who's kids go to the school mentioned something this morning about being annoyed at the office staff and i mentioned I have emailed as was cross and she thinks I have been massively out of order. My email wasn't rude, was stern in its tone but polite.

So wibu?

[Chilver]

People can die from asthma, so no, you were not out of order at all!! In fact, i'd being talking to them further about their procedures to ensure it doesn't happen again.

[Situp]

I am usually very sympathetic towards school staff but this seems awful to me.

A child in my son's primary school died of an asthma attack on 2014. The idea that the teacher withheld the inhaler because as a non medical expert she overrode the request of your daughter for me is shocking.

[wheresthel1ght]

@chilver as a sufferer myself the severity does really worry me especially as they ignored dd requesting it.

The GP has only recently agreed to it being asthma although I have been asking for treatment since she was about 3 months old as she has a constant wheeze and her breathing at night is iffy but they kept saying it was just a virus etc and wouldn't treat. This year they have accepted it is and in the space of 5 weeks she has gone from having just a reliever to being on a preventer too

I am livid at the teacher for jot giving her inhaler but even more so with the office staff for not calling me. I could have told them to give her her inhaler then and collected her!

[TheHauntedFishtank]

YANBU at all! I would also want to know why the teacher didn’t query why you hadn’t turned up after asking the office to contact you. They need to sort out their asthma policy and communication ASAP.

[wheresthel1ght]

@situp I am usually of the opinion they do a hard job and deserve a bit more leniency. There is a history to the office staff being obstructive dating back to before she started and trying to arrange visits etc hence the sudden attack of "oh shit have I been" that" parent"

[BubblesBubblesBubbles]

I would have been fuming. Not just a little like explosively. Asthma kills.

If I were you I’d be going into the office as well.

My son is asthmatic and he also coughs, he needs his inhaler every couple of hours in this weather. Luckily I don’t have idiots questioning me about when and how much.

[Willowthewhisp]

YANBU
Could she keep an inhaler on her and take it herself? This is what I did at school and managed fine, just in my bag, if I needed it I took it. I don't see the reason for anyone else to be holding on to her medication, particularly if they aren't giving it out. She can then tell teacher she's had to take it, would like you called etc.

[wheresthel1ght]

@bubblesbubblesbubbles I was on Thursday at pick up hence waiting til Friday and sending an email... I didn't trust myself to call or go in as I was livid. Losing my rag wasn't going to do me any use. Emailing it meant I could rewrite several times to get my point over without sounding like a raving mad woman.

It's ridiculous because they normally send texts about the most ridiculous things. Ie "x bumped her knee on the table, cold compress applied, happy to be back in class" and yet when something serious happens they don't utter a word!

[CommanderDaisy]

Be that parent, and feel no shame for it.
My son has chronic migraines that if not dealt with at the earliest signs, descend into days of vomiting, pain and tears. He has to be taught to manage them himself and treat at an early stage so he can return to class after a period of rest and medication at school ( neurologistics orders in case anyone narks up at the "cruelty" ). He was 9 /10. I had teachers refusing to let him go to the sick bay, sending him home when he asked for meds - all sorts of stuff contrary to the care plan. Point to note - he won't die if not treated like your DS.

My suggestion regarding my reluctance to be that parent, was to be really polite, really persistant, and not stop emailing , visiting and calling till they got the message.All while smiling sweetly and repeating at nauseum. There was no yelling. It worked.

[CommanderDaisy]

ack...neurologist.

[wheresthel1ght]

@willowthewisp unfortunately their policy is it has to be locked away. Plus she has to take through a spacer and she can't hold it and press the canister down so needs an adult to help.

I am already arguing with them over their epipen policy and the HT was not overly impressed when the school nurse backed me up. They insist the epipen is kept in a locked box in the school office which is often unmanned. Her classroom is the opposite end of the school. She has anaphylaxis to a particular fruit, she doesn't actually need an epipen as it just has to be avoided but HT wants her to have one, I have pointed out it is pointless as their policy means she would be dead before they got it to her so not allowing the fruit in the classroom in the first place is the safest option

[Kaykee]

Your poor daughter, also quite scary. Do you have an asthma nurse? Perhaps ask if she/he could educate School on asthma etc, or maybe the school nurse.

My son has asthma, initially his was a persistent ‘asthma cough’ & increased work of breathing rather than a wheeze/tight chest so I downloaded an asthma plan from asthma uk and gave it to school and chatted to ds teacher - he’s now p2 and 6 and his asthma has changed so I updated his plan to suit and talked to his teacher re this.
Asthma is scary, I’m a paediatric nurse and look after very sick children with asthma regularly so am quite on top of my sons care at home and at school as I’ve seen how bad things can be if not handled correctly, perhaps a bit neurotic about it tbh but it scares me trusting others with something that could be quite serious.

So do a plan - asthma uk have really good ones you can add to it
Send a spare set of clothes in bag - my son also has some other bowel/toileting issues so has these so he has his own things to change into.
Talk directly to teacher(s) office staff and head if needed - mine are very approachable and really good so am lucky but it’s important to have made sure they have the information and recognise if you’re dd asks for inhaler she must get it and they should observe that she might need it if she’s coughing but doesn’t ask.

I’m sure I’m probably a pain but rather that than be worrying that my ds is at school unwell and they don’t know what to do or don’t recognise it. P1 teacher had asthma herself so was great with ds - knew to remove him as he didn’t like people seeing him get his inhaler and was interested in his cough and made me feel confident leaving him.
Anyway hope you speak to School and they can put your mind at rest xx

[wheresthel1ght]

Miaow - just bare in mind that once open they only last a month so probably worth replacing the school one anyway! I need to reorder dds today thinking about it!

[Bambamber]

Are the school aware that when her asthma presents as coughing, that is just as serious as when asthma presents as wheezing? I've had problems over the years because I don't have the typical asthma wheeze, But when I start coughing I can get into real trouble really quick. I think people expect to see certain symptoms when an attack starts, and if they dont, They don't realise how serious the situation is.

[HarveySchlumpfenburger]

YANBU at all. I think they need to tell you exactly what they are going to do to prevent this happening again. And you need to sit down with both teachers and explain about the coughing and that an asthma attack won’t necessarily look like what they think one looks like.

[RainbowWish]

My daughter is asthmatic and her school forgot her inhaler. Like your daughter hers starts with a cough. I ended up having to give her mine as no one was any help.
I was furious. I spoke to her teacher at the time. I spoke to the office and told the head teacher to get back to me. Which she did and tried to through everyone end her granny under the bus.
Asthma is life threatening. You where being a mother. I would phone the school on Monday and say you expect the head to phone you to discuss this further.
Please don't feel worried about protecting your childs health. You can't get them back once they are gone

[ChoudeBruxelles]

I’d be livid and would have been waiting outside of the heads office to speak to them. I be asthma and it’s scary having and attack

Complain to the chair of governors.

If she was older I’d say just give her an inhaler to put in her bag and ignore the school rules

[MorvaanReed]

Ask for an asthma action plan and give a copy to the school asap. This stopped the PE teacher arguing with DD when she wasn't fit enough for PE after a cold last year.

[wheresthel1ght]

@kaykee ohh fab thanks I didn't realise that asthma UK did an adaptable plan, will get one printed ready for the new term. I had expected them to do one at school as they have a plan for her eczema as that is quite extreme and under specialists for treatment.

I get that it is a new thing and with 18 kids in the class the teacher has made a snap judgement without thinking. But for the office staff to have ignored her request for me to be contacted is unacceptable. I would have been able to remind them this is how her asthma presents and to insist her inhaler was given.

[MorvaanReed]

And go in and see the head, e-mail or whatever you think is appropriate.

[BrizzleDrizzle]

Miaow - just bare in mind that once open they only last a month so probably worth replacing the school one anyway! I need to reorder dds today thinking about it!

What only last a month - the blue inhalers?

[ChoudeBruxelles]

Blue inhalers last longer than a month

[PurplePillowCase]

that school policy is schocking
emergency medicines (inhalers, epipens) should always be close to the child, never locked away.
maybe allergy uk or asthma charities have advice you can send the school?

[VerityRarity]

YANBU. My DD is 2 and has been hospitalised with Asthma Attacks, and chest infections as a result of not having the inhaler.

Thankfully her Nursery are fantastic and are more over zealous and give the inhaler when I wouldn't necessarily give it but at least they care and I'd rather they gave it when unnecessary than worry it's not needed and her end up in hospital.