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CF SIL

(40 Posts)
gingertom11 Sun 17-Dec-17 18:10:31

Long time lurker - first thread of my own so be nice!

Ok so I don't know if IABU here as SIL has form for CF-ery and I might have become hypersensitive to it - could list loads of examples but that would make this post v v long. She basically seems to think the world revolves around her and everybody else is there as and when required.

She's just sent a text - 'can you or DH take me in town on Friday around 4pm if I leave my car at yours? Got my works night out'.

'Town' would be a 14-16 mile round trip for us depending on where she wanted dropping. It's around leaving work time on the Friday before Xmas when roads are bound to be horrendous - roads pretty bad anyway in and out of our town. We also live on a direct bus route that would take her into the centre of town quicker than I or DH could take her as there are a lot of bus lanes. She could also drive herself into town and leave her car in one of the many 24 hour car parks. It was my works night last night and that's what I did. WIBU to obviously say no but to also add a sarky reply along the lines of 'are you taking the fucking piss?' Or maybe 'my pick up fee is £4 and it's £3 per mile thereafter'.

We have the first lot of a constant stream of visitors arriving Saturday morning for the Christmas period so we'll probably be rushing around getting the house ready etc, which she knows full well.

So generally about ready to lose my shit with her but don't want to go gung ho into it if I'm just overreacting due to her previous form...

SootSprite Sun 17-Dec-17 18:12:27

I’d be tempted to just send something like ‘ha ha...er....no chance’.
Not your circus, not your monkeys. She’s an adult, she can figure her own route out.

RichmondAvenue Sun 17-Dec-17 18:14:33

She sounds just as CF as my SIL.

ModreB Sun 17-Dec-17 18:15:03

What would she do about coming home, if she left the car at your house?

starzig Sun 17-Dec-17 18:15:54

Tell her OK then before she gets there open some wine. When she arrives go 'Oh dear, I forgot, just had wine and can't drive. You'll need to get the bus'

lurkingnotlurking Sun 17-Dec-17 18:16:15

"sorry no. Have fun." you really need to ask if yabu?

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sun 17-Dec-17 18:18:08

Why the drama. I’d text and say “no, afraid we’re both busy” and leave it at that.

Asiaticlily Sun 17-Dec-17 18:18:33

Could you not respond from a different angle and say “sorry, we won’t be able to take you in but you’re welcome to leave the car at ours and get the bus”

*this will only work if your house is more advantageous in terms of getting a bus

happypoobum Sun 17-Dec-17 18:19:15

Is she DH sister or your brothers wife?

I think it's fine to answer for yourself and DH if she is the latter, but if she is the former, why is she texting just you and not her DB? Are you seen as more of a soft touch?

Are you going to be the worm that turned OP? fgrin

She does sound CF. I would just respond saying, No can do - have a good night.

EmilyChambers79 Sun 17-Dec-17 18:19:19

She's not cheeky to ask. She'd be cheeky if she told you that's what was happening.

Just say she's welcome to leave the car at yours but you can't help with lifts.

It would now appear that CF is applied to anyone asking family for a favour. My siblings have asked me for lifts and I've either said yes or no but it's never enraged me.

On the other hand, pass it to your DH to deal with and see if he can take his sister?

Gammeldragz Sun 17-Dec-17 18:20:35

I love how some people assume everyone else is just there to do stuff for them. Unless she does you a lot of favours, then she is being cheeky.

Be prepared for her to not take your 'no' well though.

AnneLovesGilbert Sun 17-Dec-17 18:21:42

Ha ha ha! “No, we’re busy”.

FGS don’t apologise.

KeepServingTheDrinks Sun 17-Dec-17 18:24:45

I was going to say Could you not respond from a different angle and say “sorry, we won’t be able to take you in but you’re welcome to leave the car at ours and get the bus” but Asiaticlily said it first fgrin

pictish Sun 17-Dec-17 18:25:02

Asiatic's reply is good. Just say no. Don't bother adding a sarky tone. You don'#t need to fight fire with fire here...just put it out with cool water.

MorningstarMoon Sun 17-Dec-17 18:27:26

I don't understand why you feel this is CF-ery. She's only asked you to take her into town 14-16 miles isn't all that far.

No you don't need to be sarcastic about it. If you don't want to take her just say no sorry we have plans.

KNain Sun 17-Dec-17 18:30:35

Yes EmilyChambers79!

Sorry OP, I suspect the untold backstory here might change things. But just from the example you gave I don't think asking for a favour is that cheeky - I would ask members of my family (including in-laws) to do similar for me, and they have asked similar of me in the past. I think doing favours for each other is part of being a family. I don't think it's that far, and yes it's busy - but that's Christmas, and it's only once a year. I'd probably pick her up and give her a lift home too!!

If it's not convenient just tell her you can't.

gingertom11 Sun 17-Dec-17 18:31:33

Thanks for the replies thus far. 

Presume she would get a taxi home if she leaves car at ours but not sure. 

She is my husbands brothers wife and does tend to text me to ask 'favours' rather than my DH. 

I've got absolutely no problem just saying no to her and there is no drama really but honestly she's constantly asking for favours and expects everyone to do shit for her. She's got PIL wrapped around her little finger because they're scared that if they say anything to her she'll stop them seeing the GC which is ridiculous but that's their justification so I think because they let her get away with it she thinks she can try it on with everyone. I've said no to her so many times (amongst plenty of other times when we have done favours for her)but she doesn't get the hint. I don't think I've asked her for a favour once, and she's never offered one either. 

Just felt like I needed a bit of a sounding board here before I reply to her to avoid overreacting. Christmas stress levels are rising i think! Think I'll suggest the bus option, thanks all. 

MrsMozart Sun 17-Dec-17 18:34:33

A gentle no to a lift (no apology!) and an ok for her to leave her car at yours, so long as that doesn't cause you any hassle fgrin

Thequeenisdeadboys Sun 17-Dec-17 18:38:21

What's CF ?

PricillaQueenOfTheDesert Sun 17-Dec-17 18:39:01

Tell her you’re far too busy and you plan to have a drink early that day too. You don’t need to explain further. Best of luck, she is a CF. Have a great Christmas.

SABeeTiger Sun 17-Dec-17 18:39:23

It's shit isn't it? I get an absolute shitstorm rained upon me if I say no to my CF and every second of my time scrutinised as to why I've had the audacity to say no. It makes you think they dont want to spend time with you as a person, that you are only worth what you can do for them.

PricillaQueenOfTheDesert Sun 17-Dec-17 18:40:23

@*thequeen*. It’s the acronym for Cheeky Fucker.

Furiosa Sun 17-Dec-17 18:41:07

Thequeenisdeadboys

Apparently "CF" mean "Cheeky Fucker"

For the longest time I thought it meant "Cunt Faced". My internal voice is a lot ruder that I though blush!

FizzyGreenWater Sun 17-Dec-17 18:41:20

We're not available sorry but the bus is quicker and easier anyway so that's your best option'

dizzy174 Sun 17-Dec-17 18:41:42

cf cheeky f**k

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