I’m a mother of four and my husband never disciplines the youngest one and he is horribly naughty. But when I do discipline I get yelled at by my husband. My son can seriously go from 0-1000 in seconds because he doesn’t like the answer u gave him, my 2 youngest children fight all the time from what color plate they r eating off of to who goes on the computer. They can’t even brush there teeth in the bathroom at the same time because no matter what something happens. I feel like a referee from the time I wake up till the time they go to bed. My husband doesn’t help in anyway. I do everything so when I’m frustrated cause the kids r fighting and I’ve had enough my husband comes out yelling and screaming at me in front of the kids.
Your children are going to fight all the more if your dh has favourites. Please don’t pick favourites yourself or overcompensate. You need to sit down and talk and stop with this shitty behaviour. Divorce is of course the extreme option.
Your husband is the problem. He is abusive towards you and your children are witnessing it and probably see it as normal. They follow his lead and have no respect for you. You need counselling as a couple- nothing will change until he changes.
* I do everything so when I’m frustrated cause the kids r fighting and I’ve had enough* What does this mean? Do you explode and shout at the kids? Then he shouts at you? Did he never help around the house/with the children, or has your DH got worse as you had more children and the home became busier/noisier? Sounds like you have to 'stop doing everything' and get him to do a list of chores and parenting duties. But not much here to judge the situation.